“Ask A Black Man” Episode 2: The Dating Episode [EXTENDED CUT]

April 4, 2012  |  

Here is the extended cut of Episode 2 from Ask A Black Man, just like we promised! You can expect to see more questions asked, as well as more discussion between panelists. We had a good time during the shooting of this series, so we hope you will enjoy the entire conversations as much as we did!





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  • GG

    YES, for the stallion vs donkey theory

  • kia

    when you introduce the men, can they tell us their status, married, single, divorced, dating, etc. we would like to know where their responses are coming from

  • SortOfYoungLady

    Interesting. Like everyone else, I have to tip my hat to Demetrius. Wish more men spoke and thought like you. And to Birch, actually – the answers to these questions might have been silly and off, but there was definitely potential that came off in the interview and comments section. You seem nice, and don’t let anyone tell you that that’s something to be avoided! Devale, you’re pretty. And Jeff, you’re hilarious. 

  • Maryline

    After watching this I’ve realized that men are as bad as women with the relationship talk and rules.

  • Maryline

    Disappointed to see that the intimidation discussion revolved around looks. What about being intimidated by a woman who is smarter, better well rounded, makes more money than you, and or opinionated.

  • lol wow

    you know beyonce’s past?? wtf? who are these people? lol..I think they picked michelle for 2 reasons….she’s FLOTUS, now ask if it was between condaleeza and beyonce.

  • tayo

    idk…I just can’t take these “new school” cats seriously. just my thoughts.

  • Magg

    I actually loved the answer Demetrius gave about interracial relationship, it was absolutely well said.

    • Demetrius

      Peace Magg and thanx love: )!!!

  • Demetrius, thanks for standing up for the sisters on this interracial dating thing.  I believe in ‘love who you love’ but some guys be breakin they necks to get to Becky, and dogging us sisters out. Guess we are better off without them.  I rarely hear brothers speak with understanding on this issue. Thanks again.

    • Demetrius

      My pleasure Queen. Just speakin’ how i feel on some realness !!!

  • newshead12

    This video is everything that is wrong with Black men and American men in general! 

  • theghost917

    where did yall get that silly ninja on the far right???

  • Peaches

    Although Dimitrius gave the best answers and I applaud him on that, I wasn’t tuning in to hear the best answers I was tuning in to hear the truth. This really opened my eyes to alot of things. I learned that men and women are always on different pages. Unless you are blessed to have big brothers you never get an opportunity to hear these conversations. I really appreciate the honesty. Funny thing is that women are on here calling these men “boys” but I have many male friends that speak just like this amongst themselves, then shout a totally different tune when women are around. These same men you are calling “boys” are the same ones that know exactly what to say to get you right where they want you when the time is right. lol. At least we know what they are really thinking now. Thanx MN

  • motorfingaz

    Ugh!!! No wonder the divorce rate is so high and babies born our of wedlock has sky rocketed. Sad listening to these “boys”. Demetrius is the only gentleman on that panel and I would hope my daughter would date.

  • L-Boogie

    This is true. 

  • MzMaryPie2U

    Lol @ First Lady of iHop! But nice episode I enjoyed how the men were open and honest with Kela and came across genuine….Demetrius gave the most well rounded answers but that may be attributed to age difference…good show you all!


    yeah i was bein sarcastic! y ask about W.F. tho? =)

  • Can we get some MEN on this panel and dump these little BOYS?

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  • LiiSH

    I don’t necessarily take a man seriously if he is trying to get some on the first date. If it happens completely naturally is one thing, but if I can feel anywhere in the circumstance that sex is expected or being hinted towards, my mind is made up.I might indulge, but I will keep it moving.

    I haven’t met a man who will not sacrifice a woman having some level of personality, sanity, and general goodness in a situation for the pursuit of what their eyes and/ or penis find attractive. They may learn eventually or fall for a girl by getting to know her, but they are visual creatures.

    If you have never been intimidated by a woman, you just haven’t met the right one. Overall she doesn’t have to make you feel intimidated, but some about her has to take you aback.

    Ain’t nobody’s business if I pay on the first date. NOBODY’S. If I go out with a man its becasue I want to. If I pay it cause I want to. I won’t think less of you unless you make it a habit. Things should be equal.

  • cocochanel31

    Thank you DeVale for your very honest response!! I think its important that men have that time to “do them” outside of a relationship before getting married and us women can’t be mad at that! Your blessed to have had a supportive wife who was there for you when you came back to her ready to be the man she needed and wanted you to be.

     I also really really agreed w ith your points that the times have changed whether we want
    to accept them or not. With the womens liberations movement and birth control
    women have more options and can and do think/act like men. Every woman is not
    the same nor does she want the same things anymore ie.  Husband with 2.5 kids and a white picket
    fence. The sooner people get real with that the better it will be. Not saying
    its right or wrong but it just is. The dating paradigm has definetly shifted
    and that’s why it is important to know how men and women think because one can
    no longer assume whats good for the goose is good for the gandor. I applaud you
    brothas for being transparent and don’t let the haters discourage you for your
    opnions. Most of them are not even worth you wasting your keystroke responding

    • Devale

      It was my pleasure Coco. My wife is my rock. We’ve loved each other, hated each other, liked each other, and despised each other all at the same time. lol. But at the end of the day I would choose no one else to come home to every night. You can tell by my answers and my candor that I at times may not be the easiest person to deal with. YEAH I KNOW I’M A PAIN ;-). But as a man I needed to find a woman that is strong enough to deal with my frankness, encourage me when I can’t find it in myself, and tell me to shut up when she’s tired of hearing me. LMAO. For that I needed a black woman. Black women may come across as angry to some, but men who are looking for a partner in life that will push them toward greatness and be honest at all times when it comes to the family’s well being, find and undeniable strength in black women. It is THE MAN that has to be strong enough to own his place and responsibility in his family and THE WOMAN that has to let him be the man.

      • JT

        Your wife is probably a trohpy wife. She probably doesn’t do anything but have sex with you. I bet she doesn’t work, doesn’t speak, take care of the kids or even cook. You only married her for her looks and the sex. You’re that shallow, and anyone who marries you has to be shallow too. She can’t be worth much if you’d leave her for being barren after all. Let’s no bs here, Deval.

  • Philicia

    I wish there were more Demetrius’ in my age group, but overall I love the honesty of the whole panel. Like Kela said I got a lot of good notes.

  • Just Lissen

    “She’s not gonna be the First Lady if she gets with you… what’s she gonna be the “First Lady of IHOP?””— iDied for real! 
    I think after all of the episodes in the series have finished. There should be a live chat with the panelists and the commentors. That would be interesting.

  • Devale, keeps it real and I love that. It is his opinion and whether you hate it or love it, agree or disagree you cannot deny that he keeps it real.


    * my bad this l8 posting!) Birch,- Waka Flocka? naw :} they still around?! lol.

    • Waka is on tour with Drake o_O

  • Demetrius had to get some panties this weekend because of this show…….

    • Demetrius

      Lol lol lol !!!

  • Gen

     The one who only wants a serious relationship with a woman who agrees to be his baby factory = gross. She needs to be motherly? Why? So she can baby your a**?  Thank God for the new hordes of modern women showing young girls that they don’t have to reproduce like cockroaches to be worth something, especially long-term relationships; that there are other goals worth shooting for. His wife can keep her stretch marks and dirty diapers. I hope his daughter (if he ever has one) doesn’t pick up on her father’s out-dated and patriarchal attitude if she decides not to give in to a life of servitude.

    • Peaches

      How can we as women use the fact that we give birth as a sign of strength, then ridicule women for giving birth? “His wife can keep her stretch marks and dirty diapers…” That was extremely rude. GEN you seem like one of the women that probably come across as ANGRY and give us a bad name. How can we expect men to respect us when women like you downplay motherhood and discredit the very unique quality that women own? You sound like an idiot. I wish the moderator would have cut your whole comment. Dumb @ss broad. Women like you make me sick. A man that wants a family is out-dated and patriarchal? I guess Michelle Obama is living a life of servitude huh? So stupid.

    • Devale


      You poor misguided soul, first of all I wanted my woman to be motherly so she could mother my child, not baby my a**! Apparently you have mommy issues. Maybe your mother wasn’t present in your life but motherhood is important. Second, I agree there are other goals for women to shoot for, not taking that away from career women, but a man looking to build a family would not be interested in seeing a woman’s list of accomplishents to validate her ability as a worthy mate. Some men aren’t looking for kids, I was. Third, don’t disrespect my wife, she has no stretch marks and if she did I believe bringing my son into the world was well worth it. Lastly, she doesn’t handle diapers. Daddy got that! 😉 

      Just one question, if having children makes a woman a baby factory and in turn, deciding to give into a life of servitude, what do you think of your mom?

      • Missioneagles

        Hi Devale –

        Woo Wee!  Champion comeback, dude!  Oh yes. 

        Thank you, brother, for giving a real man answer.

        You aced it, Devale.  High fives!!!  

        • Devale

          Hahaha! Mission you’re hilarious with the High Fives!!! LMAO

          • JT

            LOL look at you. You sit around on a website for women and reply to every single comment posted about you. How womanly of you. You are so easily offended and emotional, just like a little girl. Grow up, DEVAL and go do something productive, you have a family for God’s sake.

  • Soulfulsistah21

    I like Demetrius a lot. Not only is he handsome and older/wiser, but he isn’t annoying or a showboat like that shallow, arrogant guy, “Deval”. Ugh what an annoying arrogant pig. But anyway, Demetrius is charming, handsome and knows what he is talking about. He puts off this confidence without trying hard, like DEVAL did. Demetrius just is. Deval just isn’t. 

    • Devale

      You got all of that in just 30 mins? Wow you’re better than Miss Cleo! Sorry I annoyed you. You won’t have to hear from me any further cause a pig would never speak to a horse’s @$$! Be Blessed!

      • Missioneagles

        Greetings –

        You have NO need to apologize to someone superficial…and clearly not deep enough to recognize that such comments are low class…

        • JT

          Missioneagles get off his d**k and Stfu.

      • JT

        LOL you’re such a scumbag, on the show AND online. Any woman that would marry you is also a loser. Tell your equally as entitled wife I said hey. Go suck on some man’s d**k with your overly pink a** lips, you insecure, immature wussy.

    • Missioneagles

      Greetings SOULFUL SISTAH21 –

      Your comments about Deval are NOT on point to people who have depth.  To call him a pig and other such demeaning terms is NOT representative of comments from a person of champion conduct.

      • Devale

        Much appreciated! 🙂

  • tbaby

    I love for a man to be honest! I really appreciated the videos and the open discussion! Unfortunately when youre in the situations with a man they are rarely that honest! Its funny how you have two men who are 27 ones married and one still thinks like a 21 year old! But the 31 yr old Jeff and Demetrius really had a good way of thinking! I thought that was a very good panel because you definitely can’t judge a man by his age!

  • No name

    It would be interesting to see the views and perspectives of older men. 

    • Demetrius

      U mean … older than ME lol lol?


    heyyy! i’m a fan of the series so far! props 2 the fellas for the input. as far as interracial dating, i’m an ASIAN-AMERICAN– FILIPINA to be exact and i happen 2 be into the brothas!!! lol. he can be light- skinned, caramel, dark chocolate..just as long as he’s handsome! i’ve kicked it with/dated street/thug/gangsta cats as well as conservative cats; i don’t have a problem with his lifestyle, just as long as he’s a grown man/takes care of his own, respects, down with whatever/have fun, laugh, no drama/baggage then we cool 🙂  i don’t mind askin a dude out, if i feel really comfortable and i’m really cool with him, yeah why not! but i’m strong about 1st date, a gentleman should take care of it!  i did have a date fail 1nce @ the movies where i thought he was gonna take care of our tickets, he said he didn’t have it ($) and i ended up payin 4 it!..i could’ve walked out on him there but i wanted 2 see how we were if there was any chemistry (platonically) throughout the whole movie, and i wasn’t really feeling him, he wasn’t feeling me neither and that was that, it was a wrap/never heard from him. anyway..just showin love around here 🙂 thnx

    • Demetrius

      Salute love and I feel u: )

    • Hey do you like Waka Flocka?

  • Loved the panel discussion.  I will say this, I feel that dating is not as complicated that people make it out to be.  When you reach a point of maturity, you know the things that you expect, and the things that are total turn offs.  If you follow your gut instincts, they will never lead you wrong. Never. But you have to reach that point of awareness to understand the importance of following that voice. And when its time to put those shackles on your feet (marriage), your will be a happy detainee. 🙂 

  • correction: *or doesn’t

  • Just happen to come across this site and series and must say, I’m happy I did. 

    One topic discussion that had me a little like “wow” were the responses regarding women who do not want to have kids. 

    I happen to fit into the “good woman” category who decided early in life that kids are not something I want or interesting in having. Now 36, I still feel the same and its not that I hate kids – its just not an aspiration I’ve ever wanted to achieve. My focus was and has been achieving career goals, living out my dreams, traveling the world and while doing so, also have a fruitful and progressive relationship. 

    Although I respect the views of what is traditionally taught (i.e. the “natural” progression of meeting someone, having a relationship, marrying, then having kids), if a woman meets all other criteria with the exception of kids, it does NOT mean she is not serious about the relationship or does not desire an eternal future with a/her man. In my humble opinion, relationships are not solely about the end result of marrying and having kids; its about so much more than that. I’m sure this is all relative depending on your needs vs wants in a relationship. But a woman can be nurturing without being mother. I don’t think it should be assumed that becoming a mother automatically makes you nurturing, compassionate or motherly; a woman either has those qualities and characteristics upfront or don’t or acquires them through life experiences and change. 

    I guess my point is to not discredit women who do not want to have kids. 

  • Stephj600367

    Kela, can I have your job please???? lol I so wish we could trade places with all that fineness that surrounds you. Lol

  • sj600367

    I am so attracted to Demetrius. Wow! Swexy and smart. 

  • whitney g

    TThis sucks. They dudes suck. Boo. Like we didn’t know what they were all going to say and the mediator doesn’t speak well.

  • Hater

    Demetrius is the truth, Devale is a looker and he knows it!

    But I can appreciate all they’re different opinions! Its a nice show Madame Noire, well done!

    • Demetrius

      PEACE and Thank U !!!

  • Hater

    Demetrius is the truth, Devale is a looker and he knows it!

    But I can appreciate all they’re different opinions! Its a nice show Madame Noire, well done!

  • Ifuaskme2

    I’m not feeling this one. Maybe its the moderator. She seems to be partial to the guys who go along with her belief. Would have been better that a man interviews men. The answers would be more honest. Or maybe its the panel, two of the guys were in committed relationships. Or could be the questions, most of which were ridiculous. Whatever it is, I will not be tuning in if there’s an episode three.

    • Give it one more chance 🙂 

      • Ifuaskme2

        Nah brother. As fine as you brothers are, it is not enough to hold my attention. 

        • you called me fine? aoooowwww

          • Ifuaskme2

            Like you don’t know. Probably passed you on Nostrand too but I like my clothes loose 🙂

            • I live In Long Island boo I’m not a Brooklyn “Shotta”

    • Chill. Kela held us to a standard and we kept it 100. We all did. She prob cosigned because shes objective and not just there to say everything women wanna hear… StreetZ

      • Guest

        Yeahhhh, Streetz, I peeped a grammar error in one of your comments, buddy. On pg. 3, you say, “there’s many,” but last I checked, many is not singular; therefore, it’s “there’re many.” HAAAAAAA, had to do it. =,


        A gal with a long list of grammar pet peeves. 

      • Ifuaskme2

        Chill? CHILL? What is this, the 80’s. Moving along…. I have to agree with the guest below. Several reasons why. 1. She’s the moderator so she couldn’t ‘cosign’ anything. SMDH one that one. 2. What women wanted to hear was something other than the same old rhetoric (look that word up). 3. She’s the interviewer, not the one being interviewed so she cannot say anything but the question. Moderators are just that. Seriously man? Thanks for proving to all that this episode was a bust.

        • Streetz

          You know what I find funny: all of you troglodytes who continue to submit these petty pot shots at us keep assuming that we are uneducated. Lol you want me to look up rhetoric? Why should I when your last comment is a perfect synonym! 

          And btw the phrase chill is timeless. If you aren’t hip to slang don’t try to Be cool with a wack retort. 

          But I’m chillin tho.


  • KeptWoman

    Wow!!! I haven’t watched the episodes YET. I have to go get my taxes done. I’ll watch the videos later.

    Nonetheless, I must say I LOVE the posts I’m reading. I’m assuming the guys featured in the videotaped episodes also have an account on Bossip. Even though you aren’t addressing me, I appreciate the guys(Demetruis, DeVale,etc.) featured in the video responding respectfully to the comments of viewers. I really like the open communication 😉 I’m really impressed. Have a good weekend!

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  • SisterMaryam

    I’d also like to state that if what these men are saying is true ( black women sexing men on the first date) I now see why black women have the highest HIV/AIDS rates. This is just horrible! No woman should be pressured into having sex with men who are not legally, financially, and spiritually committed to them. Black women ( like other races and ethnic groups) have the right to be married, protected, and provided for. I’m disgusted with these men. No wonder 80% of black children are born out of wedlock-black men have no incentive to marry them. This is a disgrace to our ancestors who after exiting slavery married in droves…look at us now..

    • Devale

      I’m not sure about the other men on the panel but I find it safe to assume none of us were answering these questions with the thought that they only pertained to black women. For example: when answering the question about a woman that sleeps with you on the first date. I don’t think our answers were geared toward just black women but women in general. I agree no one is entitled to anyone’s time but this was the “Dating” episode. We can’t get to the level of committment that includes engagement or marriage without dating first. All of our questions were focused on that aspect of the male-female relationship. Take time to think about this, women have evolved tremendously since our ancestors. Some women out here (black, white, asian, whatever) view men as disposable as well and choose to live a life that will be fulfilled by their accomplishments rather than buiding a household. This has changed the dating scene immensely. I’m sure all the men on this panel have encountered the type of women that wants nothing but a one night stand, no strings attached type of arrangement, and willing to pay for everything because in these times a woman doesn’t need a man to validate her success. The truth of the matter is, our ancestors lived in a time when a woman was judged by how she kept the home and raised her children. Today, women hold seats in congress, own companies, are professional athletes, and high powered execs. Some of these women are changing the game because they will come at a man with the same assertiveness they approached their career and are changing the rules of engagement in the dating scene. If a single man can find a woman that is looking for the same thing as he is for the time being he will ride that wave till he finds “the one” that sparks a different interest. With that being said before you point the finger at the guys on this panel for the reason as to why women have it so hard in the dating market please take a step back and look at how times have changed for both sexes.

      • Homeiswithin

        Greetings Devale,


        Thank you for taking the
        time to read and respond to my commentary. 
        Honestly, I wasn’t expecting that! Let me start by stating I believe
        that we are going to have a permanent point of disagreement—but that’s okay, we
        can’t grow as individuals without hearing opposing viewpoints.  I respectfully disagree that the masses of
        black women are comfortable with giving up their affection, attention, service,
        and finance to strange men who are not committed and more importantly, have no
        intention of being committed.  I will
        disclose that I’m a Black Muslim woman and am used to seeing black women of all
        class tiers court men without having to debase their selves in the vulgar manor
        I hear in this series.  Please know that
        all black women are not like and will NEVER be like that.  HIV/AIDS, 80% out of wedlock births, and fatherlinesses
        transcend ALL class tiers (your reference to the professional class) in our
        racial and ethnic group.  Respectfully,
        your accusation of pointing my finger is a shallow attempt to tell me to shut
        up.  I’m not going to shut up and I want
        other single black women and girls to know that I did not have to give up a
        single thing in order to marry and mother. 
        Respectfully, I’m disgusted.  We
        keep aiding and abetting dysfunction.  I
        remain committed to everything I said in my previous posts. 

        • Devale

          I understand your viewpoint. But once again I wasn’t saying most or even half of the women in the world have to give up anything in order to get a man to commit. I was just saying that there are woman in the world (NOT GIVING A PERCENTAGE) that are professionals, not hoes or freaks, that have progressed to a point of sexual independence and offer their sexuality because thats what THEY want. It has nothing to do with the man at the time. Its just something they choose to do. This dynamic has changed the game for women that choose to be more traditional. In a sense this may be making it more difficult for the traditional woman to find a man willing to court a traditional way.

          Thanx for the feedback!

    • wow….. there’s fatherless, motherless, STD carrying white people, and asian people, and martians as well….. we only make up 18 percent of this country. 

  • SisterMaryam

    Respectfully, I’m totally disgusted! I had NO idea the relationship market had deteriorated to this degree. Strange men are not “entitled” to a womans time, affections, finances or services without a committment-on the level of engagement or marriage. I encourage black women to read “Is Marriage for Black People : How the African American Marriage Declilne Affects Everyone by Dr. Ralph Richard Banks. Black women expand your options!

    • You are taking this way out of proportion. But thanks for watching

    • You are over thinking this, like most women. lol StreetZ

      • thinking too much B

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  • Jamila Adia

    Demetrius you rock. Your answers were on point and you seem like you come from a place of experience and have learned from past mistakes. The other guys on the panel come off very shallow. Especially the comment “women out number men 6 to 1 I can just get another chick”. Wow that is really a statement of that gentlemen looks at women as being very disposable. I do feel blsck women just aren’t respected and there are women out there who “Doing The Right Thing”.This is for the men out there “Stop being so shallow and expand you mind”.  I appreciate all the view points of the men today good insight but nothing that shocked me in a good way. ie: except Demetrius 😉

    • Demetrius

      Thanks 4 The Love Jamila: )!!!

      • Jamila Adia

        Are u single! Hope so. You are a gentleman very classy. I hope when I grow up I can meet someone like you. Lol sike im grown and on my own. Hope to talk to you soon.

      • Jamila Adia

        Demetrius keep shining brother because you were the star.

        You didn’t say alot but what you said held weight of a
        billion men. Some people talk alot and say nothing. We need more men like you
        uplifting black sisters instead of tearing them down at every chance they get. Or putting us in a box on how we should look or act. Keep loving your black women I appreciate you.

    • #1 – If you’re going to call someone shallow, you need to be flawless. Spelling and grammar issues in your comment do not suffice as criteria by which you can call ANY of us shallow.

      #2 – Calling us shallow is a cop out. Thats how I knwo we kept it real. You dont know me, and I’m far from offended, but IDK how a rational woman can sit there, watch us and call us shallow. You mad

      #3 That comment about getting another chick is REAL! Why waste your time worrying about one woman when there are billions of other out there?! Thats the mentality and a real one as a single man. You don’t want to hear that though. It’s cool.



      • Jamila Adia

        Why even reply to me If I am a mad women??? I have the RIGHT to my viewpoint. YOU put yourself out there so be prepared to face the criticism. Just by your unintelligent response to MY VEIWPOINT you obviously have some maturing to do and I did say I respected everyones perspective on the panel if you read my entire post. As far as grammar all your words were not spelled correctly either. I’m not on here to debate my post to you or anyone. Women like me eat men like you for lunch and throw your bones to the dogs. Hopefully you won’t be back. Grow up. Hey Demetrius!

        • LOL did that make you feel better? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA U do have the right and thanks for resting on the “you put yourself out there” crutch. Your BS comments were off base but I have the right to respond also. You eat men like me for breakfast? Ok cool story. You can debate me ANYTIME on Singleblackmale.org or at my twitter @streetztalk:twitter I dont fear debate, or online thuggery.


          • Jamila Adia

            Why do you feel like it is a debate because you were put on the defensive?? Online thuggery?? That is not even how I operate. The term thuggery is saved for the STREETS not STREETZ lol……I discuss topics like this with different men in my life and they all have a viewpoint it doesn’t mean I agree, but we put it out there in the open. I never resorted to calling your comments BS or saying you were a mad and lonely black man?? So why go there on me? I don’t debate on the internet. I put a post up you responded period. Now You turned it into a debate. As I said before I am not on here to defend my post to anyone that means even you. I discuss topics in person not via the stroke of a key pad. As far as a meeting of the minds You clearly don’t take a hint. Being honest and being shallow are TWO different things but you can be both. Honestly shallow. I done here God bless and good night……….

            • Streetz


        • Streetz

          U called me unintelligent and shallow, and you got that from 30 minutes of a video and a blog comment. Wow you are special!

          All of your insults are cop outs, basically. You are angry and want to exhibit Internet courage. I sense a major touch of bitterness and venom in your message. You have a right to your views and I have a right to rebutt. isnt that the point of comments on the net? LOL!

          The only thing you will eat is your own words if you REALLY want to debate me. you can find me Streetztalk on Twitter. all my contact info and where I reside online is on this site. Holla at me if you want a meeting of the minds. I shy away from no challenge.

        • hey boo….. you gave Demetrius a hey, where’s mine?

      • Devale

        I guess a brother can only take but so many stones before they start throwing back. LOLOL!!! What we really need is a panel of women to debate us live with interactive questions from the blog. I believe some of the viewers are missing the true essence of the conversation. These are some of our deepest thoughts brought to life by questions that most men would never answer AT ALL. I feel you though Jeff. I’ve been called everything, shallow, weak, white washed (LMAO) and self-loathing, for being honest about what men REALLY think and talk about. If we all got up there and said, “I’m looking for an intelligent, christian, virgin to propose to tomorrow, and it really doesn’t matter what she looks like as long as she graduated from an Ivy league school and made me wait till marriage to hold her hand because sex before marriage is for heathens…” all the women that watched would say we were frauds and discredit the entire segment. But I have to agree with you in that it seems some of the viewers don’t want to hear what men really think, they just want to anonymously judge and blame the men that agreed to participate for issues that have plagued our people prior to our existence. SHOUT OUT to the women that tried to understand and appreciate our perspectives. By offering a glimpse into the mind of a man I am also getting a glimpse into the minds of women. “It’s wild in here.” LOL

        • Thats why Im chillin man… doesnt make sense. At all. They just want to hear BS and Im not the one. Lonely @ss people who want to throw haymakers and get sick when we respond. LOLOLOL

          • Devale

            LOL! Chick on the bottom just called me a showboat and an arrogant pig. smh. I’m not a pig I’m just a ham but its whateva. Imma keep my comments to myself because a pig will never talk to horse’s a**! HAHAHAHA

  • Peaches

    I think Devale came across as shallow because he seemed the most honest, but after reading these posts I believe he has many more layers. Not to mention he is one fine black man. Its tough to get on a panel that will be viewed by black women and be honest (except if you’re a wild stallion) LMAO That was clever. Yall know how we sisters can be. LOL. Demetrius by far had the best answers to listen to but it makes me wonder if he was being sincere. I mean, I know he is a little older but damn. He sounded a little like a politician. How is he still single with answers like those. Jeff you sound like a lot of fun and very sure of yourself. “Nobody built like you, you designed yourself.” favorite line of the day. You’re right, women are vampires with confidence and we are proud of it. A good looking confident black man that can articulate his thoughts is alright in my book. Birch, Birch, Birch. We definitely needed your persepective to know what kinda men to stay away from. (Unless one is in the market for a one night stand) You are not boyfriend material right now. Sorry Boo Boo! All in all I did learn alot and I applaude MN for this segment. Good job guys!!! XOXO

    • Missioneagles

       Hi Peaches –

      You made some good points.  Thank you

      But for you to express that Birch is not boyfriend material is certainly off base.  The truth is that he’s not boyfriend material to you and truth be further told, you may not be girlfriend material to him.  There are those who do consider that Birch is boyfriend material….and of course, those that consider that you’re girlfriend material.  There’s an assortment of styles, tastes, and preferences….

      A man once asked me, “Are you looking for Mr. Right?”  My response was, “No, Mr. Right is looking for me.”  We both laughed.  That’s how I roll and when and if Mr. Right finds me, …it’s on…but he’s got to put a wedding ring on it before he gets the treasure…        

      P.S. Birch is someone’s Mr. Right…we’re not privy to when…hey! it could be tomorrow…smiles.

  • Guest

    Yeah, I actually liked Birch’s big ol’ front teeth; they were endearing; however, the personality, not so much. Can we say, clownery?!? lol No tea, no shade. You all are funny, though! Comedic relief… And Liz, as someone who went to a school like MIT, I think it’d be interesting to hear from black guys who went to “elite” PWIs like MIT, Yale, Amherst, Duke etc. Sure it’d be the same hot messness, but I wonder whether the perspective differs a little, due to “environment.” lol Slash, yeeeahhh, Michelle went to Princeton…common knowledge…question mark. lol Demetrius was cool, though; his answers were spot on.

    • Dudes that go to Yale are scumbags too! Dont get me started on Duke! What happened with their lacrosse team?!?!? What is the point of interviewing them? You just want to date a sucker…. Admit it B!

      • Guest

        lol Whoa, slow ya roll. No, I don’t “want to date a sucker,” I’m just curious as to how perspectives differ e.g., black males tend to like curvaceous bodies, but would a black guy who’s been immersed in a certain culture, be more attracted to a skinnier body type? Stuff like that. Same for a black girl/woman who grows up around white people: she might not desire curves, be attracted to black men, or want to have natural hair.

        I hope to end up with a gentleman, whatever the race/ethnicity. He’d also need to be on my level when it comes to education…sorry I’m not sorry. And no, he doesn’t need to be a Stanford, MIT grad, just overall educated. I’m the first to say I’ve met some ignant folks  at my school, so trust, I know those guys are crazy, too, hence, my statement “sure it’d be the same hot messness.” I’m just curious about how/whether perspective would differ.

        I do enjoy the series and think all of you are cool…and I did like your smile, but you’re the kind of dude I’d stay faaaar away from. lol Sure you have plenty to choose among. 

        • Thanks for watching 🙂

  • Janelle

    Kudos to Devale for marrying and I hope the others on the panel are looking to that in the future as well. I came across this article recently about the connection between marriage, child bearing, crime and poverty. Against what you hear on the news, this article says it’s the lack of present FATHERS and MARRIAGE that are leading to high crime, not race. I’m curious to hear what others think but I found this uplifting because it means if we as black people can rethink how we prioritize marriage and having children within marriage, we could begin to turn our own numbers around for our community. Not going to happen tomorrow but it’s certainly a start.

    You can read the full article at catholicculture dot org: http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/library/view.cfm?recnum=1446″Lack of marriage and fathers, rather than race or poverty, is the principal factor in the crime rate. It has been known for some time that high rates of welfare dependency correlate with high crime rates among young men in a neighborhood.30 But more important, a major 1988 study of 11,000 individuals found that “the percentage of single-parent households with children between the ages of 12 and 20 is significantly associated with rates of violent crime and burglary.” The same study makes clear that the widespread popular assumption that there isan association between race and crime is false. This study also concluded that poverty does not explain the incidence of crime.31 Illegitimacy is the key factor. The absence of marriage, and the failure to form and maintain intact families, explains the incidence of high crime in a neighborhood among whites as well as blacks. This is a dramatic reversal of conventional wisdom.”

  • the.me.i.be

    Was the brother who would applaud a woman for sleeping with him on the first date ALSO the one who said he wanted a woman who was moral? Pshhh… 

    • women who sleep with dudes on the first night have morals!!!! I’m sick of women thinking that first night sex is wrong! It’s not! Stop holding the cookies

    • really???

      i thought i was the only one!!!!!!!!

    • Peace,

      Yes I said that, and I stand by it! A lot of you in the comments are VERY judgemental. A womans moral character isnt compromised because she chooses to sleep with a man on the first date. Thats society beating you in the head! You know why I say that? Theres MANY good dudes out there who have had more than their fair share of one night stands. Does that diminish who they are as people? NO! There’s also the matter of discretion. If everyone knows how you roll, that isn’t a great look for your reputation. 

      Sometimes men and women arent looking for deep conversation, an immediate connection, or a spouse. SOMETIMES people just want to have fun! There’s nothing wrong with that at all as long as you do it safely in my opinion. If Michelle Obama had a ONS with Barack, yall chicks would be cosigninglike a muthafuka. Please….


  • Joyce Jackson

    I truly love you all however, Demetrius if I was closer to your age I would hunt you down and it would be on!!!! 🙂  You are the best.  I truly love your perspective.  

    • Demetrius

      Ever seen a dark skinned black man blush Joyce lol? Peace and Thank u !!!

  • FemmefataleLB

    I appreciate everyone’s advice and opinion on the Ask A Black Man crew, it’s really giving a lot of insight. I hope you guys continue with what you’re doing despite the ugliest that I see on the comments.  You can agree to disagree respectfully, because you guys are volunteering your time. Thanks again.

  • Zazamonroe

    Panel in video #2 was BORING!

    • Missioneagles

       Greetings –


      Boring to you…

      Based on the bulk of the comments here, we weren’t bored….

      • thanks for watching!!

        • Missioneagles

           Hi Birch –

          You’re certainly welcome.  It was a pleasure.

  • Devale

    Word Kela was dope, Jeff, Birch, D-Money wass good!!!

    • Kéla

      Thanks!! you guys were actually 1 of my fav sets.  dont tell the other guys i said that

      • i think they know now

    • Devale waddup… just trying to survive in this beast azz comments section…lol

      • Devale

        Hahaha! I feel you. SMH I thought we did ok. I think I’m actually learning more than the target audience. The feedback has taught me a few things. I would seriously like to do a Q&A segment with a group of ladies so that we can elaborate on the things we spoke about. I believe its only fair…lol

        • Missioneagles

           Hi DEVALE –

          Yeah…and I’d love to observe your darling wife as one of the ladies in the target audience.  Her feedback would be interesting for sure.

    • Demetrius

      Sup Homey?

  • and BTW, Kela a dope host! She had us under control, lol. Proud to work with her! – Streetz

    • Kéla

      Thank you kindly!! 

  • lol great extended episode. Great panelists! Oh and wait Demetrius is 43? I need to see your government papers! lol A clear testament that black doesn’t crack 🙂

    • Demetrius

      WORD Melanie Word lol.
      Peace Love and Thank U: )!!!

  • I found this video really insightful… All the men we really great with wonderful perspectives…

     Devale was my fav with his answers.. I love that line.. “If I’m worried about loosin her, I never really had her”.. He was spot on..

    And thank you Jeff for wanting some what of a challenge.. Good things come to those who wait lol..

    And Birch, I do know some women like the ones you describe… Date losers and then complain about them doin them wrong.. Over and over again.. I blame it on the lack of male figure (father figure) in their lives showin them how a real man is and what they deserve…

    Cant wait for more episodes keep up the good work guys 🙂

    • Trutst me I get those challenges daily and im very happy 😉 Thanks Ms Wilson!


  • tiffanybbrown

    I can’t with Devale. I really can’t.

    • Missioneagles

      Greetings TIFFANY –

      You can’t what?

      • Devale

        Tiffany CANT with me because I should have said MISUNDERSTOOD instead of ANGRY in my profile when asked “What is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of black women.” I already admitted that my choice wording was wrong because the intent was lost but my reasoning still remains the same. I was expecting the followers of the site to ask why I chose that word and instead I incited a riot. Bottom line, I feel that black women have it the toughest in the dating scene. So many black father figures were and still are not existant leaving black women to raise families on their own. This leads our culture to raise our women to be strong, independent and forceful because they have to be. Then black women are looked at as bossy and loud by the very men they have raised. While some black women are able to eloquently express their passions about dealing with their male counterparts others just come across as ANGRY. Seeing as how I married a black woman and am still surrounded by a host of aunts, female cousins, a mom and a sister I was not speaking from a bad place. I was hoping to create a debate but instead women like Tiffany took exception to my comment and now hate my guts. I honestly feel I can show no greater support for my sisters than by marrying a sister but now women like Tiffany feel like that is not good enough. It is what it is. I cant blame them for getting upset if rage and fury is what was caused by my comment. I can only apologize (which I did a number of times to both the ladies and Madame Noire) and hope that you understand my intent and where I am coming from. But just for the record Tiffany, not wanting to hear that men view you as such doesn’t change the fact that they do. I for one don’t, thanx to my mom and my aunts I understand the strength and love behind a black woman’s passion.Thats why I married one.

        • Missioneagles

          Hi Devale –

          Thumbs up, brother, for what you’ve expressed here.

  • Cocochanel31

    True Sarah however men can have a baby at any age…perhaps she was his long time sweetheart from high school or college who knows…i’m sure they are happy! Usually men of his “swag-caliber “dont settle down till after 30..again exceptions to every rule! lol

  • Cocochanel31

    Oh absolutely MissionEagles! He just appeared to be a man still in his “prime” still feeling himself a little and not saying this in a bad way at all, because I think most men need to take their 20’s to explore what’s out here ( usually not much) find themselves, then settle down. I would not expect a man with his swag( they usually take longer) to be in a relationship or married at all yet, however, there are exceptions to every rule! I was genuinely curious and not knocking the brotha for marrying young at all.

    • Sarah

      He did mention that he wanted a family, so that might have been a factor in him choosing to settling down at what we nowadays consider a relatively young age.

    • Missioneagles

      Hi COCOCHANEL31 –

      Please know that I wasn’t responding as if you were knocking him.  I expressed in celebration of the queens who’ve gained their kings.  You go, ladies!

  • Cocochanel31

    Devale you kept talking about there being so many more women to men , and you are very young at 27, what made you get married at sucha young age when you clearly had/have your fair share of options? I would not expect a brotha like yourself to settle down so soon….

    • Missioneagles

      Greetings COCOCHANEL31 –

      Could it be that he found a queen that has such exceptional qualities that rendered her irresistible to the brother?  

    • Devale

      Whaddup Coco. My situation is a unique one. I’ve known and dated my wife since I was 18. The first week of our relationship I knew I found a special person. We’ve always been direct and honest with each other. When I needed space it was available and when she needed space it was the same. I guess the opportunity to mature as a man with a companion that always held me down but allowed me to grow made my love for her infinite. After graduating from college I played pro ball for 3.5 years. In those years I was able to explore other options, travel, build a business, a financial foundation, and live on my own without the crutch of my parents. Next on my list was to have a son. She made it very clear that she was not going to be my baby mama lol so I asked her to marry me. 10 months later my son was born. I guess what I’m saying is that God blessed me with an amazing woman and unique career opportunities at a very young age. This allowed me to live a very full life earlier than most.

  • Whats funny is the same people callin Birch immature date dudes just like him, only difference is that they arent keeping it 100 like Birch is in the video! I’m a few years older than Birch, and i can say that with experience I see the totality of the world  and the exceptions to the rules, but his core concepts aren’t that off base. Women hate hearing the truth even if it is from men. Thats why I respected everyone i spoke with on that panel. We all kept it real and spoke via our past experiences. Dont shoot the messenger, get better kevlar!


    • Liz

      I agree….Birch is getting dates from somewhere so we can’t negate that his standpoint is at least working. 

  • Cocochanel31

    I liked this cast just as much as the first! Ol LL had me cracking up! Look we cannot be mad at others’ opinions no matter how superficial or shallow they may be. The beauty of dating is you get to weed out the men/women that don’t think like you and make room for someone who does. I liked that the older gentlemen defiently had a more mature approach to dating, as he should, since he has lived his LIFE longer and been through differnet things..funny that the ultimate PLAYBOY is the only one married…but it was all entertaining!

    • Missioneagles

      Greetings COCOCHANNEL31 –

      You called Devale a “PLAYBOY” because?

  • Sarah

    I can appreciate a man speaking from an actual position rather than potential.  I hold different views than he and I am sure overtime he like myself will continue to evolve with the hopes of bringing me closer to my desires.  I won’t judge him though, I can’t because I am human too. 

    • Missioneagles

      Hi Sarah –

      I love what you expressed.  You sound like a wise woman.  We so much need more such people.

  • Sarah

    I am lady and I happen to think Birch’s comments were more on a level of candor rather than immaturity.A lot of what he says rings true in the actions of many men.  Some may express similiar views with more tact, while others say nothing at all. We asked for real answers, so when its not what we want to hear we find ways to disqualify the messager.  How many times we as women were left to decode a man’s actions because his words didn’t align.   I prefer a man to be direct and speak from the head space he’s in currently so I can decide advisedly where we stand.

    • Liz

      Yep! I may not agree with how he seemingly claims to treat women…but I know men think like him and some women do appreciate directness. 

  • Tolani

    Im 20 years old and I always complain about guys my own age. Who knew a 27 year old man could still behave like such a child. Birchell’s comments lead me to believe he  should probably reevaluate his taste in women. Its quite unfortunate because I was so into him before he opened his mouth. He is beyond fine.

    • Tolani I just ignored everything and took that you think im fine…. 🙂 owwwwww

  • amthomp7

    Love this segment. 

  • Missioneagles

    Greetings moderation –

    Are you running scared?  Are you blocking my comments because I’m promoting truth and getting “Likes”?   And I thought you were above player hating….

    • Liz

      You’re probably talkin crazy. There’s a crazy filter on here, you didn’t know?

      • Missioneagles

        Greetings Liz –

        Yes, talking crazy truth.  Some filters are engineered to not handle crazy truth.

        Some people can’t handle it well, either.

        • so change your name and report, so we know its real – Streetz

          • Missioneagles

            Greetings –

            Are you inclined, MAD, to clarify what you mean?

  •  To add to what I expressed earlier…


    B. Niles, a virgin in her forties, wrote a book titled, Celebrating Men
    (Amazon.com).  In it, she describes why she’s not going to settle; her desire is
    for the man who is best for her.  She also shares experiences about men in her
    life who respect her and her choice to remain a virgin until she marries.


    B. Niles truly does celebrate men and one of her main aims is to promote that
    they be leaders in their homes, first….

  • B24

    I can’t remember his name, but dude to the right with the sweatshirt is a different type of breed. He is 28, yet sounds like he is 19. “Woman don’t want a good guy!?!..” WRONG It’s cool though! The great thing about this show is that you guys give us perspectives from all sides of the spectrum.

    • B24


    • Two words. “Cake Remix” ………..

      • RenJennM

        LMAO! Birchell, you are too damn funny! Definitely a guy I’d hang out at a bar and laugh with… but that I’d never date. Sorry Birch!

        • you live in NYC? set it up!

      • “cake remix” hilarious lol Sad to say some women prefer the “dramatics” that come with a bad boy over a good dude.

  • Uncle Ben was up there droppin’ knowledge on you young’ns!

    • Demetrius

      Aaaawww damn “Uncle Ben”? Word lol? U killin’ me lol lol !!!

      • Haha, nah just messin’ w/u my man. Good Money!

        • chill! 

        • Demetrius

          Nah its all love my mellow lol lol !!!

  • RenJennM

    This was a great segment. I love to get and hear the perspectives of life and love from Black men, whether I agree with them or disagree with them. I noticed that even though I enjoyed looking at Devale (*wink*), I even more so enjoyed listening to Demetrius talk. I agreed with just about everything he had to say; especially when it came to the interracial dating topic. He was great and really insightful. I wish more guys my age were like him (I’m 23). Jeff had some great opinions too. And even though Birchell was a bit immature (OK, maybe more than just a bit), he made me laugh. Anyway, can’t wait until the next episode! Good job Kela, and good job fellas!

    • Demetrius

      Peace Queen and Thanx for the love: )!!!

    • Liz

      You have expressed exactly what I felt when I casted each of them!! Glad they came across as true as I wanted them to 🙂 

    • Thank Ya Kindly!! – Streetz

    • Kéla

      Thank for tuning in and sharing your thoughts!!

  • mochaaa

    i love devale’s mentality. very seldom do you find such an attractive black man who’s ready to get married in their 20s..unless theyre in the army or something. i respect his views. i think he came from a 2 parent household because his values coincide with one who grows up with their 2 Married parents (if that makes sense). this was a good episode. and demetrius had the best answers.

    • Devale

      Thank you for the compliment and you hit it right on the head MOCHAAA! I grew up with my mother and father. And while some of my views are considered old school and not progressive enough for most I feel confident in saying that being married was something I always wanted. My wife and my son are extremely important to me as well as being an intact black family. As a man I accomplished a lot at a young age but finding a strong woman to be a supportive wife and outstanding mom to my son is something I pride myself on the most. Cause I don’t wanna be singing “She wasn’t wit me shootin in the gym…” LOL

      • Hi Devale –

        I’m glad that you shared about growing up with your mother and father.  That’s a pleasure to learn. I love what you expressed about your family.  Indeed, you’re an asset to the family dynamic.  Thank you.    

    • Demetrius had the most respectful answers. He’s lived longer and has been through more. He was probably as crazy as I was at one point lol

      • Demetrius

        Uuummm …no comment lol !!!

      • Hi Birch –

        We’re all works in progress…

        Each of you on the panel has assets…

        P.S. I love your smile.  

        • Guest

          Yeah, I actually liked Birch’s big ol’ front teeth; they were endearing; however, the personality, not so much. Can we say, clownery?!? lol No tea, no shade.

          And Liz, as someone who went to a school like MIT, I think it’d be interesting to hear from black guys who went to schools elite PWIs like MIT, Harvard, Amherst, Stanford,  Duke etc. Whatever, it’d all be the same hot messness! smh lol

          Slash, c’mon, now, Michelle went to PRINCETON! How do you not know that? side-eye

  • 30thoughts

    I must say, I liked this episode better than the first. This panel was more representative of men that women would actually go for or give the time of day.  I liked hearing from Demetrius, the more mature man on the panel because he seemed more self-assured and no-nonsense, like someone who knows what he’s talking about.  Birch was a little too goofy and was easily swayed by comments from the other 2 in the peanut gallery.  Jeff was probably my favorite in terms of his answers and his appearance. Devale did come off cocky and shallow, but honest nonetheless.

    After watching the first episode, I had decided I wasn’t going to watch again, but I figured I’d give it a second chance.  Glad I did.  One more thing, I’d actually like there to be some interaction with men and women, rather than them just sitting there answering questions. Overall though, good job and lovely host.

    • peanut gallery? goofy? awww don’t do me like that 🙂 I’m glad you liked our episode better!

      • Greetings Birch –

        Indeed you have potential… 

        Folks mature mentally at different levels… 

        When I was your age, definitely I needed some more living and learning as do we all – whatever age we are.  

        I celebrate that you’re a student – not a thug, in jail, slinging drugs, and on the corners drinking 40’s.  I love those of that type, too, but we sure have an over abundance of such… 

        • oh my god Sandra you’re awesome

          • Thank you, Birch

            I’m a work in progress….we’re all students and teachers… 

          • Missioneagles

            Hi Birch –

            For some reason, moderation has blocked and not allowed all of my comments.   It could be an auto thing… 

            • you can tell me what you think. hit me on twitter or facebook

      • 30thoughts

        Sorry B 🙁 No offense…You’re handsome though, and I’m sure as time goes on, you come into your own.

    • Thanks for the love but Peanut Gallery? lolol – Streetz

  • Gregg Na77

    I respect and appreciate the opinions of the men on this panel because they are honest. I also feel the men were lined up accordingly. At one of the spectrum we have Demetrius whom I feel is the more mature, serious, black man; one I feel I can learn much from. At the other end of the spectrum, you have Birchell who exudes immaturity and would not get the time of day from any self-respecting woman. I feel that there is a thin line between confident and cocky; I feel that Devale is your cocky type as he is “never intimidated by a woman”. I understand that in general, by nature, women are physically inferior to men however there are other factors to take into consideration such as intellect and income. Everyone, even people with high self-esteem, has insecurities (understand there is a difference between being insecure and having insecurities) and therefore can and do feel intimidated at times by a number of things. The male ego is a delicate thing and most men need/want to feel validated by women. Otherwise what is the point of the pursuit? The stallion vs. donkey theory was a bit much for me. I felt he was feeling himself a little too much and tilting the scale into cocky. I was with him at the beginning, but that nullified it for me. I found myself agreeing the most with Devale (in the beginning) and Jeff simply because my answers to these questions would mirror his answers the most. Force rank on all aspects (appearance, intellect, views, etc..) would be Jeff, Demetrius, Devale, Birchell. I am really feeling this new segment. Great job Noire!

    • Gregg….. you probably slept with less than 20 women in your life. Nothing wrong with that but you disagreed with the NFL player and the funny guy. I would definitely use the donkey v stallion line on a chick. They like stuff like that. 

      •  Greetings –

        I agree with Gregg relative to the donkey/stallion…

        I love you, Birch, but you need a few more trips to the rodeo…

        You expressed, “I would definitely use the donkey v stallion line on a chick.  They like stuff like that.”

        My response:

        Ladies aren’t inclined to be defined as “chicks.”  As for “They like stuff life that.”
        Ladies aren’t attracted to stuff like that, Birch.

        Ladies are attracted to thoroughbred men… 

        • Sandra…….. I’d have fun with you on a date…….

          The verbal battle would be epic. MN needs to set that up and tape it.

          • Hi Birch –

            Thank you for the compliment…

            I’m about 56 years old.  We wouldn’t be dating.  There surely wouldn’t be a mutual attraction.  We don’t have anything in dating common from the standpoint of our age gap, etc.  I can give you stories, though, about my experiences.  Some of them would probably make you
            go “What?!”  

            P.S.  I’m a Christian and love GOD much…  Based on what I’ve lived and learned, my first date request of any man is that we attend church together.  Of course, that doesn’t mean that it’ll be a good hook up but I’m clear that if he wouldn’t attend church with me on the first date, that’s a sure deal breaker for me.  

            My attraction is to thoroughbred men who love GOD FOR REAL, and men who are loving, courteous, profound, intelligent, wise, excellent in communication, and fun. 

            Sidebar: The Jeopardy game show is a favorite program… 

            • Jeopardy? They’re questions are too easy. I stopped going to church after I got shot for my car and instead of saying thank god im ok this pastor said I was worshipping my car that’s why I got shot for it. Like I was praying next to my Nissan Altima. I was totally turned off. I need to find another church asap

              • Hi Birch –

                I feel you on that, brother.  Some churches don’t have Jesus as the Head that He should be…

                It’s not as much the church buildings as it is having church in us. The best churches are those that have leaders that steadfastly DO what the Holy Bible teaches. Only GOD is perfect; He does expect us, though, to aim to perfect holiness – 2 Corinthians 7:2.  

                Too many Christians make gods out of the pastors…
                And too many Christians depend on pastors to seek GOD for them.   And there are bunches of Christians who don’t read and practice, as lifestyles, what the Holy Bible teaches.   

                Once upon a time, I had to engage with a man for business purposes.  He told me that he was a Christian but when I dealt with him, regularly he was rude.  One day I approached him and asked, “Are you a Christian?”  He answered, “Yes.”  I then asked him, “Does GOD know you’re a Christian?”  Immediately, he looked stunned – too stunned to even answer the question.  I had my answer…

                As for your statement about Jeopardy having easy answers.  Birch, now for real, – those questions aren’t often easy.  They regularly have challenging questions…

                • Missioneagles

                  Correction –

                  I used a wrong scripture citation.
                  It’s not 2 Corinthians 7:2.  It’s 2 Corinthians 7:1. 

          • Sandraleonard

             you wopuldn’t stand a chance at all.

            • Missioneagles

              Greetings –

              You assume that he wants a chance to stand?

      • Gregg Na77

        You are right Birch. I have actually slept with 0 women in my life as I am a woman who loves black men. I do appreciate the comic value of the stallion vs. donkey theory, but found myself laughing at him instead of with him.

        • My bad thought Greg was a dude……. What’s wrong with Women sleeping with women? It’s 2012! lol

          • Hi Birch –

            You are so misinformed….

            Love ya, though!

    • Devale

      I really appreciated reading this comment. I know this was supposed to be a place for women to learn about what men think but I am actually learning how women view the things that I say. Let me be clear the Donkey vs Stallion reference was mainly for comic relief but I do feel that certain people carry a different mentality that pushes them to do greater things than others. I find that most of those people who are men don’t get intimidated by women because they just don’t get intimidated by much. Some people are just strong willed and unyielding. This same quality tranfers over to the dealings with the opposite sex. And it can work for both sexes. For example I doubt a man as driven as Michael Jordan or a woman as driven as Beyonce would be intimidated by a member of the opposite sex. The desire to conquer a challenge makes intimidation obsolete.

  • TKNY130

    love it!!! go Kela!!! I used to watch u on NY25…so pretty…good show, informative


    This was a good episode..I respect each of the brothas for their honesty and humor! You could tell the  maturity level from each of them based on their answers.  Although I may not agree with everything that was said, there is some truth to it, and you will find men out there who think just like all of the brothas that have been featured.  I especially liked Demetrius, Devale, and maybe Jeff.  I have male friends and we talk all the time about the perspectives of both men and women along with my female friends. This just confirms a lot of the things that my male friends have said.  I think men and women need to have more dialogue like this, not just on dating, but having a decent and respectful conversation in general.  It’s ok to agree to disagree and we’ll learn more about one another! So, job well done!  Just my opinion…

    • word you don’t like me? lol


        I think your cool, crazy..but cool! You made me laugh!

        • I’ll take that ;P

          • Demetrius

            Sup’ Homey?

            • bro…..you’re winning with all the viewers here

              • Demetrius

                Nah not really homey lol lol lol.

              • Hi Birch –

                You’re all winners.  Each brings a different perspective.
                That’s appreciated.

      • Greetings Birch –

        I love you…

        Aren’t you one of the younger of the group?  When I was your age, I needed a bunch more trips to the “rodeo.”  Some things, brother, only come from more experiences.
        Your answers, for the most part, were representative of someone your age.

        Typically, when we’re young, we aren’t profound.  Intelligence and knowledge are in a different class than profound.  Not many young folks are profound.  Often that comes from living and learning over time.  Of course, there are some exceptions…

        There are some old folks who’ve been to a bunch of “rodeos” and still don’t have a grip on thoroughbred actions.

        Be encouraged, Birch, – every age has purpose and meaning.  Work what you have and don’t trip on what you don’t know yet.  If you wisely live and learn, you’ll gain more wisdom with age.   No need to rush – where you are mentally is probably typical.

        Keep it real – that’s important.  

        • Yeah….OK

          And more important birch…. Wrap it up!! Lmaooo *serious face*

      • LOL word Birch. I caught a maybe though! *Cat Daddys*

  • Greetings –

    All of these are likeable men.  I appreciate that they are sharing here.

    That Beyonce/Michelle Obama question was, in my opinion, not in good taste.  

    • SisterMaryam

      Greetings Sandra,
      I 100% co-sign you here!  However, not only was it in poor taste but it reveals that the majority of black men are color struck.  The real crime isn’t that it’s insulting due to Mrs. Obama’s title it’s insulting becuase these men hate african/negroid physical features.  Beyonce is Creole.

      • Pseudonym

         I took the question to be “high-maintenance diva known for shaking her booty” vs. “classic natural beauty known for her intelligence.” 

        Beyonce’s kinda “freak in the street, freak in the sheets” where Obama’s more “a lady in the street and…well, we don’t know…”

      • Devale

        So Beyonce isn’t black enough now? WOOOWWWWW!!!!! LMAO. SMH. SisterMaryAm you’re a trip.

      • RadioRascoe

        I took it as, you want beauty over brains. But I really like Dimetrius…I would so love for himt to meet my sister. Devale seems a bit y

        • RadioRascoe

          Sorry didn’t get to finish..As I was saying, Devale seems a bit young…I mean how can you go to Harvard/Princeton and the like and not be intelligent? And then to compare her to George Bush, who is clearly from a very wealthy and connected family. Hasn’t he seen W? I found it to be a lame excuse for his choice.

      • Shawn Donna

        Skin tone had nothing to do with that question. It was about intellect vs. beauty but of course someone just had to take it there, smh

  • Shash1788

    I respect each man’s response… its their point of view! Ilike it!

  • FromUR2UB

    This episode was pretty funny.  These guys…especially that fourth one..

    Like Demetrius, though.  He seems like a pretty decent guy.

    • Demetrius

      I appreciate the love !!!

    • the fourth one? 🙂

      • FromUR2UB

        Sorry.  No slight intended. : )

    • Agreed! Demetrius has caught a few eyes.

  • midwestjamaican

    IHOP???  **dead** LOL

    • yeah! everyone else frontin like they don’t take these chicks to IHOP B!

  • London Girl

    I disagree with the whole don’t pressure a man into doing things comment and wait until ”HE’S” ready comment by Devale, what about when the woman is ready? Why is it all about the men and why should we be walking on egg shells around our men if we want to know what’s going on in our relationship? Relationships are about communication and if we want to know whether we are exclusive or not after some months then i think that’s a fair question to ask. It’s not about women not having time and wanting to speed things up it’s about wanting to know where we stand so girls please don’t hesitate to ask your man ANY questions regarding your relationship/ the status/ where it’s going. And that’s not to say you should start asking within a month of dating, Be realistic but don’t be afraid to ask to put a label on it (when the time is right).

    God bless !

    • cw

      Hi London Girl,

      That is a good point you brought up regarding Devale saying a woman shouldn’t put pressure on a man; however, I suppose another way of looking at it could be – would a woman be okay if a man put pressure on her to do something? Maybe the point Devale was trying to make is that no one likes to feel pressured into making a choice.

      I agree with you about communication being important in relationships and if a woman wants to know where she stands in a relationship with a man – all she needs to do is ask him.

    • Devale

      Hey London. I agree that no one should just wait around for another to decide when it is the right time for the 2 to be together. I was simply stating that men dont like pressure, and if you are unhappy with the situation because it is moving too slow then let him know and move forward. Pressure typically pushes men away and if they are not ready they will resist the urge to be ready if pressured.

      • Hi Devale –

        If a woman has to pressure a man, he’s not that into her…

        Women shouldn’t settle…wait for the best…in the meantime, get the gusto in life with or without a man. 

        • Devale

          Waddup Sandra, I believe we are in aggreance. I have a serious question. Do you think some women put pressure on men because of the ratio of women to men? I’m only 27 and my life experience is limited but it seems to me that most men feel little need to pressure women into things because there are way more women in the world than men. Sort of like supply in demand.

          • Missioneagles

             Hi Devale –

            That could be one of a variation of reasons.

            Some women are afraid of being alone and will settle for less than the best for them because of loneliness. I was one of those women who didn’t feel whole unless I had a man.

            Years ago, a man that I had lived with for more than five years told me that he wasn’t feeling me anymore.  I was in desperate mode and wouldn’t move out like he advised me.  Actually, he advised that if I moved out, perhaps the separation would help our relationship and that maybe we would get back together.  Well, I clung to the hope that if I stayed, he’d reconsider and feel me again.  Well, …about a year later, he left me and moved in with a woman who lived in the building next door to us…

            • Yeah….OK

              Damn…. Cold world….

            • Devale

              Sorry to hear that but it sounds like you learned from it. Hope you are in a better place now. Thanks for the response.

              • Missioneagles

                 Hi Devale –

                Thank you – no need to be sorry.

                We’re all a product of our experiences.  When we learn from pain, we can become better people.

                Yes, now I’m in a much better place…continuing to live and learn and to appreciate…

              • Missioneagles


                The man who left me and moved in with the woman next door…moved out on her about three months later…and about some months later she moved from the neighborhood…

                Later…he stated – “I left an angel for a devil.”
                Now I’m not saying that I’m an angel but that’s why he said relative to him moving out from me and moving in with her… 

    • Lala

      Well, a common complaint I hear from married men in their 40s with failing marriages is the fact that they feel like they were pressured into getting married when they weren’t ready.  I’m a 27 y.o. woman, for reference.  I agree with what was said, if the guy can’t give you what you need, get another guy.  

    • E-GO

      When a man is ready, you don’t have to ask….why can’t women just be? We’re always trying to move something  too fast at times…we don’t stop to savor the relationship and let things move organically. We’re always trying to prove something to other women. When a man wants you, there are no questions. Women are great with feeling things out, if you feel like your relationship is not going anywhere, it’s probably not…move on!

  • Demetrius is so intelligent and down to earth. I love it

    • Demetrius

      Peace Sandra and thanx !!!

  • Deval is getting on my nerves. Why can’t he stop generalizing negatively on women??? 

    • Moviemonk

      Now you know how men feel when watching daytime/primetime television today. Duh.

  • Detrag05

    love it!

  • really???

    just one thing, the answer Demetrius responded with to the question “the most awkward thing a woman can do on a date”, don’t men do that a lot and pass that off as “just being a man”? i hope i didn’t misunderstand his answer.

    • Demetrius

      No u definitely didnt misunderstand my response. And in answer 2 your question … YES men do this a lot. This is not 2 say its right. Just sayin’ …

      • really???

        lol, ok thanks for responding!

        • Demetrius

          All Good Love: )

    • When I do that…. I would look and ask my date “What do you think?” “Would you smash if you were a guy?” or something dumb so I can continue to look 🙂 awesome!