True Life: I Experienced Racism When…

April 12th, 2012 - By MN Editor

Though many try to pretend that we live in a colorblind society; for many people of color, racism is a very real issue. Considering we speak to an audience of black women everyday, we thought we’d ask them to share their racist, ridiculous and hurtful experiences with us. Here’s what they had to say.

Artemis: I was 18 in Zurich, learning to speak German. A guy walks up to me with this sneering smile and said, while touching my hair:

“du bist einen schwarzen schlampe.. ja?”

I understood up until the “schlampe” because I had had no reason to know what that meant until then… when I said I didn’t understand it, he just laughed and muttered it again, then got off the tram.

I asked my uncle (who’s white, he married my mom’s sister) what it meant, and watched him get angrier than I’d ever seen him… and told me to punch anyone who ever did it again in the face and get to his office asap.

MN: Did you ever find out what it meant?

Artemis: “You’re a black Slore? yes?” … My uncle told me … Didn’t hurt, but I was pretty pissed off… this guy was nothing like what “tv” in the islands portrayed racists to look like, he looked “normal,” not a monster that will try to rape you. Heck he didn’t even look like he could take me in a fight… meh… I got over it quickly.

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  • Liddlelady

    Where do I begin. Living in the U.K it is something that I experience on a regular basis. I don’t quite understand when black people say that they have never encountered racism. Anyway one of my early memories is wen I was about 8 in school and we had to write a report about what we wanted to be when we got older. I remember at the time I wanted to be a photographer. My Teacher threw my book at me and said ‘Don’t be so stupid, Name the type of factory that you would like to work in.’ I was so heartbroken. I went home and told my mum. She was livid and told me not to bother doing another report because I was not being true to myself by writing a faulse one.

  • Mzdiscreet

    Act of racism… Where should I begin..In 2006 fresh out the military I began working as 911 dispatcher. I recieved this call from caucasian male regardinga suspicious person in his office building. As required I asked the caller to give as much info about this person to pass on the responding officers. The caller stated well he is colored about 6ft blue shirt and dark pants with those snake looking things in his hair.remaining cool I repeated what he said using the terms African American and twist. he became outraged saying I guess ur colored too as he scream more racial.terms.. with the saying in mine of revenge is the best dish served cold…I dispatch my neareest blacks officers to the call. Turns out the guy the caller describe wasmt suspicious at all. he was New hire to company in which the caller new supervisor:)

  • maggie

    I moved to Arizona 2 years ago for medical school.  I can’t tell you how many ‘verifying’ questions I get when I tell white people I am going to medical school.  ”so you want to be a nurse?” or “so want do you want to be?” as if I am exaggerating the name of a technical school I am attending.  I don’t think I would get those questions if I was a white woman.  It would be automatically understood that I was going to be a doctor.  Annoying.

    • Golden_standard

      I UNDERSTAND. I’m went to a predominately white college and around graduation when everybody talked about what their plans were WHENEVER I told white people that I was going to law school instead of “congratulations” or “where” they ALWAYS asked “have you been accepted?”

  • Msmykimoto2u

    I remember going to get gas one day and I was paying with my debit card. Well, the way my bank works is that you have to have a certain limit on your card to pay at the pump and I was like $5 short that limit so I had to swipe it inside. When I asked the (white) cashier is she could put $20 on my pump she very rudely said; “We dont accept EBT.” So I raised an eyebrow and said “Ok……?” Like what is your point of telling me that? Then she had this stupid “Oh, crap…” look on her face and said “Oh, well I was just letting you know”.  Like because I’m black you automatically assume I’m on foodstamps? No one in my family has been on foodstamps, ever!

    • Nitty

      There are more white folks on food stamps than black folks..

  • Bri

    The first time I experienced rascims wascg, I was 17. It was the day I got my first car which was the same day Michael Jackson died. Anywhoo I was soo excited and decided to go to jack n da box with my older brother younger sis. While in the drive thru I was ordering and all of the sudden I hear my siblings yell my name and and telling me to go. When I looked over to the right, there was two white men ( one had a swastika tattoo) aggressively walk towards my car and the came from nowhere. Needless to say I hauled azz out that drive thru screaming and shaking like a slore in church. And we were the only ones in the parking lot at 10:00 pm

  • Jonesca24

    I’ve encountered racism a lot in my 26 years. I grew up going to predominantly white schools and felt the sting of racism often. Going down the halls at school many white people would walk around with their confederate flags hanging out their back pockets, “go back to Africa n words” would be written on the bathroom walls, and many other examples. I’ve also experienced racism from other races other than white. I was hanging with my 2 friends (1 white and 1 hispanic) and the guy my Hispanic friend liked was really drunk and disrespectful to her. I was vocal about how I did not like the way she was being treated, but not in a disrespectful way. He then asks my white friend in spanish why she hung out with me. But he used a specific word when talking about me and her face was in complete shock when he asked. I asked her what he said and she told me he said something that was equivalent to the n word. That night ended pretty bad. And another experience I’ve had is with my husband’s family. He is Filipino and so his sister has pretty much disowned him and was very clear that it was because I’m black. His mother was open about how she did not want him with a black girl because of the typical stereotypes. She came around after I became pregnant with her grandson and he told her she would never be allowed to come around until she got her act together. She did and she and I talk often now. 

    • Nitty

      Alot of hispanics forget that they are black
      i have this older woman friend from the Dominican Republic who refers to herself as ‘us white people’ when she talks.
      I laugh..poor baby

  • Empress123

    Well I live up North and have experienced the worst type of racism: SUBTLE racism! Yes I have experienced the more blatant as well (someone yelled the n word and spat at the car when my mother and I were driving home one day). I went to elementary school with mostly black kids and the closest I came to a racist moment was when the black boys in the school beat up a little homely white boy in the bathroom. As a child I didn’t have much exposure to white people. However when I went to a predominantly white High School it was a different story. They were very sneaky with it and if you didn’t pay attention you wouldn’t know what was going on. I would notice that the Black boys would get picked on by the teachers alot more. The white girls were always talking slick about our hair but would smile in your face if they thought you were listening. Black children would get expelled, suspended, detention, reprimanded quicker. It was nuts! I’ve had to set quite a few white and asian people straight but with class. There is a way to do that and the racist ones are so slow they don’t even realize it until you have already left lol

    Racism is alive and well and some will deal with it passively but that has never been me. I don’t have a problem letting any racist know that I know they are not superior to me in ANYWAY and that is because I know my history and don’t believe HIS STORY ;)

  • Mrs. T

    I’m married my husband is white.  So, our daughter is bi-racial.  The comments that people say about my daughter are absolutely ridiculous.  I can remember hearing, when I was pregnant, “You know they say the darker the Mama the lighter the baby.”  Okay, eye-roll and wtf?  Then I’ve heard, “Oh, your daughter’s hair is so curly like a brillo pad.”
    We are a military family.  So, I also get this question too, “Where did you two meet?”.  Like he rescued me from a hood somewhere.  And I even had a (white) girl in my neighborhood text me one night and ask me what the difference was between a “Nigg*r” and a “Nigga”.  I was totally shocked.  I mean am I the spokesperson for my race?  After I told her ignorant self to Google it, she backpeddled saying “Oh my friends and I were listening to rap music and we were trying to figure it out. I didn’t mean any harm.”  I was left trying to figure out if she was trying to push my buttons or if she was that clueless.  No one can be that damn stupid.  So yes, racism exists.  It’s everywhere.  It will never end.  And the sad part is dealing with hate from within our own race.  Being interracially married does not mean that I do not love my blackness.  I do.  I own my heritage and I love every bit of it.  I love my husband and daughter for who they are not what they are.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Peters/100001095828466 David Peters

      Attitude much? “Where did you two meet” is not an accusation he rescued you from the hood and why are brillo pads offensive? People of African descent generally have dark curly hair. So what? Why take offense when people notice attractive features like dark skin or curly hair and compliment them, especially when they are on a beautiful baby everybody is cooing over?

      Also, unless something changes in rap music in the next decade or so you can expect many texts on your daughter’s phone with this offensive word which is common vernacular among young African Americans. Your answer was a good one though but IMHO your friend was being clueless- and yes people are that stupid, especially after listening to that word 200 times in every “song.”

  • FromUR2UB

    I grew up in the SF bay area, and managed to experience racism at different times there.  I’m amazed that a person of color would never have experienced racism anywhere else.  But many of you are considerably younger, so it’s possible you never experienced it, or more likely, it was so subtle you didn’t recognize it.  I’m reminded of a couple of black childhood friends, of whom I was their only black friend.  One of them had such an…affection, for whites, that she never perceived any racism even when it was blatant.  She always offered another explanation for it.  It was like being friends with a white person, except she wasn’t.

    • A.J.

      I agree; it’s still a little strange to me to hear that no one has experienced racism.  You bring up a great point about perception.  I wonder how many people actually have been victims of unacceptable behavior, but either tried to explain it away, ignore it, or it was so covert that they weren’t able to recognize it.

    • Empress123

      Trust and believe there are Black people who have experienced it but would never admit it in fair of being told they are pulling the race card or fear any sort of backlash. Sometimes it is subtle too and you just have to be a perceptive person to know what is going on. If your head is already in the clouds you won’t realize it. These are the same people who get robbed by the same friend over and over again because they just don’t want to admit their friend might be a thief. I have seen that quite a few times…

  • Sherrineb1930

    In high school, I was selected by my Home Ec. instructor to participate in a “model search” for a well known Atlanta agency. Needless to say, I was the ONLY African American. The beautiful waiting room was like someone’s rich French Provencial parlor, filled with cute to pretty white girls and me. When I was called in for my interview there were still several girls remaining to be interviewed. After a brief Q & A about my life and future plans, I was told “Thank you dear, but we’re so sorry, we’re not iaccepting anymore girls today; we loved your personality and you’re very well dressed. we will keep your name on our roster. thank you for coming. As I left the interviewers office I shook their hands and thanked them properly. Returning to the waiting room one of the girls, with whom I’d had a very pleasant conversation, asked me why I was leaving, as all those before me were still present. When I quietly told her they weren’t accepting anymore girls, she and a couple others started to get up and leave but were hurriedly told, by the woman who escorted me back to the waiting room, ”no no, you all can stay”, I stood motionless for a moment as it dawned on me what had just happened. The one girl looked at me, seemed to understand, left anyway. My instructor was furious when I told her about it the next day. I was afraid to tell my mother.

  • imahrtbrkbeat

    I absolutely think it’s the worst type of racism when it comes from your own people. I’ve experienced so many times, in particular with my job. Before I moved to another location, there was a woman who HATED me to the core because I am a well-spoken young black woman. The employees she chose to associate with were the ones that were considered “down and bout it” (i.e. – folks with hood tendencies), though she never carried herself in the same respect. She was the type of older black woman that would only associate with people like that in order to make herself feel better about who she is. Anyway, to cut a long story short — everytime I had to help this woman, she would always try and get me fired. No joke. She would lie on me as I was standing right in front of her to my supervisors. This quickly turned into harassment (she almost hit me with her car while walking to lunch one day), and when I was told not to assist her (as this was explained to her), she would say that I refused service. How can I refuse service to you when I am not even in front of you? It grew out of hand, right to the point where she lied about the fact that I refused to provide her with a receipt (this is, of course before I could actually hand it to her because she snatched it out of the printer). Ummm…really? Who has time to do that? 

    The worst of it was when the higher ups, who were actually white, didn’t care to do anything about it. They said that I must remind her of someone that she doesn’t like in her life. That was their solution. They refused to do anything about the situation, and to even reason to the lady, who continued to harass me until I got to a new location. 

    Double racism at its finest!

    • Didshereallygothere

      God is my witness you’re right!!!! Try being petite (125 lbs, in my 30s w/TWO kids so you KNOW!); long hair (not permed or weaved); with light skin and eyes! “Nobody knows de trouble I seen……but God!” In corporate America, I had one of your sorry-a$$ co-workers who had the same hang-ups. And she was overweight. I may as well have been giving her husband a nude lapdance to DARE to eat a sweet in the breakroom. Oh well. Jill Scott knows how we feel. #HateonMeHatahs!!!!#

    • FromUR2UB

      I don’t think I would classify this as racism.  Was she feeling threatened by you, in an evironment where she wanted to be the standout?  Very likely.  Jealousy? Yes.  An attempt at sabotage?  Definitely.

      Though some blacks view other blacks as their only competition, I’d say race was not the major driver in her behavior.  She targeted you because she may have thought you were the standard against which she would be compared.  It would be much easier for her to shine if you weren’t around.  That’s really a different dynamic, than mere racism on her part.  There is some truth in the reason that was offered for her treatment toward you, because it sounds like it had more to do with her, than you.  Unbeknownst to you, maybe you did remind her of a time when she felt inadequate.

      The fact that “higher ups” chose not to do anything could have been racism because the two people involved were black, but it was probably more indifference, or could have just been a testament to their laziness, because management usually doesn’t like to do anything about conflicts between employees unless they have to.  What motivates them to do something is when you use particular language that they understand could mean trouble for them if they don’t handle it, such as “hostile workplace environment”.  There’s a whole federal law about that and they know it.  But the downside of that is, you’d probably better be ready to get a new job when you begin challenging them in that way, because then you’d become labeled as a troublemaker.  Transferring to a new location was your best solution.

  • Rachael

    My family member worked in a bakery- in the white section of town- while in highschool just to earn extra money.  He and his friends who were mostly white had all gotten jobs there and they loved working together. My nephew asked the GM if he could work up front every now and then so he could make extra money. (Cashiers and Customer Service made more money then the stock crew.) The GM  told him that since this was a white area (Hamilton) the majority of the customers were not colored and may be offended by a back person working up front. This was in 2001 people! And this is the same family member who ONLY dated white girls. He seemed crushed. He stopped going to work there and a few of his friends eventually quit as well.

    • Barnes4975

      Well rachael this coincides with my post earlier he still got played and he probably has negative things to say about black women

    • Nitty

      Is he still dating the white gals?

  • Mls2698

    I remember being twenty (a while back), newly married, and my husband was from Cleveland. He was used to the life of a big city, but we lived in small military town. The city of Virginia Beach was just 10 minutes away (never frequented the area), and my husband (divorced now) wanted to see some of the tourist sites. Reluctantly, I decided we could just cruise a main drag, but I didn’t want to get out because the whites there seemed biased (college spring break used to be there) and we have had our share of stories. Anyway, as we were driving down a street a little less traveled, these young white guys drove up next to us and yelled “ni88er.” We just looked at them without a reaction or a word. I think freedom of speech is great in this country because at least I know who has a potential to be harmful toward me by being totally vocal. Also, the word ni88er means ignorant, which would fit any person including those guys in that car.

    • Jonesca24

      I’ve lived in VA Beach all my life and yes there is a lot of racism here. Dealt with it a lot in my life. My friends (1 white and 1 black) were sitting in the parking lot of Taco Bell late one night when a car pulls up full of white guys. You could hear them laughing and talking to each other while looking in our car. Then one calls my friend a n word lover out loud to get a reaction out of us. When we responded, they quickly sped off. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/RosarioRed Rosario Stefania Scarsci

    I know many other non whites have a track record of being unkind to blacks, but for some reason I really really dislike white people, and I DEFINITELY do not trust them. Whenever I am on the train I try not to sit next to one so I search for a seat near a black person or an empty one. If I’m unlucky, I just sit distantly or stand. Just don’t like dealing with them if I don’t have to. At work I try not to talk to too many non blacks/whites. 

    • Jinski13

      Wow…sounds like racism. :-( its another sign of why it will never be done. Why dislike someone over skin color and go so far out of your way to avoid them because they’re WHITE?! knowing nothing but that small fact? That’s madness.

      • xmissmimix

        It’s not racism. It’s discrimination. You cannot be RACIST towards White people.

    • Tagirl

       Why treat someone like that  based on the color of their skin when you know how it feels?

    • Empress123

      I’ve come across quite a few ignorant ones that made me want to just isolate myself from all of them but everyone is different I guess. I mean how many times is a white person going to ask me if my hair is fake, or if I live in the bad part of town, or assume I am not educated, or refer to my male friends as ‘da brothers’ or assume I don’t have money for something, or assume I have never traveled off my block, or asked me to hook her up with a ‘black guy’ or tell me how they hate going to a certain mall because of all the thugs etc. ANNOYING!

    • jewel

      This is racist!

      • xmissmimix

        It’s discrimination, it’s not racism.

  • Tagirl

    I’m from the south and have a many stories to choose from, unfortunately. Here’s one. I boycotted Red Lobster for several years because they discriminated against my friends and I(6 blacks and 5 Puerto Ricans) at my birthday celebration. Other white patrons who came in well after us had sat down, eaten and left before we even got our drinks. The manager and the waiter were extremely. They acted like they had a problem with giving us an extra table that we requested, and even snatched a basket of rolls from one of us. One of my friends got so upset at their treatment of us that she walked outside. I then went outside to calm her down. The manager came to the table with walk-out papers accusing me of leaving without paying. She called security and all. We paid and left a tip(which I regret til this day) then left. Basically, by the end of the night, everyone was in tears. We were only teens.

    After our parents went down there and/or spoke to them over the phone, the manager admitted what she did and the next day the GM called me. I didn’t set foot in another Red Lobster for 5 years.

    • Tagirl

       *The manager and the waiter were extremely rude and nasty.

    • Tagirl

       *The manager and waiter were extremely rude and nasty.

    • Mls2698

      I was watching a story on the history channel about the KKK, and they said there was four million active members in the 1920s, and a large number of them were republican leaders. Do you think all of them are dead by now? Or have they raised their children and grandchildren to be Grand Wizards?

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/David-Peters/100001095828466 David Peters

        Sorry, the KKK was run by Southern DEMOCRATS although that was a nice try slipping that in. You may also recall it was the Republicans who ended slavery and it was the Republicans who voted in greater numbers for the civil rights acts in the 1960′s. Bull Connor was a Democrat.

        • AllDay

          Sorry, you forgot to mention that the roles were reversed back then. The Democrats back then behaved as the Republicns do now. You know there was a role reversal of he parties overr time. I know, you thought you would slip that in and no one would notice. I get it….nice try.

        • AllDay

          Sorry, you forgot to mention that the roles were reversed back then. The Democrats back then behaved as the Republicns do now. You know there was a role reversal of he parties overr time. I know, you thought you would slip that in and no one would notice. I get it….nice try.

    • Mls2698

      Moderators got me. Klan had four million members in the 1920s. Where are they now?

    • Nitty

      Don’t regret your tip.
      What you did was right
      What they did is wrong
      you killed em’ with kindness..
      Set yourself free..

  • A.J.

    I remember one time when I was at the optometrist’s office with my mom.  I was about 11 or 12, and as soon as we signed in and sat down, this older white dude just sneered at us with shock and disgust, as if how dare we enter an office in “his” neighborhood.  My mom told me to ignore him (unless he said something or walked over to us, at which point she would have hurt him). I went to hang up my coat in the little closet, and unwittingly put it next to his.  Almost as soon as I went to sit back down, he jumped up, snatched his coat down from off the rack, andd brought it back to his seat, like he didn’t want them to touch.   SMH. 

  • L-Boogie

    First time, I experienced racism was in kindergarten.  I went to a Lutheran school not too far from my home.  However, in this particular neighborhood skin heads were a problem.  However, one passed me and pointed his finger at me as if indicate I might come up missing.  I am glad my parents transferred me.

  • Smacks_hoes

    I read a few of the stories and then I stopped mainly because it’s unbearable clicking through that many pages!! I live in the south and contrary to popular belief I have yet to feel the sting of racism. When I was younger I used to read about racist incidents online and whatnot and I would get so hurt by it! Now being a 20 year old woman I have come to the conclusion that life Is not perfect. People are going to dislike me wheather it be because my skin color, my attitude, the way I speak, personality, and etc. There is really nothing I can do about that so why would I even stress myself. Racism will never die no matter how many years pass. I just pray for the ignorant and just keep moving on with my life.

    • A.J.

      Well, you’re definitely an exception.  No one has said anything remotely racist to you, either in an overt or covert manner?

      • Smacks_hoes

        Nope not at all…and I went to mostly white schools all my life.

    • Ladybug94

      The closest I’ve come to experiencing racism would have to be a former boss of mine who seemed like he didn’t like black or women (regardless of color).  Other than that, I can’t say that I have.  I grew up a military brat and moved post to post and was always around different races and ethnicities here in the states and overseas.  I guess that’s probably why I get bothered so much by the hate I see and read about each day.

    • LB

      I completely agree with you.  I grew up in the south and the only racism that I have experienced has come from being in grad school in Illinois and in Connecticut.  I went to a convenient store during my lunch break and asked how much the sandwiches cost.  The white clerk told me they don’t take food stamps.  I put my debit card and left.  I was shocked.

      • Jbell82101

        You should have asked for the manager and got his/her behind fired.

  • GUEST

    An act of racism i faced was last year. As a college student I went to have a meeting with my new advisor (who was a Caucasian woman), and when saw me, she looked slightly shocked and seemed to force a smile. She looked at her roll and said my name, I’m assuming since my name may have “sounded white” to her she was expecting a white woman. We were discussing my career goals and out of no where she asks “So what does your parent do?”. I was intrigued as why she wanted to know what my parents did being that this meeting was about ME!, not my parents.  

    • hm!

      The question is, why did this counselor assume you had just one parent? 

      • Smacks_hoes

        How does that even count as racism?

        • Candacey Doris

           Because a lot of people assume that all black people come from one parent families. It’s more negative stereotyping than racism, but it counts.

    • mochaaa

      they also like to TELL you (not ask) that you’re the first in your family to go to college smh. American universities i tell ya

      • Heather

        Yes! I graduated second at my college and was the school Salutatorian, I wanted to slap the white Valedictorian who out of nowhere congratulated me on being the first person in my family to graduate from college. Both my parents are college grads!

  • WanderingDreamer

    Contrary to what many people of color believe in a post-racial society.  That will never be!  No matter how desperately you want it so.  As long as there are people no matter what color, there will be racism.

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