Why Being A Stay-At-Home Mom is Unrealistic For Most Black Women

April 17th, 2012 - By Charlotte Young

keepingitrealwithangelaharris.blogspot.com

According to the Grio, stay-at-home moms were forced into the spotlight after a Democratic strategist remarked that Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s wife had “actually never worked a day in her life.” Her comment sparked “the mommy wars,” between working and stay-at-home moms across the nation. While no one can argue that being a mom in general is hard work, Kuae Mattox, the president of a support group for mothers who decided not to work full-time, says “the mommy wars” are a battle black women have chosen not to take on.

“We don’t see the mommy wars as our wars – we have friends, mothers and aunts who all worked,” Mattox, a Columbia University master’s graduate and stay-at-home mom said to the Grio. “It would be hypocritical of us to disparage people who worked and to tell people what to do – you have to decide what’s best for you and your family.”

While Mattox has chosen to be a stay-at-home mom and helps to support other women like her, black women are half as likely to be stay-at home moms compared to white women. In fact, stay-at-home motherhood has historically never been an option for African American women.

Rose M. Kreider and Diana B. Elliet, note this in their report titled “Historical Changes in Stay-at-Home Mothers: 1969 to 2009.” Their report states that “there is evidence that married black women have always been employed outside of the house in large numbers…” (Landry 2000) …”Even black mothers with young children were in the work force following World War II, when many of their white counterparts had withdrawn from the labor force” (Thistle 2006).

In addition, single motherhood is high in the black community. A Pew Research report observes that 72 percent of black children are born out of wedlock, and black children are three times as likely to live with one parent compared to white children. Even for children born in two parent homes, these days black women have a better chance at getting a job than black men. Black women have an unemployment rate of 12.3 percent compared to the 13.8 percent of black men.

“The woman’s not going to be the one to stop working and stay home,” University of Pennsylvania’s Dr. Camille Charles said to the Grio. “She might be the bigger earner. And as long as marriage and divorce rates are the way that they are now, and other contentious things in the black community, I don’t think women are going to feel secure in giving up their careers.”

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  • ImJustSayn

    I agree with you on this but also I am going to throw some race in this because this is true. Black men expect black women to work, they put alot on us educated or not they expect us to work and pay half BUT if they are married to a woman of another race especially caucasian they will bust their balls to make sure that woman has everything she need to stay at home and raise their bi-racial kids. Hold that woman on a throne and look down on a black woman. True facts!

  • Ladybug94

    My mom’s oldest sister was a stay at home mom (never had a job outside the home period).  They were not necessarily rich but my uncle made decent money as an Engineer.  There are actuallly quite a few stay at home moms that are black and they collect a check from the government.  Not putting down women on welfare, some people need time to get themselves together or to get schooling or a trade to get a job but there are stay at home moms of differenet races for different reasons.

    • Shellksu

      For al the SAHM (stay at home moms) do you guys have a set structured day or do you just follow your babies needs and wants or a combo of both? I am a teacher but am staying at home and I know that socializing, sturcture, and teaching is key. How do you socialize your children? I take my son to gymboree, swim class, and am involved in a mom’s group. We go to storytime on a weekly basis at the library and go to the park. I host and attend play dates. But I still feel that he needs more socializing? Any suggestions? By the way, he is 15 months old.

  • Lgnicholas

    I hate staying home. I wish I can only see them a hour a day, s**t. But if my son wasn’t autistic man I would have been gone. its hard to find someone to watch him.. I would work 24/7.

  • Pingback: Your Questions About Work From Home Moms | blog.onlinemoneyinfo.org

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