WOMAN TO WOMAN: Intuition Or Insecurity?

March 31st, 2012 - By Rashana A. Hooks

blackgirlsingular

There is nothing more powerful than a woman’s intuition. You know that indescribable gut feeling we get when something is wrong, that tells us to research and react immediately. For many of us this gut wrenching gift has come in handy when uncovering things hidden from us in relationships. We’ve used this secret weapon to expose those who have wronged us without rhyme or reason.  Our only explanation is “something just told me so”. Also known as our “sixth sense”, we’ve grown to depend on this truth telling tale to have our backs when needed.

But sometimes it’s not our intuition that leads us to investigate a perceived problem, it’s our insecurities.  Yes, I said it – our insecurities and unaddressed issues can be easily masked or confused with a “woman’s intuition” and cause us to look for things that aren’t even there.  If we are lacking in the trust department or don’t think we are deserving of a monogamous and happy relationship than we can easily fall victim to believing that our man is up to no good and possibly ruin a perfectly fine relationship.

It’s important that we don’t get these two “feelings” twisted and drive ourselves crazy imagining things that don’t even exist. If you sense something is wrong in your relationship, check the conversation in your head and figure out if you have evidence to support it. If not, then it could be your insecurities getting the best of you.  I know it’s hard to admit that you may have insecurities but trust, we all have them and if you don’t manage them they can hold you back from having the fulfilling relationship you deserve. I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying “seek and you shall find even if nothing is there”.  Remember, regardless if it’s our intuition or insecurity when we look for something wrong, we’ll most likely find it.

Woman to woman, our intuition is powerful, yet our insecurities are real, know the difference.

 

Want to talk to me Woman to Woman or have a topic you would like addressed? Email me at rhooks@madamenoire.com or you can follow me on twitter @rashanahooks

 

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  • Powersistahs

    I enjoyed this post. Some times with my man something seems out of wack, but I don’t get the gut feeling something is wrong, so I trust I can let it go. What if you’re a Zambian girl told you must accept your husband cheating and meet say anything? Or any woman who feels powerless to act on the intuition ? We are in a tough place many times. Powersistahs.wordpress.com

  • L-Boogie

    There is a fine line between intuition and paranoia. But majority of the time it is intuition. 

  • karma is real people

    I’m going to be real honest right,judge me if you want.I’m 33 and have been married for 5 years to a wonderful husband and I have a 3 year old daughter.Let me say I have a great marriage.I’ve had more fun being married than when I was single.My husband is a provider,fun,respectful,humble,very optimistic and most importantly he always does and lives by what he says.We laugh a lot,handle conflict well and accept our differences.I say all that to say I have a great man but yet recently I find myself looking for strange numbers,texts and holes in his stories.Why?At first I thought it was “woman’s intuition”,that he was cheating on me.Was he bored?Did he want that excitement of a new women again? Was the new intern a little too appealing?I had no reason to doubt this man but yet I was running around checking phones and pockets acting like a brand new fool!!We have an unspoken rule of respecting each others’ space and I was violating it for the first time in our relationship because something didn’t “feel” right.It wasn’t until I stopped looking at him and started looking at myself that I found the real reason for my ‘intuition”.I was really PARANOID.

    When I was 18 I was involved with a married man.He approached me at work.Went out for a while and then I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction.I changed my number,address and place of work but the disrespect to his wife was done and the guilt overwhelming even at 18.Now that I’m older when I think back on it,that man was cold,calculated and heartless with the he way he treated his wife.Secret phones,secret apartments,the whole nine.Then he’d go home and kiss his children.He felt no guilt in his actions,he even felt somewhat entitled to do it.My REAL issue wasn’t a feeling of my man cheating.In the back of my mind I thought that Jeckle and Hyde of a man could be MY husband to some young college student he runs across getting his morning coffee.I’ve witnessed a cheater first hand so I now realize my perception is jaded.By me participating in the affair,I feel I deserve it if it does happen.I’m looking through his phone all of a sudden because I’m WAITING on the day when I’m the woman on the other end of the disrespect.

    I say this to say,ladies when you feel that intuition reflect on your own actions as well as the actions of your partner.If you haven’t fully dealt with something it will surface in another area.You may have not been a naive homewrecker like I was,but it’s something to think about.Don’t let an unresolved past ruin your future…

    • Ummmm,

      This is common in most women.They either allow or are unaware of no good men in their lives, homes and around their children and family. But when they find someone that may be worth keeping, the man has to get his necked chopped off for everything. This article is just what you needed because you are looking at your life 15 years ago that does not apply to your life now. Loosen your grip, search to see if your intuition is right but be careful not to lose someone who is a provider,fun,respectful,humble,very optimistic and most importantly always lives by what he says.

    • sweetie

      Wow…but you do know it is eventually gonna happen right?…you planted that seed years ago, be ready to reap the fruits when it is matured…..

      • GreatGrace

         

        “Sweetie”,
        I disagree. If she is truly sorry and stopped those ways, then no, this will
        not happen to her. If we all reaped from our bad fruit there would not be many
        unhappy people.

        To
        “Karma is real”, you have seen the error in your “lack of
        judgment ways” if you are truly sorry and have repented of your past mistakes
        God will forgive and heal and let you live a life without past guilt. (Yes I
        went spiritual). Ask God for his Grace to help you with this guilt and restore
        any lost trust back in your marriage. Bad Karma is only for those who lack
        wisdom to not change their misguided ways, because God’s Grace can help correct
        it all.

  • Cadrena Heard

    Ditto