I feel ya! It seems like ‘sake of the kids’ means lending them ‘legitimacy’ upon their birth so this double-standardized society can extend their b.s. ‘stamp of approval’ since Mamma ‘had a ring on it’ in the Labor/Delivery ward. 
Oprah…is my Hero. I…..am a ‘sorta widow’ [fiance abruptly passed shortly before marriage]. At 31, with 2 school-aged kids whom I must protect from the scary variety of sociopath predators known in alarming proportions to target “my type”, I’m okay with ‘doing it myself’.  I’m well on my way to being well-known (and well-paid).
It’d take a hell of a fella willing to comply with the terms of my pre-nup, me hyphenating my last name, and pursuing my professional prospects with all that comes with the territory—-not to mention having to accept that his suppertime cravings ( ergo; Personal Chef) and ‘baby stay in bed’ [1st thing in the morning] would not be my 1st priority if my kids’ or career-related interests require my immediate attention.  Many man are inherently insecure; which is why these double standards in marriage have been passed down to make em feel like somethin. I have little patience left after all I’ve endured in 31 years to acquiesce to all dat!
If I need a diamond on my finger that badly; I’ll buy me one!