The New Dating Norms: 6 Big Changes in the Dating Game

April 10, 2012 ‐ By Rachel Louissaint

In a few short years, there have been some major adjustments to the dating game. I can see the difference in the attitude of women in younger generations compared to mine. They have much more of a,  “I want him and I am going to get him” type of attitude. Back in the day, when you liked someone, you kind of played it off until he let on that he was he feeling the same way. But nowadays, women are much more aggressive, and it is clearly the era of the “go-getter.” My mother’s generation viewed women with this “go- getter” mentality with less than pleasant eyes, but today, the women who go for what they want are growing in numbers, and they’re getting respect and the guy for being so bold. Yep,  the times have changed and so has the dating game. Here are a few examples:

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  • Tcleckley

    Ok…this has to be the dumbest article I ever read on dating…If you go by the article, a woman doesn’t even need a man if she has to pursue & do everything by herself….Ridiculous….

  • Monety17

    I have to disagree with a lot of ladies on this post; I personally think the post is being directed to the INDEPENDANT “Go-Getter” of 2012. Now a days women can do and take care of themselves without worrying if the man is the “breadwinner” or even if she wants to have a night to let loose and do her own thing without worrying if she is being judged or LABLED. These scenarios simply touch on how its 2012 things are different now.  So many women are living in a comfort zone. There is nothing wrong with exploring, and trying new things. Now that’s not saying don’t keep it classy. Know that you will be respected above ALL and have self worth. There is a huge difference between being a hoe and stepping outside the box.

  • Analyst

    I personally don’t  believe in ALOT of this. We’re doing all this stuff that takes the pressure off men but what are THEY doing to take the pressure off us? We’re the breadwinnder, make the first move, have sex on the first date etc but what steps are men taking to make OUR life easier. I think this is such nonsense.

  • LaylaAjmine

    I dislike this article. Old school dating have some respect for yourself. I thought it was he who finds a wife not run a guy down. If a man can’t have a simple conversation yet text you he is not mature. I say just remain a lady and respect yourself and demand it from men.

  • RahTruth

    These are sad and desperate. Being “easy” and throwing yourself at a man is not ok no matter the decade. Let a man be a man.

  • Advine3

    I amwas glad toto seefurther that so many responders have already stated, this is a sad and fictitious way to secure a relationship. In a heterosexual relationship the lady should be persued and acquires. If she is doing this what she has done is paid for some man’s affections temporarily (because it wont last) this is UNnatural even in nature with the beasts the male persues the female, thus a traditional heterosexual relationship still yields that the Man should love the Woman enough to die for her & the Woman should Respect him.
    The person writing this article clearly wants to further effeminate Men & make Women even more a source of a hyper-masculine entity that just shy of developing male gonads, less she’s some down-trodden, desperate female who will do anything to have a man (even if he doesn’t love or value her because she’s not allowing him to exercise his God Given place as being a Man). It really speaks to black women devaluing themselves and Not having a shred of respect for herself…Sad, sin & a shame if someone takes this advice!

  • Thank-you well said.

  • LovelyGal

    yea so this post is about women these days just not giving a damn about morals and such. Im a 90’s baby-but i do what my mother, grandmother and sister has taught/told me. Good men are hard to find and i believe that-and im willing (and want) to wait and take things slowly untill he comes along. He’s not respecting you b/c you “went for what you want” he’s respecting you for not giving a damn. He got the goods w/o a challange. There’s many other ways to be aggressive and assertive w/o giving up your body and proposing. I would NEVER do that-im just to old fashion. Besides if he hasn’t proposed to you yet, then he obvioulsy isn’t ready

  • Shaehatter

    This is a new low for articles directed at black women. This one should be called “If you dont want a quality man then do whats on this list!”  ughh DREADFUL honey smh 

  • Guest

    Madame Noire, when will you learn that having adolescent-minded writers is NOT a glowing recommendation for your website? This article is a pathetic attempt to justify insecurity and ho behavior!

  • Mkp

    I dont believe in the social media hookups manily b/c people portray themselves to be something they are not on these websites. False advertisement.

  • Guest

    So #6. Hmmm….
    As a veteran of the dating game I can honestly say that I’ve never had a black woman who looked like much make the first move. Those who have were all the average looking, overweight, unattractive or non-black women. Pretty sistas may give me the inviting body language and/or the ‘eye’ that will entice me to come and holla but NEVER have they actually kicked things off. I guess that’s making a move indirectly?

  • Guest1234

    Wow.  This list is ridiculous.  I pity any woman who thinks she’s going to find a fruitful relationship by hunting down men, sleeping with them on the first date, accepting texts in place of genuine communication, earning all the money, then getting on her knee to propose to the guy.  This is only going to land you one lazy a$$ knee-gro.  

    Ladies, get a clue and some self-respect.   Don’t ever trust a man who wants a woman to do all of that.  Only a DOG would be okay with this crap.  

    • LovelyGal


      your not gonna get your “Knight & Shinning Armor” doing this bullish. Texting is alright if im to busy to talk or said to text me, but other than that; FOOL-you better stop being a lil boy and call me if you want to communicate. don’t think this is high school



    • Analyst

       Thank you!! Women are doing all this stuff to make life easier for me but what are they doing to make life easier for us! We need to make them WORK for us gaddamit!

  • hmmmm

    “Reminding myself of all the things I had heard my guy friends say, you would think that most men believe that a woman who gives it up that fast can be categorized as being a little bit too friendly. ”

    Just be a ho and be cool with it and stop trying to make it something socially acceptable. Me who sleep with a lot of women dont care what women think, or men for that matter, and they are not trying to make it the new normal in the name of their insecurities. They accept being hoes or dogs. Most heterosexual men who have marriage as a relationship goal subscribe to this rule. Just do you