“Ask A Black Man” Episode 3: The SEX Episode [EXTENDED CUT]

April 11th, 2012 - By Madame Noire

Here is the extended cut of Episode 3 from Ask A Black Man, just like we promised! In this version, you can expect to see more questions asked, as well as more discussion between our panelists. This is The Sex Episode, so expect the discussion to be a little racy.

As always, please be respectful of each other and the men in the comments. Thanks in advance!

MORE ASK A BLACK MAN:

FOLLOW-UP INTERVIEWS:

MEET THE “ASK A BLACK MAN” CAST

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Comment Disclaimer

Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN

Snarkychic243

Wednesdays are a happy spot in the middle of my week because of this web series. Keep up the great work. I enjoyed listening to the responses from all of the men even the ones I gave a side eye to. And I’m not sure why some ladies are not digging Marco…seems like a fun dude and a cutie.
- MarcoG
  
  Thanks so much Snarkychic243.
BCBG_GRL

showin more luv from the ASIAN PersuASIAN!!! lol
Dee

They are against the 90day rule and Marco said, “I’m not big on rules.” BUT, they have rules about the number for the woman. Marco also said, “her number needs to be lower than mine.” Is that not a rule? How do these men expect the woman to keep the number down if she’s having sex every month with someone new or on the 3-5 meet. Some women “wait” to get a feel for where the relationship is going so that they don’t share their bodies with everyone that took them out to dinner a few times only to be a “friend” or a “boo” or insert whatever other term instead of girlfriend/woman/lady. If a woman has sex with the majority of the men they date, then the number racks up. If she waits until a relationship is established or 90 days, she has too many rules. Seems as though women are damned if they do and damned if they don’t.
- MarcoG
  
  What’s up Dee? I think the lines between rules and preferences are getting crossed a little bit. When I said that I would’nt want my girls number to be bigger than mine, that to me was expressing a preference of mine. I think what person chooses to do is fine…wheter they wait to be intimate with a person or not. As long as they are not making it feel like it’s a “rule” that I have to abide by no matter what. If that’s the case I think you’ll find yourself cfocusing more on the rule than the person. You never know, if you find “the one” I’d hope that all rules would go out the window.
http://twitter.com/ConverseWMSis Joyce Okoth

Definitely the best in the series. Panama’s side eyes killed me! His response to why men cheat was as succinct and real as you’ll ever hear. Marco is a hottie – love the smile. Can’t wait for the next episode.
hellogoodmorning

i love ask a black man that is the funniest s**t everrrrrr..r..r..r.r.r..r.r…. oh lester and panama are my favorite and marco is hot …
- MarcoG
  
  Thank you Hellogoodmorning.
Tynesha Craven

This was really good, totally enjoyed it!
NegRican24

Dear Madame Noire,

I would like to be on Ask a Black Woman. I have alot of responses to these videos and the way alot of these guys are answering the questions. I look forward to someone from your site contacting me soon.

Thank You
- http://lizburr.com Liz
  
  We do not have plans for that series, sorry!
NegRican24

YES! Men it is better to give than to receive, that’s why i love a man who looooooooooves to please. Mm mm mm.
BCBG_GRL

Marco looks good
- MarcoG
  
  Thank You luv.
BCBG_GRL

interesting! sex toys? sexual orientation? how about any (baby-makin) music 2 put a pair in the mood like R. Kelly or somethin!? lol. favorite sexual position? best place 2 have/had sex? fetishes? lol =)
Janet2gees

THIS ONE WAS FUNNY!!!!!HURRY UP WITH EPISODE 4!!!!!!
AlissaLynne

This was an eye-openiing experience to hear what men have to say about women. To each his or her own about the opposite sex. What’s most important is the character of an individual and how they can be supplemental to you in your life instead of taking away from it.
http://twitter.com/panamajackson Panama Jackson

Bad sex just tends to be boring. I mean its still worth having for us men, but its not something you want for the long haul. When you’re with a woman who makes it seem like a chore to be having sex with you, its a turn off. Yeah, we’re getting some, but we could be doing something else to enjoy ourselves instead of havign sex with somebody who would ALSO rather be elsewhere.
- Dear_Heart
  
  I’m glad the topic for today was sex because now everyone can see why it’s so important as a whole in any relationship. If they been around and you aint feeling it, you have the option to dip before it gets too deep and if the sex is great among other things, they could be a potential spouse. I’m not knocking anyone that chooses to wait til marriage (or 90 days lmbo) but if we aint clicking in the bedroom or where ever we choose, I aint accepting that til death due us part.
- Gye Nyame
  
  Thanks for the clarification…no one wants boring sex, man or woman.
- http://moacn.wordpress.com/ Sir Farouk
  
  Just to piggy back off that, I think bad sex is when you would rather be masturbating than having sex with the said person. Its so boring that you think to yourself, I ll probably have fun jacking off and watching some pron.
Mel

I just wanted to say that I am loving this series and I thought tonight’s episode was hilarious! It was great to see all of the panelists being so open and honest. I can’t understand all the Marco haters cuz I am loving his look and his swag and as a follower of vsb I always love to hear Panama’s opinion. Kudos to Liz and the MadameNoir team!
- MarcoG
  
  Appreciate the luv Mel!
Stasi

First of all, Why is everyone tripping about Marco!!? I seriously appreciated all of the panel’s opinion (even though I have/had some hang-ups about Lester because of his orientation (You like men.), but alas) especially Marco’s! I met him at an event he coordinated, and he was VERY YUMMY, and so sweet even though he didn’t know me!!

Anyway, I LOVE THIS SERIES. LOVE. As echoed by some others commenting, I just wish that we had gotten some more specific questions – We need an “Ask a Black Man” Sex 2. Questions like What turns you off during sex? What constitutes as GREAT sex? What do women do that make them irresistible? Things like that.

I am now a follower of MadamNoire. I hadn’t been a visitor but now I make sure to browse at least twice a day!

God bless to all my ladies still out here in the struggle and thank you MadamNoire and the gorgeous men that are helping us!!
- amthomp7
  
  I appreciate Lester’s honesty, on all matters. Marco, uhm yes!
  - MarcoG
    
    Thank you Amthomp7.
- MarcoG
  
  Thanks a lot Stasi. If you scroll up a little bit, Luvbnblk answered a similar question that Gye Nyame asked. I think he answered it very well. I responded a little to her question also. Thanks again for the compliment luv. Where did we meet and What was the event?
http://twitter.com/Knesha TaKnesha

This series is quickly becoming one of my favs! I can’t stop laughing…thanks for the mid-day giggles!
TK

I love the extended cut! Hilarious!!!! Great job guys!
Inglewood Hustle

Lester’s SMILE!!!!! LMAO!

Had to rewind it several times to see it again. Oh man! That smile is hilarious! LMAO! Priceless!
Gye Nyame

I must say that after watching the first 2 episodes I was relieved that I’m a married woman and no longer needed to wade in the single’s pool, but episode 3 was refreshing and hilarious. Marco’s story of his “letting go” had me crying. But I wish the host asked a very important follow up question that I will now pose to the men on the panel. She asked would you let a woman know if the sex was bad? But what I really want to know is what constitutes as “bad sex” for a man? I was always under the impression that for men sex is like pizza, even the worst pizza is still edible… lol. Even men that were not on the panel pls feel free to enlighten me.
- http://lizburr.com Liz
  
  Def a good follow up question!
- LUVBNBLK
  
  Bad sex for me usually comes from “expert” who think that KNOW what I want and don’t understand queues or requests. Also, a woman who “dead-fishes” or acts like a blow-up doll. We are share ourselves with each other, even casually that should mean something, go in and have fun. And don’t act like your maidenhood is a scooby-snack, we are giving as much as you are (often times more). Sexual half-steppers are also whack, a half-stepper is someone who doesn’t perform with a whole heart. I guess you can compare it to some begrudgingly “eating the peach”.
  My theory for the reason why most men don’t complain about “bad” sex is because we usually take ownership of our pleasure, too many women (not all of you) expect a man to GIVE them the big “o” when in reality he’s only sharing it with you. Think about it, can a man force you to have an orgasm, then how can he really “give’ you one. We certainly assist on getting you there, but you hold the GPS to your “petite mort”.
  
  Hope that this was helpful
- LUVBNBLK
  
  Bad sex for me usually comes from “experts” who think that KNOW what I want and don’t understand or take queues or requests. Also, a woman who “dead-fishes” the action; we are sharing ourselves with each other, even casually that should mean something, go in and have fun. Another annoying thing, please don’t act like your sex is a scooby-snack, a good man is giving as much as you are (often times more). Sexual half-steppers are also whack, a half-stepper is someone who doesn’t perform with a whole heart. I guess you can compare it to a man begrudgingly eating the peach. It takes away from the act.
  My theory for the reason why most men don’t complain about “bad” sex is because we usually take ownership of our pleasure, too many women (not all of you) expect a man to GIVE them the big “o” when in reality he’s only sharing it with you. Think about it, can a man force you to have an “O”, then how can he really “give’ you one. We certainly assist on getting you there, but you hold the GPS to your “petite mort”.
  
  Hope that this was helpful
  - Gye Nyame
    
    Thanks, it was very helpful. Although I find it kinda sad that a woman would behave that way in bed b/c it says something about her. Either she doesn’t really want it, she’s afraid she may be judged if she lets her inner “freak” out, or she’s not comfortable with her body and/or sexuality. I think that’s what’s really at the root of it, and even though I’ve never suffered from any of the above, I can imagine it would be hard to really enjoy the experience with that hanging over you.
    - LUVBNBLK
      
      Thx for being open and honest in asking Gye. I think that “traditionally” most women come at sex with an fractured mind set and its mostly the paternalistic social “norms” are to blame. But, time have changed and now women need to “own” there own sexuality. I’m not saying to sleep around or objectify men, but to understand your own personal sexiness. I found that many women don’t even understand the power that breathing and muscle flexing play in achieving orgasm -SMH. RE: fear of the the inner freak, you’d be surprise on how many men are open to toys, role reversal, role play, etc (with the right woman). I found that a “bullet” is a smart man’s best friend. Personally, I hold the line at “probing” and multiple partners (of any gender). I’m greedy and focused, I don’t need distractions :D.
- MarcoG
  
  Thank you Gye Nyame! I think the homie Luvbnblk answered the question very well. I definitely agree with what he said. If me and a lady decide to share ourselves with each other sexually. I want there to be no inhibitions. I believe Luvbnblk was absolutely right in saying that a lot of women don’t realize how important breathing and muscle flexing play in getting off…
  Also, for me a woman’s hygiene is very important. I feel like I have an extra keen sense of smell…lol With that being said… If a lady is’nt fresh…the sex is automatically bad, and I’m forced to not give my total effort…I’ve even faked it before so it could be over. Damn, damn! Keep in mind though anything that I would ask or even expect of my partner she should definitely expect to have at the very least the same thing in return.
- http://twitter.com/KikiAdoreMe Kiki Max
  
  oh please, i hate “smug marrieds” … how happy is yo marriage? yo man prolly got a chick on the side u dont even know abt
  - kia
    
    so true, in the world of today, not even a married woman should be cocky that she’s reached the finish line
Skyla

Loving the series. I would like to see a ladies version as well. Keep it up!

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