In Between The Sheets: Things All Women Are Insecure About In Bed

April 14, 2012  |  
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Next time you’re watching professional Adult Videos (if that’s something you’re into) just remember the camera person knows just what angles make the female look the hottest.  The female herself isn’t really enjoying herself so she can actually think about every little movement she makes, and some moments of the, um, encounter were left out of the finished production altogether. If only we had such finesse in our own sex lives. Luckily, real couples have a lot more fun, but these uncomfortable dynamics still exist….


Any time a woman isn’t simply on her back, the risk of all sorts of issues arises: the appearance of a double chin, flattened breasts, visible tummy roll and the list really goes on. No matter how perfect your body is or how gorgeous you are, we all become victim to unflattering angles in certain sexual positions.

Am I a prude?

You can’t know what a man’s experience has been with every single partner. Maybe, if you’re in a relationship, you’ve heard a bit about the ex’s style and preferences. But, every time a woman gets in bed with a man, she’s aware that he has dozens, maybe hundreds of sexual memories. Sometimes, we have no conception of how we stack up. Are we prude in comparison to others? Kinky? Ordinary? (Whatever that means.)

Are there signs of an ex?

Just like he has a sexual past, so do you. We have behaviors in bed that have been ingrained in us from past men, that we may not even realize are there. But, does he?? Is it clear that somebody clearly taught us to do that, THAT way?



Some guys like a girl who is vocal about her pleasure. Some men find it embarrassing. The thing is, it’s hard to control that when you’re in the middle of feeling a dozen amazing sensations! Most women don’t even know what they sound like in bed, let alone if their guy likes it.

The “Other” Noises

And then there are the noises we can’t control…the awkward, unfortunate sounds that squeak out when two sweaty bodies slap, smash and rub together. I have no idea who is more embarrassed: him, or me? Does he think that was my fault? Or his?

Am I what he expected?

I’ve heard it from so many men—they know instantly after sleeping with a woman for the first time whether or not things can really go somewhere with her. You can imagine the insecurity this has spurred in many women! We end that first session in the sack wondering, “So, what was the verdict?”


There are some activities and positions in the bedroom that require strength—strength of the elbows, the knees, the stomach, you name it. We often wonder, “Were other women able to hold out longer before saying ‘my knees hurt!’?”

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  • Curtis

    This article sounds like it was written by a senior in high school or at most a sophomore in college LOL. All this writer is giving you in this article is her own insecurities. I am amazed that anyone could take this writer seriously but I do admit its a fun read :).

  • Aaron Barr

    1. First off, guys usually aren’t that concerned about those type of things while getting it on. And some of us feel the same way.

    2. I kinda get that one but on the other hand, every guy likes a challenge or to be the first to do something with a woman.

    3. Never thought of this one but I suppose it could be an issue. On the other hand, not everything you learned from your ex is necessarily bad.

    4. I’d say, until you find out for sure, that as with everything else, noise in moderation. Too much can be distracting as well as feel fake. Too little and we might think we’re not doing enough or not getting it right.

    5. One of my exes rather amusingly said ‘She’s telling you she likes it.’

    6. I have no idea why any guy would think that. At least in a monogamous relationship,
    sex gets better over time as each partner figures out what the other likes.

    7. And guys worry about keeping it up (literally and figuratively); most men aren’t going to care.

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  • Meghan

    The only thing I have worried about in bed is how stupid my orgasm face looks…and I don’t worry about it that often…if girls have the aforementioned insecurities..they just need to remind themselves that guys feel like that we’re having sex with them, and think we’re perfect in that moment!

  • 30thoughts

    WRONG!! None of these applied. Just like the men, if you’re in the middle of sex, you should not be thinking about any of these things.  I don’t care if he thinks any of these things…try again.

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  • Doublejay86

    This is stupid!

  • Mahogany74

    Hmmm. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that 1 or 2 of these didn’t cross my mind at some point. It’s okay to have doubts now and again. That’s normal. It’s how you react to them that’s the real issue.

    • Nehemiah53

      Now you are smart and wise!

  • I haven’t had sex in months and frankly I’m okay with that. I’ve been considering staying celibate. I really don’t know for how long, but I feel like sex just isn’t worth it anymore.

    • Try it!

      I’ve been celibate for 2 years now…more so for spiritual reasons and its awesome! It is difficult at times but I keep busy and dont allow my mind to go there. People should really embrace this choice especially if they’re willing to wait for the right guy or girl to enter their lives.

  • RenJennM

    This list doesn’t apply to me. My insecurities (if they even dare to present themselves) are: 

    1) Gas — I’ve never passed it in bed, but I fear it happening in certain positions, like when sitting on his face. 

    2) My ouch factor — I notice that if I feel ANY type of pain at all and express it, it pauses my partner, even when I tell him it’s fine and to keep going. From that point on, he’d act TOO careful, and it’d knock out most of the sexiness/mood. 

    3) Creativity — I have this weird obsession with being the best (or at least one of the best) partners my partner has ever had, so my mind is always racing to come with different things that can make him go crazy and make me a permanent memory to reflect back to.

    • Guest

      Please explain sitting on his face? I’m clueless!

      • RenJennM

        LMAO! Girl, you haven’t lived! lol I’m just kidding. But to answer your question: when I woman sits on a man’s face (or woman’s face, whatever you prefer), he’s performing cunnilingus on her. Obviously, her privates are positioned right on top of his mouth. Maybe you’re more familiar with the “69” position, perhaps?

        • Aaron Barr

          That and some guys just like having a woman on top sometimes!

      • Aaron Barr

        Really? You need to get a man with more imagination!

  • FromUR2UB

    If you have time to think about all this stuff, then you are truly NOT into the moment.  Worrying about angles and stuff.  Please.  I guess only fake breasts are going to stand at attention when you’re on your back.  I’ve never known any man to complain about what the breasts are doing.

    Assuming neither one of us is coming to the relationship as a virgin, why should I care where he learned this or how another woman did that?  

  • Tallchiick

    I cant recall ever worry about stuff like that…my biggest concern during sex is who’s gonna be done first…and praying its me! Lol

  • IllyPhilly

    WTF, No ALL women don’t worry about that. I don’t even know one who does. You know what I worry about, my camera dying before the big climax! 

  • Tay

    This may be true for some or a few women but to say all women is wrong. I don’t ever think about this stuff. Not even prior to being married. Who has the time to let their mind go there during the moment?

  • Honeybee30

    I would be lying about some insecurites when about in the bed with my man. If I was starting a new relationship, it can be a problem for the first time. Now, if already secure in a relationship, it is no big deal because I am comfortable within myself. This is a great article.

  • Lsdixon2

    Yeah…I don’t worry about any of that stuff. When you are TRULY  comfortable with somebody and in-tune with them mentally as well as physically you can laugh about the little things that happen during sex.

    • joe chilly

       ust remember the camera person knows just what angles make the female look the hottest?????

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  • FromADudesPOV

    I don’t worry about any of the above who has time to think about that? If the sex is great nobody cares and if the sex is wack you don’t care because he’s never getting any again any way

    • Nehemiah53

      Is that all it’s about! Sex.

  • Bombphenom

    Yea I have none of these

    • Meghan


  • realest me