Filth Flarn Filth: Alternatives to the Cuss

August 16, 2010  |  

Legend has it that Bill Cosby never said the infamous phrase “Filth flarn filth” as Eddie Murphy claims in his classic stand-up movie Raw, but we parents know that sometimes, just sometimes, nothing will do but a curse.

We also know that we’re raising little sponges who repeat everything they hear. Yes, every now and then you let one slip, but we know better than to be swearing mamas and surely don’t want to end up on that bad ghetto parents list, right Madames?

According to a recent study, swearing provides real relief from physical pain, but if you haven’t stubbed your big toe are you swearing to make a point or to hurt someone’s feelings? Either way, the kids don’t need to use words that rhyme with “truck.”

Or do they? Some parents find it acceptable for children to use four-letter words. The argument: they’re just words or there is no such thing as a “bad word.” But if you’ve ever seen a two-year-old cussing, it’s not cute at all.

So, when you need to yell something and the kids are around, we’ve got some words that may do the trick…or at least make you laugh instead of get mad. I’m a fan of “darn it,” “freak” and “shoot,” but you may want to use something more creative, like:

1. Fiddlesticks

2. Fraggle Rock

3. Phooey

4. Crayola

5. Sam Jackson

6. What the LL Cool J?!

7. Shamalama

8. Fudge

9. Mother Hubbard!

10. Dagnabbit

What do you say instead of cussing in front of the kids?

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