The Black Snob Asks: What If These White Celebs Were Black?

Case No. 3: Coco

Let’s just all say it. None of us would know who this woman is if she weren’t A) married to former pimp-turned-rapper-turned-actor Ice T and B) Didn’t take tons of gratuitous photos of her in a thong with that ridiculously large posterior. But, defying the odds, she’s on reality TV, talks in a baby voice and is the definition of T & A as the latest version of what Pamela Anderson and Anna Nicole Smith were before her.

BUT WHAT IF SHE WERE BLACK?She’d be INVISIBLE.

While there are some white girls with big butts and some black girls with flat butts, people – for better or worse – associate a round booty with black women. So if comedian Aisha Tyler could once joke that being a black girl with no butt was like having a handicap, a black girl with just a large butt is called “Tuesday.” As in, you can see that any day of the week. Black girls with big butts have to do more than just be black girls with big butts if they want to stand out among the sea of big booty sisters. You need a gimmick. Do rappers and athletes really like you? Maybe you could be on Love & Hip Hop or Basketball Wives? Can you sing or rap? Maybe you could be Nicki Minaj? Everyone else? Good luck breaking out of the pack, Black Cocos of the world.

Case in point: You, if you have a big butt, but only the bus driver seems to care.