Can Women Really Have It All?

April 24th, 2012 - By Erica Renee

As Beyoncé prepares for a musical comeback with her newborn baby, Blue Ivy, in tow to and from the studio, the new mother seems to juggle it all well: a high profile career while being both a mother and a wife. While other celebrities like Oprah, have shunned the idea of having kids, saying that her job ultimately became her ‘baby,’ there are others who seem to manage it all: the family and the career. Is this a new notion for the modern day woman? Do to be very successful, does something have to give? Or can women really have it all?

While the average career mom may not have a high profile job like the above mentioned celebs or a nanny to assist with household chores and fill in on ‘baby duty’ when mom and dad want some alone time, all women who are attempting to climb the career ladder, raise children, and keep a relationship spicy all share the same struggles of balance, just on different levels.

The question of women having it all is a timeless debate that has changed over time. Part of the reason the ‘having it all’ theory has changed is because what constitutes ‘having it all’ has subsequently been altered.

In the past, having it all may have meant to have a big house, a man with big pockets, and kids adored by envious neighbors. Mothers were excited to cook dinner and please their men. And while this certainly wasn’t all women, the vast majority (especially before the 70’s) considered this the American Dream.

Now, for many women, that American Dream consists of having their own career. But does having multiple degrees, businesses, or budding careers mean that relationships will suffer? Can a woman truly be a force to be reckoned with in her respective career and still be supermom and wife?

Many women struggle to balance relationships and career, before marriage. So it’s inevitable that the struggle becomes even greater once marriage and children are involved. But even things that are difficult to juggle can still be juggled, right?

Between working, writing, and grad school, I barely have time to date and manage all of my responsibilities. This is also partly because my time management skills are almost nonexistent. But imagine if I added a family to the equation. Juggling it all would require some serious time management skills and a bit of extra help whether through family, friends, or babysitters.

I’m not saying it’s impossible to manage.  But it seems to be all about timing, balance, and compromising.

At some point in time, one thing must be compromised to ensure the success of the other, whether it’s for a day, a month or a year; it’s not realistic to be Betty Crocker every day, work long hours at an office, travel every other week for work, and make sure hubby isn’t sneaking around because of lack of food and affection. As much as we like to consider ourselves as superwomen, there just isn’t that many hours in a day.

Still, this doesn’t mean that it can’t be done, right? Or is it a matter of having it all, just not all at once?

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  • Pivyque

    Women can have it all. It depends on what “having it all” is in their books. Some women think that having a great husband and being a stay at home mom is having it all. Some think that work, kids and family is having it all. I guess it all depends. God, successful friendships, a healthy marriage and a stable career is having it all for me. I’m happy with that! :-)

  • JusSayin

    I am so glad that this was an article. I think that is certainty possible and I think that that is the misconception many women have. They THINK that they have to make a choice but in reality you do  not. You simply have the find the pieces to complete your puzzle. Not every piece fits. Every “perfect” man is not going to be the perfect piece to your life. For example? I have a hectic schedule. I just moved into a house, brand new job, a 2 year old and a relationship. I still manage to cook, clean, and maintain my house as well as maintain my relationship but it takes time management. You have to schedule time for yourself and balance out what you are capable of doing. If you have an understanding and supportive family and a job that appreciates you then you will do fine. DO NOT SLIP ON THE ALONE TIME…. <– Not a game. And; you will find that you can have it all…while listening to your "beyonce" (I prefer Chrisette Michele) in the background. :-)

  • Ljoypeterson

    remember beyonce is rich and she has nannies and support to help her. for a woman without beyonce’s dough- keeping a husband, kids, working 40hours, doing the chores, you going have it all – a stroke, heart attack and broke down body

    • LaLaLaMeansILoveYou

       exactly, and don’t forget gym/exercise time too because heaven forbid you start “slipping”…none of the other things you’re doing will mean anything if you let your body go that’s reason alone for your husband to leave you, according to the idiots on the ” Ask a black man” segment panel :)

  • Just saying!!

    I think the ending really started pointing to the struggles of balancing it all. That’s why I don’t like when people point to Beyonce as the example all the time, shes an ENTERTAINER. Very rare example. She didnt have to go to school or work a regular 9-5 and because she doesn’t really have to work now she has more flexibility. But the average everyday women CAN have it all I believe but it’s going to be an effort. However, I personally believe in raising my own children. Having babysitters here and there is one thing but I honestly don’t see the point in having children if work, etc is still going to be your priority–it just isn’t fair to the kids.

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