Vanessa Williams Reveals She Was Sexually Abused By a Woman As a Child

April 5th, 2012 - By Brande Victorian

thebeautyriot.com

Unfortunately, enduring sexual abuse as a child has become a far too common experience for many women but it’s not often that victims reveal their abuser was a woman. Vanessa Williams has opened up about just that in the latest issue of People magazine, and the details of the abuse she endured at the age of 10 are described in her upcoming memoir, You Have No Idea.

Vanessa wrote that she was visiting family friends in California at the time when their 18-year-old daughter, Susan, walked in on her while she was sleeping.

“Susan pulled down the bloomers of my cotton baby-doll pajamas. ‘What are you doing?’ I asked. ‘Don’t worry — it’ll feel good.’ I lay there paralyzed. What was I going to do?”

Vanessa said she kept the incident to herself for several years and it wasn’t until she was in college that she realized she was molested. And although she told People the incident “didn’t paralyze me, and I don’t dwell,” the situation did have a significant effect on her.

“After that trip I felt something change in me,” she wrote. “I had always been defiant but I became a bit more rebellious. I began to pull away from my parents.”

Making sure the same thing didn’t happen to her children, Vanessa said she told them what happened to her so that they knew what signs to look for.

“When my kids have asked about Miss America, those photos, or any other part of my life, I told them what I always tell them — the truth,” she wrote. “After all, it was part of my journey that led me to them and to where I am today.”

Do you think sexual abuse by women often goes unnoticed?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire!

Tags:

, , ,
More from StyleBlazer
More from MommyNoire

Comment Disclaimer

Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN

  • Brianna J. Adams

    I am literally in tears after reading all of the posts. Peace and endless blessings to all those who have shared, you all have so much courage. Again, kudos to Ms.Williams and the commentators; speaking about such tragedies will help others heal.

  • VelvetStaccato

    First of all, my heart goes out to all the commenters who were brave enough to share their own terrible experiences no child should ever have to endure. I can only imagine the guilt, shame, confusion and “baggage” that comes with it and I commend you all for not giving up and realizing your worth, no matter who tried to diminish that. I am equally proud of Vanessa for coming out with her own story. We never think of women as being child sexual predators but we need to open our minds to the fact that they exist just as the men we fear having our children around. It takes a very strong individual to not lets something like that consume them and still have a productive life. I am so grateful (and lucky) that I had decent, moral people in my life whom my single mom could trust with her children. I wish that were the case for us all. 

  • Heavy

    Wow, reading the comments…

    One of my friends works for CPS and she told me that about 40% of the molestation cases she dealt with were women.  I was shocked it was so high.  I, too, was molested by 2 different men.  I will be careful who I allow my children to be around, male or female. 

    FYI to parents, my mother often talked to us about molestion and to tell her if anything happens to us.  But I still didnt tell.  KIDS DONT TALK.  Be diligent parents

  • FergieFerg

    I can relate.  It happened to me as well.  I think I was about 5-7 years of age and she was in her teens.  She was my nanny’s daughter.  I had forgotten about it until I was probably in college.  I was so young that I didn’t know what was going on but deep down inside I knew it was wrong for her to be doing what she was doing to me.  No one knows except my best friend and my husband.  We don’t normally think of the abuser as a woman.  Kudos to Vanessa for having the courage to shed light on this issue.

  • Miss_Understood

    I just want to commend all the commentors that revealed their past traumas. That takes a lot of courage and is a big step in the right direction

  • HUGH KEN SOCKETT

    Now I see more clearly why she did that lesbian-themed, photo spread for Penthouse.  She had developed a taste for that ‘pink-and-puffy.’
     

    • Wordsbydenise

      That is such an insensitive and rude statement to make.

      • HUGH KEN SOCKETT

        You’re right.  I’m sorry.

    • http://www.facebook.com/RosarioRed Rosario Stefania Scarsci

       So when or if you get raped by a man, we’d request you to do a male themed spread. Maybe you’ll feel the same way. Idiot. Go away and die somewhere.

    • Prof.Simmons

      OMG, did you forget that we are talking about the sexual abuse of a child. Your disgustingly jovial demeanor leads me to believe you are a predator or have those tendencies. You may be a great guy that just doesn’t have a vocal sensor, but either way you sound awfully douchy.

    • EDUCATION

       @ The EDITOR—-PLEASE DELETE THE DISGUSTING COMMENT MADE BY HUGH KEN SOCKETT ASAP!!!!

  • Gina

    Wow, It seems as if she has been able to deal with this well. I pray that this will help someone else who is abused come forward and seek help!!

  • Davan Ward

    I am a woman and I was molested by a female baby sitter which is why I have always found if baffling that people find it hard to believe women can be predators. As for myself, after suffering a nervous breakdown some years later, I finally came to terms with all that had happened to me. People have got to be more protective of their children. Predators have no gender. Male or female it does not matter.

  • Violet Flame

    I was sexual abused by a close female relative, I kept it a secret for 26 years. I finally revealed the truth just last year, and later confronted the relative. She never denied it nor did she apologize… she was just shocked that I remembered it. God put it in my heart to release it and it now becomes her burden & shame and no longer mine. I’m free of her and the pain, that leaves me with more room for love, so I’m absolutely happy with that. 

  • Nina Dashotta

    I was molested by my sister’s cousin (her father side). I still have flashbacks of seeing her……stuff. I won’t go into detail but it fueled my bisexuality and made me resent it at the same time. That ish is still hard to process at 28.

  • changing lives

    I was abused by 2 female relatives and the hardest part of it all is that I see my family often. I’ve often wanted to confront them about it as it seems as if it didn’t happen. I know after many years that this somehow impacted me and I have now begun the healing process. I just don’t think they realize how devastating it can be to a young child. And if so, do you apologize or do you even remember? Writing this comment is the 1st time I’m putting it out there and I am really proud to have the courage to do so. No one should suffer in silence and I did so for over 30 years.

  • HONEY LOVE

    I was molested by a woman a well. She was maybe four or five years older. I now have began talking about it. I ened up seeing her at the bowling alley a few years ago but its like i froze. Seeing her there was the first time Ive seen her since the incident.

  • Mizzus_butterworth

    I was molested by a female relative.  The only thing that bothers me is the thought that this act somehow re-calibrated by sexual preferences.

  • 123

    Just do a survey on how many man first experiences were with the baby sitter, and that should tell you all you need to know

    • Sikachu1

      Exactly… That’s 90%. Lol. I’ve heard so many stories like that… Dudes talking about “I been getting it in since I was 7, first time was my baby sitter”. WHAT??! No. You were molested. Period.

Get the MadameNoire
Newsletter The best stories sent right to your inbox!
close [x]