Don’t Play With Me: 6 Things You Don’t Joke About With Black Women

May 2, 2012  |  
1 of 7



As a whole, the black community has a great sense of humor. When you’ve been through as much shyte as black people have been through, a good sense of humor is almost essential. Without it, you just might lose your mind. But there’s a limit to everything. Some “jokes” are too close to home to be funny. These aren’t hard fast rules, but when it comes to black women and these areas, you might want to tread lightly or completely avoid them altogether.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Our Money

Donna Summer never lied when she said, “She works hard for the money, so you better not screw with it.”  Alright, so she didn’t quite say that. But I’m sure we share the same sentiment. After we’ve spent a majority of our days away from our kids and loved ones, slaving away for the man, the very last thing you want to do is either try to stop my hustle, or misuse the money I’ve entrusted you with. There have been many a relationship, whether romantic, familial or platonic, that have been completely shattered because of a monetary issue. Don’t do it.

Photo Credit: Shutterstock

Our Hair

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this or not but women, and particularly black women, want our hair to be fresh. Whether you’re relaxed or natural, we can all agree that we don’t want to be caught out in public with our hair looking a mess… unless it’s an emergency. So if for whatever reason, you’re not feeling our hairstyle at a particular moment, it’d probably be in your best interest to ignore it. We really don’t want to hear the negative feedback. Because if I did my hair and stepped out, then I think I look fresh. And if I didn’t have a chance to work with it, then I probably know I’m looking strug. If you must express an opinion about my coiffure, make sure it’s to celebrate instead of criticize.

Source: Shutterstock

Our Sanity

Men love to call us crazy. And that may be so. But women aren’t the only crazy folk walking this earth. There are plenty of crazy men to go around. Maybe you’ve run into a couple.  Honestly, if we’re a little off-center, 6.75 times out of 10  it’s because of something a man has or hasn’t done.

Image Source: Shutterstock

Our Mothers

My father told me that Kareem Abdul Jabar once called another player a motherf**er and when a reporter asked him about it, he told him that calling someone a “motherf***er” is the highest insult in the black community because we revere our mothers so much. In other words, if you were to f**k your mother, whether literally or figuratively, you are lower than the scum of the earth. Abusing your mother is bad enough but allowing someone else to talk smack about her, past a certain extent, is downright unacceptable. I know somehow, somewhere people have lost their lives flapping their gums about somebody’s beloved mother.  If you value life, don’t mess with moms.


Our Man

The single sistas know how hard it can be to find a good one. So once you’ve got him, it’s important that you don’t let the outsiders, whether they’re your family, friends or a random strangers, try to play your man. We all know that the male ego can be a bit fragile, so you shouldn’t be ok with anyone stomping it.


Our Kids

I come from a long line of ride or die mothers. So if I’ve ever seen the women in my family act a fool, it was most likely after they felt someone had wronged their children. My mother once told me that before she had children, she was super chill and didn’t worry about anything. I don’t know that woman. And I know the women in my family, aren’t the only ones who operate like this. Kids should be a mother’s top priority, so saying something slick about a [good] mother’s child, is just as good as committing suicide. Leave the babies alone.


More on Madame Noire!

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Marina Calis

    These are the very reason’s I will remain single…I;m jacked up at the moment and if a man talks about me,my hair,my child,my sanity,my mother or any of the above…he can keep it moving.Its just some lowdown people in this world….now that’s being real.

  • Kath

    I’d redo that list, Mom would be first. And I f I had to drop something or put it last, it’d be the man.

  • Kath

    Except man and kids. Ain’t got kids, and would’nt get worked up over someone dissing anyone other than mom.

  • I don’t understand ppl who comment on articles just to B#$%^ about how predictable or bad the article is if you don’t like it move on ain’t no body forcing you to read it it’s one thing to have constructive critism but don’t b$%^& and moan about it … all that aside this list is accurate my mother is top of the list for me though the quickest way to end up on the 6pm news is to speak poorly of my mama or to upset her

  • I noticed “our fathers” isn’t on the list. That’s what you get when you just have a baby mama instead of decent parents.

  • What a load of b.s.. These things will apply to anyone male or female. Instead of weak attempts to set black women apart from the rest of humanity, why not focus on what we all share. Garbage like this only creates a sense of separation and a further divisions within the human community.

  • Hymie

    I hear you, being Jewish I have to have a thick skin, black people could never put up with the abuse I face everyday

  • RacismSux

    This whole thing is dumb, why can you have “black” schools but not “white” schools?.

  • RightIsRightWrongIsWrong

    This whole article is just stupid. I did not bother going through the the whole list but it is germaine to all. Why must we always cater to blacks, why must black people allways be “hooked up”. You can call me what you want but until there is a level playing ground you don’t have the right. One case in point, why is Black Beauty pagements legal and white not, explain that to me.

    • #SWERVE!

      This website is made for black women based on the point of view of a BLACK woman. No one said you had to cater to black women or the black community period! We get “hooked up” as you put it, because we provide for ourselves and deserve to hook ourselves up every once in a while, just like a white person. Maybe black paegents are legal because believe it or not, no mother wants their child to be cheated out of a contest because it was rigged. I dont care what you say, but that is known to happen when white children are involved in anything! Now instead of posting snode co

      • #SWERVE!

        Now instead of posting snide comments on a website that has nothing to do with you, make your own. Jealousy never was an attractive trait, dear. 🙂

  • JW

    It’s an interesting list. It appears that you are from a matriarchal family. I am from a patriarchal family and some of the things mentioned are stereotype more than anything. I agree that we should be sensitive to the black woman’s plight, but our beautiful black women tend to cover up their beauty with heavy makeup weave, fake nails, eyelashes, etc. I wish they wore more afros! A natural look! Get back to the the roots of who we once were. Look at the images of black people from the past. They were lean and took care of themselves. Nowadays most of our women are overweight and wear clothing that reveals what their man should be finding out behind closed doors. It’s not cool to wear a see thru dress with a thong to work! I’m just saying that’s all. As a man, it looks good (from a sexual standpoint), but she aint goin home to mom with me! No way! Since most women have to work, they really don’t have time to cook and would rather eat out. Believe or not, that is hurting our people because the best food you can eat it is the food you cook at home. Lower sodium etc. Brings the household together too! Keeps money in your pocket as well. However today’s woman makes it imperative that she goes out to eat the most expensive food on the menu. And it isn’t even part of your normal diet. I think black women are the most strongest out of any group of women on the planet because of what they have to deal with before they even step out the door! I applaud many but shake my head at quite a few. Anyway keep doin whatcha doin! Peace and Love.

    • Ashley

      Heavy make up and weaves were first worn by White women. And you must remember that there was a time (not too long ago) where Black women were taunted for our natural kinky hair and dark skin. The only way or us to thrive in society and make money was if we conformed to the majority. Of course now the “natural hair” concept is making it’s way back in the Black community, but there are still many Black women who prefer the straighter and longer hair. I, myself, am guilty of perming/relaxing my hair and getting extensions/weave sewn in and I also wear makeup (although my hair and makeup always looks natural).

      I do agree with your point that it is a shame our women are degrading themselves by flaunting way too much skin for the sake of finding a man, but we are not the only race that does this. I find some of your accusations on women in the Black community somewhat true, but at the same time, it feels as if you are also agreeing with the stereotypes that majority of Black women look, act and dress like this. Maybe the fact I am a Black young woman has caused me to become somewhat sensitive to your comments. The last part of your comment deserves some applause though. My mom was a single mother who worked an 8-5 office job and by the time we got home it was well past 6 pm (thanks to Houston rush hour traffic) and on the days we had to go to church for Bible study, choir rehearsal, theater rehearsal, etc it would be almost 9-10 pm, so my mom found it easier to just pick up a hamburger or some Chinese food on her way from work so we could have a quick meal. It wasn’t healthy, but it was all she could do so we would not go on an empty stomach. Being a mother in general is hard, being a single mother is harder (especially with 4 kids), but being a Black single mother (or Hispanic, Asian, Indian, African…etc) is one of the hardest jobs ever that deserves praises beyond….(my dad as in our lives, but my mom had custody….wanted to clear that up bore people accused my daddy of being another stereotypical dead beat black father.)

  • skrateuptroofhomez

    Why isn’t the stink of the puss listed?

  • BigUpsForMyJiggazOnWelfare

    1) never axe them if they man has ajob 2) never axe dem if they man is around da home 3) never axe dem why dey be cashin welfare checks under 5 different names 4) never axe dem if dey know their dad 5) never axe dem if they like policemen and 6 never axe them to speak in a normal tone at da movies

    • yup

      Dont talk like a moron and they probably wouldnt ASK these questions.

  • mamanas

    I think this list could be universal. I just hope it wasn’t rank according to importance. My husband and children are two, however I have learned to put me as number 1. Because if I don’t take care of me….everything else suffers. This includes lving a healthy lifestyle and doing what I need to do to stay healthy spiritually, mentally and physically. Also, education ranks in the top 5.

  • john

    i dont understand why this is about black women when it applies to almost all women

  • Pingback: Don’t Play With Me: 6 Things You Don’t Joke About With Black Women | 93.1 WZAK()

  • USAFree

    I see no value in the list or the article. How does this article/list help Black women?

    • Ashley

      I agree. although some of the stuff is true….I personally don’t agree with everything this list says about us. As adults, getting upset over some of the stuff on this list is just plain ignorant. This list just confirms that Black women will get loud and ghetto at the drop of a dime, which is not true. If you are a grown a** woman and you can’t handle situations with out cocking an attitude or getting loud….then society has failed you. Sorry, but that is my honest opinion.

  • Kashbmaryd

    Seems to me that this list is universal. I mean money? C’mon. And hair (though, admittedly, black folks have special issues in this area) and kids are really across the board. These things are not necessarily exclusive to the black race (unless you talk about afro-centric hairstyles and our history of slavery among other historical facts).

  • Kashbmaryd

    Seems to me that this list is universal. I mean money? C’mon. And hair (though, admittedly, black folks have special issues in this area) and kids are really across the board. These things are not necessarily exclusive to the black race (unless you talk about afro-centric hairstyles and our history of slavery among other historical facts).

  • I have warned many of suckers about messing with my kids or my money…both top No Sirs

  • I talk about all that ish. Idgaf

  • Sheezamazin

    you mess with my kids its a wrap for you and im not responsible for my actions

  • FromUR2UB

    The money thing applies to everyone, male and female.  Everyone falls out over money.

  • exactly…do not get between me and whatever I am doing to achieve my goals and stay on my journey 

  • Pingback: 6 Things You Don't Say Or Joke With To Women About | EURweb()

  • IllyPhilly

    Hey, you broke muthafvckin nappy headed crazy chick with that ugly man and dirty looking kid, lemme borrow a dollar.  Wait nobody put skintones or butts or education?

  • candy

    You left out the jokes/comments about the coveted FAKE HAIR that black women flaunt 24/7.

  • BabaPuppe

    Lol I already knew what to expect lol, great article. 

  • J A SASSY aka salon22w

    mine is my mom and my family and my hair (please leave blk womens hair alone) white womens hair is never mentioned.. its always about blk hair.. we love our hair and dont really careif white folks have a problem or not,, do they even know what kind of hair they have.. NOT  A GOOD one for sure..i will take blk hair anyday..

  • CK


  • Bluekissess

    These “list” annoy me. I’m sure all women from all walks of life can relate to this “list”. Why does it have to be a “black women” thing?

    • Vwells1

      These lists are a “black woman” thing because this is a black woman’s website. 

      • Phillis

        Why are there no “White Women'” web sites

        • Reallyfabu

          Why are you concerned if there are any white women sites? There are millions of sites geared toward white women like everything else. So why is it a big deal there is a site geared toward black women?

        • Because you haven’t started one yet. No one is stopping you.

        • original*ijs

          cosmo. i like cosmo too but its still mostly for wht women

    • Sonrisa

      Seriously. There was no point in making this list. Predictable.

      • NEICEY


    • Mls2698

      Do black women link their sanity to men??? #4 contradicts #6. No man has ever called me crazy…….I wish he would. I hear ya

      • Kath

        It would appear so. Women do need to become a lot more independent minded.

    • NEICEY


      • Walmex

        Another thing you can’t joke about is how “strong” they are. Just pretend it’s true.

  • Pingback: UPTOWN Magazine » Don’t Play With Me: 6 Things You Don’t Joke About With Black Women()

  • huh1

    My girls r first, mom,money in this order. Everything else could get a pass.


    What about age and weight?

    • Dal

      That’s a white woman thing. Most black women don’t age that badly.

  • RoyalQueen

    @Madame Noire: You forgot food,but everything else is correct.

  • Ay


  • Wow, that’s pretty much everything. I think women have more of a sense of humor than this article gives credit. I think it depends on the context, too.

  • L-Boogie

    I trip on everyone except men and mom.  Sometimes they are both annoying as hell.