Some Men Don’t Like Being Put In a “Sex Box”

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August 18, 2010 ‐ By SisterToldja

Let’s take a break from the “how-to-give-head” talk for a second. On some happy occasions, I have witnessed mutual desire for a relationship between a man and a woman, i.e. “we’re grown, we have needs, sex is too awesome to wait until you are spoken for to get some!”  However, on a handful of occasions I have either experienced or observed the disappointment of women who have found out that a man with whom they craved a relationship, was only looking for a sex partner.

That story is far too common, so I wonder what would happen if roles were reversed. How would men react to being placed in a ‘sex box’? I asked a few fellas and thought I would share their responses with you:

“It all depends on how I feel about the girl. I don’t ever put her in the ‘Slore’ category. Sadly, I may not be the best person to talk to about this. Almost all the chicks I’ve started something with later on tried to be my girl-even when I was clear from the jump. But I think it all depends on my feelings for the chick. For me, its such a rarity (usually they want more) I think I’d be just fine with it.”- Malik, age 35

“What world do you live in where this happens? TAKE ME THERE!! cuz shittttt, I aint eva EVA met a girl that just wanted to sip the kool aid but not chill with the pitcher… EVA!!!” -Joseph, age 32

“I think it’s great. I’ve been there for years at a time when it suited my purposes mutually with “hers” and its amazing.  Never any disrespect at all on either part.  We could enjoy a meal or not.  I will say that these situations are fragile at times, because feelings do tend to creep in.  Maybe that’s why the French only do it between two married people…”-Yusef, age 34

“I’d be cool with it for the most part, but I’d also be leery of her true feelings and motives. In the instances that I’ve been in like this one it has always turned out one of two ways: she’s either lying like Shyte about not liking me and trying to finagle her way into a relationship or she’s trying to play me for her side piece. Now I do have a different approach for either situation. If she likes me, I’m still going. I’ll just push it as far as I can until I reach the point of no return where it just becomes irresponsible for me to continue knockin’ boots with her.

I don’t give her the “Slore side-eye” in either situation. Wanting to have sex with someone doesn’t make you a Slore. If she’s playing somebody, she will get the “bad person side-eye” though. That Shyte is not cool. If I like her, then I probably will try and prevent myself from having sex with her on the grounds that I dont want to catch feelings. And I don’t feel cheapened. I feel like I’m about to get a nut-off”- Robert, age 24

“Calling someone a Slore is a reflection of ones own sexual repressions and inequities. I have been in a situation where I was the 1 a.m. booty call and it was an understanding between two very busy people. An honest and emotionally intelligent person will be able to decipher if he is able to be in this kind of relationship or not. If the situation started to transition from just a purely sexual thing, I would have let her now, so we could end it or move toward something deeper. When we lie to ourselves and others there is “drama””- Manuel, age 30

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