Are You In Love With Love? Reasons Why Being A Romantic Can Ruin You

March 31, 2012  |  
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It sounds like such a harmless, even charming term: a hopeless romantic. But, ruminating all day on love, on a man, on images of a relationship can be destructive and, unfortunately, humiliating.  And that’s what you’ll be if you over prioritize men and love.

Here’s why….

You don’t let people go

Breakups last far longer for you than for any of your friends. Why? Because you believe in the nonsense concept of “the one.” You think trying to get someone back is the only good use of your time, when really all it is is a giant waste of your time. Life is short. And the stars will not align because there is no such thing. You have to work to find someone. But, the good news is, you can work to find someone. So, do it. And stop thinking you just lost someone that “fate” brought to you. Fate didn’t bring you him— did, or a bar, or a common friend. And they’ll bring you a man again.

Given an inch, you take a mile

You share a few witty sentences with a guy at a coffee shop, smiles across a room with someone at a bar, and then they vanish. And they’re all you can think about all day. You think, he was the one you were supposed to meet that night. So you close yourself off to the possibility of meeting someone else. Odds are, you weren’t even compatible with Mr. Nice Eyes across the bar.

Your relationship is your life

Your partner should be your “best friend.” To an extent, it’s true. But…that should be after years of being together. You take the sentiment too far and the second you’re paired up with someone, you ditch all your friends and all other activities to be glued to your partner’s side at all times.

You give too much, too soon

After just a few weeks of dating someone, you’re willing to spend hundreds of dollars on planning a surprise birthday party for him. You’re waiting at his home with a surprise meal you spent hours making for him. You assume men feel as strongly as you do right off the bat and end up scaring them away.

You don’t have your own life

When you’re single, you throw all your energy into finding someone new. You think the human’s purpose on this planet is to be paired up. So, you never set up your own life. You don’t pursue hobbies, or deep friendships, and you dig yourself into a hole where, you have no choice but to find a man. You have no life otherwise.

You’re prone to cheating and home wrecking

Since you buy into the idea of a soul mate, then when you believe a man is your soul mate, you believe you have more of a right to him than anyone, even his wife. You believe that love trumps all—that laws and rules don’t apply to love.

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  • Caroneisha

    Sorry but I am a hopeless romantic, and none of the things on this list apply to me. I’m not in love with being in love, that’s stupid. Being a hopeless romantic, is someone who wants something out of the ordinary, of what has become so common today. Like a man who is capable of being successful, hard-working, god- fearing, respectful, romantic, unafraid to love you like you should be, a gentleman who’s from the streets but has changed to be a better person type. Without all of the negative things attached like being a cheater, has too many kids, baby mama drama, always expecting a handout, being on the down-low, and what have you. He’s the good man that many believe are dead and gone. But hopeless romantic believes with all of our might that they are still out there. And we’re just waiting on when god sees fit to reveal him unto us. Untill then we’re working on bettering ourselves, changing bad attitudes, achieving our goals, or what have you. Preparing for when the time comes, so we’ll be ready. So back to the drawing board you go, to come up with actually facts. Not made-up theroies, or ill feelings your haboring for hopeless romantics. God bless!!!

  • NegRican24

    No but CLEARLY J.Lo is. 

  • Glamgirlceo10

    Thats my friend….the model!!! How funny is that

  • Bluekissess

    Jaustin, just because you’ve been in a couple of screw ups doesn’t mean that you can piss on someone else’s views on love. Nobody has the definition of love or how you should act towards it. Let people be. If a girl wants to be a hopeless romantic then let her. It’s to many rules about love, how you should act, what you should say etc. The only rule that should exist is LIVE YOUR LIFE the way you want it. Having all these “rules” & “standards” will make you miss out on living.

  • Misstae

    Love is stupid. Fuqq love.

    • Bluekissess

      Someone’s sour. It’ll get better it wasn’t meant to be 😉

  • lists like this are stupid you can be a hopeless romantic and have a long lasting relationship ask Joanne Woodward she’s the widow of a notorious hopeless romantic though they worked hard at their marriage as well

    • Yes i agree with you, but that type of hopeless romance doesn’t exist any more.That is the kind of love our parents or grandparents had.That is why they stayed married so long.  I call that kind of love mystical love. It’s the kind of love we all want, but the feelings have to be mutual not just one person so hung up on being love that it puts pressure on the other.  

      • Wrightroberto

        The type of love that most of oyr grandparents had entailed cheating and infidelity. some ppl dont want to put up with that. you can be a hopeless romantic and.not fit any of these characteristics by simply not giving up on love or being soured out on life due to your past relationships not resulting in marriage.

        • Bluekissess

          Love it

      • Bluekissess

        How do you know it doesn’t exist? Just because you haven’t seen it, felt it or been through it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. It only exist if we welcome it.

  • Those people who are in love with love never seem to be able to hold a mate. Why? They fall in love with every mate they meet. They tend to rush or force the love even when the other person hasn’t reached that place yet. They tend to snoop, constantly call, always want to be under you. It is not healthy. They can not get over the ended relationship and constantly call or beg for forgiveness. Unless their way of thinking changes, they will never be happy or have a healthy relationship. In all honesty, i believe  they can turn out to be a stalker.

  • 4CloverLeaf

    There is no such thing as love if the both of you don’t share that feeling.

  • LiiSH

    I cannot get with most people claiming to be hopeless romantics. :::eye roll::: They are really just fools in disguise. Real love isn’t settling or trying to force a situation to be right. If genuine love is your goal you will wait b/c love is patient. Often times people don’t allow themselves to get in the right situation b/c they can’t let go of the wrong one. Love is not hopping on the
    first crusty butt (wo)man you see and trying to make it right. (esp. when things clearly are not all good i.e. there is a lack of repect, comunication, common goals, mutaul feelings) Find
    someone to complement (literally to add in a way that enhances) your
    existence, then you will find something that cannot be broken.

  • Womanifesto

    This is so true. I’ve been guilty of this. I’m just now starting to change. You have to have a life in order for someone to share it with you.