This Might Hurt a Bit: 7 Harsh Truths About Finding The ONE

May 3, 2012  |  
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The problem with heartbreak is that, you have to feel the pain. There is no painkiller of heartbreak that doesn’t come with serious side effects. Alcohol, random sex or jumping into a new relationship all—as you’ve probably experienced—just leave you hurting ten times as much as you did before. Because of this inevitable pain, many women crawl into a hole after a heartbreak, and never go back out to find someone new. Here’s a little bit about that mentality, and why it just doesn’t work.

“I don’t want to get serious again until I want to get married”

That’s the only way to guarantee there will be no heartbreak, right? That’s why so many women say this. But, there are a number of reasons why this just doesn’t work out. There are plenty of people who’ve been separated or divorced, that will tell you, you can get hurt, and probably even more so, once you’re in a marriage.


Don’t get stuck holding on

Some women stick to the not dating until marriage plan. They stick to it so much that, for fear of reliving their last heartbreak, they do anything to make things work with the next guy. Being in a bad relationship seems better than a breakup. Essentially, they end up settling.

You need to know what’s bad, to know what’s good

If you look back at yourself as a teen, or in college, there are certainly things you so wish you could tell your young self. Essentially, you have proof from your past that there are things to learn, and you don’t even know what they are yet. If you’ve only been with a few people, there are types of relationships out there that you don’t even know exist. You could be so much happier, but you need to go out there and risk being unhappy to discover that.

You might heal, in retrospect

Meeting progressively better guys can actually make any pain you were holding onto over past guys disappear. As you realize there are far better quality relationships out there, you’ll suddenly wonder why you shed one tear over those boys you dated in college or your early twenties. Essentially, you might put yourself at risk of forming new wounds by dating, but you will most definitely heal old ones.

You’ll crave fun

There is one thing that is much more powerful than fear of heartbreak—a craving for attention, for sex, for fun. Sorry but, you won’t be able to hole up for long. It’s simply not human nature. One morning, you’ll wake up from your heartbreak and realize, “Good God I need to go out!” and you’ll get dressed, go to a bar, flirt with men and submit yourself to the fact that you might get hurt.

Everyone gets attached

Even if you try purposely to date someone you won’t “fall for,” you’ll fall for him anyways. We’re human. Not robots. Not even just animals. If you spend enough time with someone, you’ll become attached. So, even that guy you thought had no power over you that you’ve just kept around to keep your bed warm—he’ll develop the power to hurt you.

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