The Crazy Things I Heard Once I Went Natural

April 20th, 2012 - By Veronica Wells

This is me, the very day I went natural. Or stopped doing unnatural things to my hair. However you want to look at it. (No shade, no shots fired to my relaxed sisters.) Having had a relaxer since I was five years old, I can’t deny the…fear I felt when my beautician spun me around to reveal a teeny weeny afro. It was jarring. But after a couple of days I got used to it. While I was going through my own transition with my hair other people were adjusting to my new look as well. And they didn’t adjust quietly…

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  • Dionerobertson

    Interesting that all your comments appear to have come from….black people.  Many of the comments are advice from loved ones.  

  • Afrohairdontcare

    Well I’ve alread been “natural” for 10 years…but I recently decided to loc my hair. Which I am in love wih my locs. I was sooo exicted and happy to share it with my wonderful family. The first comment my dad said was ” well I guess that will be ok”….alright well thanks for your guess. The first word outta my stepmoms mouth was “why?” Sooooo thankfully I have this great supportive family to share my joy with! Also, I cacth flack from allowing my daughter to wear her hair out and free in afro because i refuse to subject to her to putting those tight arse painful loking “painless” ruber bands, pulled back ponytals or 1000 different muticolored hair clips.

  • Ajsmom1961

    this hair thing for black women is so trifling.i applaud any woman who can do her hair the way she wants and feel good about herself

  • Corinnelaine

    I left on vacation and came back natural and several friends and family said I would never find a man because of my hair. Smh

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=749593947 Candida Love

    I got everyone of those plus the “you’re lesbian right’ comment. I weave and braid in the winter and during the summer I let my afro out. A few months ago i realize that my mom was making my 5 year old niece hate her natural hair and I flipped especially since both her mom and I wear our hair natural. I sat with my niece and explained to her her why her hair is like that and why she must love it. I even showed her how versatile her hair is by giving her a Mohawk. Ever since then she loves her hair. I realize that we have been conditioned to hate our hair texture and it continues when we go to the salon, when we walk the street and when we are at home. My hair does not define me, I define my hair.

  • http://www.antihairbreakage.com/ brnzqn

    Yes, I agree to wear natural hair you must be very self confident. When I went natural I overheard a whole conversation going on behind my back , like I wasn’t supposed to be listening. It went like this, “Girl, I was going to go natural but  my hair is too nappy for that” the other lady replied ” Me either  I couldn’t do it ” Keep in mind both of them were wearing weaves. Being natural is such a free feeling I do sometimes wear wigs and sew-ins only as protective styles for short periods of time. But I always go back to my natural hair. My newsletters are full of tips, inspiration and encouragement to continue with this movement.
    http://www.antihairbreakage.com

  • Guest

    After about a month of wearing my hair in a twist-out style, my husband asked when I was going to “fix” my hair!  I asked if by “fix” he meant relax and burn my hair with appliances…he said “Umm, yeah.”  I shook my head and said “I’m not…”

  • http://twitter.com/K33PITMOVIN2012 YOUWILLTHANKM3LATER™

    I went natural 9 months ago and I’m LOVING IT. I feel my hair is much healthier, I don’t see as much of it in the comb now as opposed to when I had a relaxer, and I just love how it feels:)

  • http://twitter.com/iRefuseToCare iRock Sisterlocks

    I always get, “so what do you plan on doing with it?”

  • http://twitter.com/EbonyCali Ebony

    When I went natural I was told I was trying to “prove” how black I was. I was like I don’t have to prove anything. I went natural because I just wanted to go natural.

  • Freckles022879

    I have natural red hair. When I told of my co workers I was going natural she politely told me that I would look like a clown with a big red fro..lol needless to say I do not look like a clown. I look cute.

  • Freckles022878

    I have natural red hair. When I told of my co workers I was going natural she politely told me that I would look like a clown with a big red fro..lol needless to say I do not look like a clown. I look cute.

    • FrooFroo51

      I am sooo happy for you! Some people can be cruel…and some of these comments are just brutal!

  • Msgoddess41

    I love your hair cut and you look nice…Make sure to rock some hot hearings and very little make up…..I am natural 4yrs now and Loving it……It feels good  being Chemically free……once your hair grows you have so much freedom to create and rock your own styles…. PLEASE IGNORE THE NEGATIVE COMMENTS BELOW…..THEY DONT MATTER……your pretty and free…

  • Felicia Leatherwood

    What a Great Article!  I loved it! 

  • FromUR2UB

    My daughter cut her hair down to about half an inch three years ago.  She hadn’t told me she’d cut it, so the first time I saw her, my jaw dropped open.  Frankly, I didn’t understand it, because women were going out and buying hair to put on their heads, and she had it naturally, but chose to cut all of hers off.   So I asked her why, and she said she had just grown tired of it.  When she began wearing her hair natural, she wouldn’t comb it, and I just don’t understand that, at all.  I didn’t have a problem with her hair being natural, but I don’t see what not combing it has to do with anything.  My hand would automatically go up to her head and start picking her hair out, and she would get mad and yank her head away.  Initially, she didn’t listen to me or her sister when we tried to tell her she needed to comb her hair because it just looked unkempt.  Her boyfriend never said anything about it, but I honestly believe he appreciated that we told her.  Eventually, she got the message. 

    I began sending her organic products for natural hair care, like the Shea Moisture line, which is good stuff; I use them myself.  I also sent her magazines and links to natural hair care sites, just to give her some ideas of what to do with it.  When she began braiding and twisting it, it looked nice.  She had to learn how to care for her natural care and which styles looked good on her.  Every eight weeks, she gets it pressed out to have the ends trimmed.   She still wears it natural, though she has allowed it to grow out.  When I see her now, her hair glows with health, is really soft to the touch, her edges are smooth and overall, looks beautiful.

    Don’t get angry with your relatives who say something, because they’re not trying to hurt you, they’re trying to help.  If people are asking you if you just roll out of bed and go, look in the mirror.  Does it look like that?  Going natural shouldn’t mean looking slovenly.  I’ve seen some people who don’t keep their hair looking neat and need to step up their game.  I’ve seen dreads and braids with lint entwined in them..or pieces of hair hanging off the tips that should be clipped off.  Those are examples of people who went natural just so they could be lazy. 

    We all know that natural hair requires a lot of time and care, and when people put that time and care into it, it shows.  

    • wondertwin

      You make some interesting points. when I went natural I definately underestimated the time and effort that would go into maintaining it. It wasn’t laziness. there was just a lot of trial and error involved due to not having ever dealt with my natural hair texture. I suspect this is what your daughter exerienced. I’m sure she didn’t want to look unkempt.  Maybe she didn’t want to admit she was struggling with her hair since she perceived that you disapproved of it.

      Hopefully with all the info out there on natural haire care (aparantly it’s a movement now) women will not have these awkward phases that some of us had. Women who go natural just to literally forego ANY kind of maintenance are exremely few. we want to look pretty just like the next girl. In fact, I am way more pf a product junkie now than ever and constantly look up ways to treat and style my hair. From what I read that is the case for most natural ladies. I suspect there are women who think that giving up a relaxer means less upkeep, I was one.  But like I said, it’s not that we want to be lazy. I just mistakenly believed it would be more wake up and go. and it is in some ways. But you are certainly correct, natural hair for sure reflects the love you put into it.

    • Mls2698

      Not combing the hair is based on the curl pattern. As the days go by, my hair turns into more S-patterns and all I have to do is scrunch it; to comb them out would make it frizzy. No plans on taking a hot comb to mine.

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