7 Reasons Why Your Buddy May Be Your Substitute Boyfriend

April 27, 2012  |  

If you are a single woman, you may have this problem: A favorite male friend that has become a substitute boyfriend. He’s the charming fellow who shows up at the right time, says the right thing and is always seemingly available when you want to hang out. Besides that, he’s straight. Single. And, most importantly, not trying to holler. If he was, you would look at him sideways for violating your friendship. That said, it won’t stop you from treating the homey, like the boo and showing him a little extra love. Click through the following pages and decide: Is he your friend or a substitute boyfriend.

1. You show up with his favorite cupcake, cookie or coffee every time you see him…just because. Don’t fool yourself. This isn’t just because. What you’re really doing is showering him with little treats like you used to do—when you had a man. Why? You revel in the warm fuzzy feelings from making someone else happy.

2. Friday nights. You know he likes to watch basketball, football baseball or any other sport, so every Friday, you’re at a bar with him. It doesn’t matter if it’s a hole in the wall, a strip club, Hooters for Happy Hour and hot wings or some fancy schmancy restaurant—you’re there. Cheering for his team, eating bad turkey burgers and downing a couple sodas. Why? You don’t want to stay home solo to watch Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, Shark Tank and Top Chef on demand .

3. He introduces you to everyone, which is great, but his friends think you’re a couple. While he sets his friends straight, this is really a detriment to you because he has cute friends you’d like to holler at but since they think you’re boo’d up with their boy…even after the fact…

4. You’ve been partying all night with your girls. Homie is there and offers to drop you home, but you don’t want to leave your friends behind. Understanding your plight, Homie volunteers to drop all five of your friends home even they all live in the opposite direction of your place. This is the perfect opportunity him to be your…(next page please)

5. (continued from previous page)…Bed mate. You know what it is. It’s late and he’s too tired to drive home so you invite him to stay over. Since you’ve been homies for forever and a decade, it’s only right that he sleep on the left side of your bed. That is until you roll over on his side in the wee hours of the night, and miraculously your head lands on his shoulder and his arm, around your shoulders. Soon enough, you’re cuddling, snuggling and spooning. And loving every minute of it.

6. Homie is always your plus one. Concert, dinner, company holiday party, movies, vacation and even weddings, he shows up by your side.

7. Feeling ill? No problem. Your substitute boyfriend/homie is the first person bringing you soup, juice, meds, tissues, a cold compress, ice cream and your favorite movie—Love Jones. Even though you’re nodding off on the couch, he’s still there watching the flick and rubbing your feet to make you feel better. Should he fall under the weather, you’re right there to reciprocate, swinging by his place with all the aforementioned plus fresh baked bread—your specialty.

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  • Maramazing

    For me, its what happens when you become too good of friends with a guy before you get around to dating. Attraction and feelings are there, but you’re both put in the others friends zones

  • Eyes wide open

    That good friend sounds like the makings of a great husband!

  • RF

    He does all those things, and the next guy come along and do half and get the goods. Plight of the friendzone

  • I don’t understand this posting. This dude sounds like husband material, but he only made a friend? Please ladies explain this to me.. Cause it sounds to me that a woman likes to be dogged a little.. I just don’t understand.. 

    • FAMURATTLER85

      Explanation: Bottom line: there’s something about him that is unattractive to her which happens to be a deal breaker. He can be physically unattractive or possesses some characteristic(s) that she hates but tolerates BECAUSE he isn’t her man. Just because a man is “husband material” doesn’t mean he’s HER “husband material” and that does not automatically mean that woman likes to be “dogged” either. Husband material/good man qualities are relative. I have a few friends that have the type of relationship with me that are discussed in this article and the aforementioned reasons are why I chose to friendzone them. I have a question for you: Why do many men equate a woman rejecting the first “good man” that comes into her life with her preferring a thug or a man who would dog her?

      I hope I cleared up any confusion that you had.

    • FAMURATTLER85

      Explanation: Bottom line: there’s something about him that is unattractive to her which happens to be a deal breaker. He can be physically unattractive or possesses some characteristic(s) that she hates but tolerates BECAUSE he isn’t her man. Just because a man is “husband material” doesn’t mean he’s HER “husband material” and that does not automatically mean that woman likes to be “dogged” either. Husband material/good man qualities are relative. I have a few friends that have the type of relationship with me that are discussed in this article and the aforementioned reasons are why I chose to friendzone them. I have a question for you: Why do many men equate a woman rejecting the first “good man” that comes into her life with her preferring a thug or a man who would dog her?

      I hope I cleared up any confusion that you had.

  • FStubbs

    He likes her, he’s just friendzoned.

  • Honeybee30

    I like the article. Anyone can relate to it.  My best friend.

  • Tay

    Cute article. I can totally relate. That homeboy became hubby! 🙂