Are You In Love With Love? Reasons Why Being A Romantic Can Ruin You

March 31, 2012  |  
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It sounds like such a harmless, even charming term: a hopeless romantic. But, ruminating all day on love, on a man, on images of a relationship can be destructive and, unfortunately, humiliating.  And that’s what you’ll be if you over prioritize men and love.

Here’s why….

You don’t let people go

Breakups last far longer for you than for any of your friends. Why? Because you believe in the nonsense concept of “the one.” You think trying to get someone back is the only good use of your time, when really all it is is a giant waste of your time. Life is short. And the stars will not align because there is no such thing. You have to work to find someone. But, the good news is, you can work to find someone. So, do it. And stop thinking you just lost someone that “fate” brought to you. Fate didn’t bring you him— did, or a bar, or a common friend. And they’ll bring you a man again.

Given an inch, you take a mile

You share a few witty sentences with a guy at a coffee shop, smiles across a room with someone at a bar, and then they vanish. And they’re all you can think about all day. You think, he was the one you were supposed to meet that night. So you close yourself off to the possibility of meeting someone else. Odds are, you weren’t even compatible with Mr. Nice Eyes across the bar.

Your relationship is your life

Your partner should be your “best friend.” To an extent, it’s true. But…that should be after years of being together. You take the sentiment too far and the second you’re paired up with someone, you ditch all your friends and all other activities to be glued to your partner’s side at all times.

You give too much, too soon

After just a few weeks of dating someone, you’re willing to spend hundreds of dollars on planning a surprise birthday party for him. You’re waiting at his home with a surprise meal you spent hours making for him. You assume men feel as strongly as you do right off the bat and end up scaring them away.

You don’t have your own life

When you’re single, you throw all your energy into finding someone new. You think the human’s purpose on this planet is to be paired up. So, you never set up your own life. You don’t pursue hobbies, or deep friendships, and you dig yourself into a hole where, you have no choice but to find a man. You have no life otherwise.

You’re prone to cheating and home wrecking

Since you buy into the idea of a soul mate, then when you believe a man is your soul mate, you believe you have more of a right to him than anyone, even his wife. You believe that love trumps all—that laws and rules don’t apply to love.

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