Always A Bridesmaid: What I’ve Learned About Marriage From The Single Sidelines

April 4th, 2012 - By MN Editor

by Meggin Sanez

You know it’s wedding season when you can’t bear the thought of opening your mailbox because of the plethora of invitations to various bridal showers, lingerie showers and couples showers (the list goes on) that do nothing but serve as a chilling reminder of your single status.  And need I even mention the debilitating fear of logging into Facebook and having your mini-feed bombarded with pictures of dazzling rings along with black and white stills of your friends donning full bridal garb in windblown fields at sunset?  It kinda goes without saying that all of this can be a bit depressing when you can’t even get a man to commit to a cup of coffee with you, let alone a lifetime of wedded bliss.

I’ve been there.  And as a single girl who has been single long enough to make becoming either a lesbian or a nun look like better options than retiring alone with 80 cats in a house that the neighborhood children run past on their way home from school, I feel your pain.  But just because everyone around you seems to be getting married and settling down doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world because you aren’t.   I may not have found my prince charming yet, but I have taken notes along the rose petal covered paths of others.  To get more specific on my findings, here are a few things I’ve learned whilst wearing the title of bridesmaid:

Lesson #1:  Being jealous gets you nowhere.  If your attitude matches the exact same disgusting shade of the kelly-green chiffon bridesmaid dress you are being forced to wear on a friend’s (well maybe ‘friend’ is too kind a moniker for a person making you wear such a monstrosity) big day, you are sure to look worse than you originally thought—as it turns out, jealousy is a look worn well by no one. I’ve attended too many weddings to count minus a plus one…and I’ll be the first to tell you that it can be tough to kick back and watch as swarms of happy couples dance around you.  But one thing I’ve learned is that being jealous does you no good.  It is just downright exhausting to throw yourself a pity party when you could actually be partying at the reception.  As corny as it may sound, positivity is one of the most attractive things about someone.  So why waste a perfectly good opportunity to enjoy your favorite cocktails and delicious cake on someone else’s dime?  Put a smile on that pretty face and you never know…you may just catch the bouquet…and maybe even a cute single groomsman!

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  • Ifuaskme2

    Iv’e been married before and while I won’t say I’d never do it again, I do see why Oprah isn’t bowing to pressure to ‘jump the broom’. Its been 12 years and I’m still in no hurry.

  • Dreama41

    I enjoyed reading this article. Your light and airy approach takes the sting out of being the single bridesmaid. I think all single women could benefit from having such a healthy attitude. 

  • Nope

    Women are funny.

  • http://twitter.com/liviasangel Courtney L Puzzo

    oh please the bridesmaids & maids of honor in a wedding are usually already married or about to be themselves my mom was a bridesmaid in my aunt bettys wedding 22 years ago and she and my dad had been married for 6 years I at 5 years old was a flower girl in that wedding

    • Samantha

      Where’d you get that information? Most bridesmaids I know aren’t married. But okay, maybe so.

    • Knowsy Latina

      Quite the large leap of assumption there. Most weddings I’ve been to (or been in) had mostly single bridesmaids — and I was myself a single maid of honor. 

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