Is He Dating Other People? 7 Signs You’re One Of Many

March 20, 2012  |  
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It can’t be true. He seems to really like me. Do guys even do that anymore?? This is the typical reaction when a friend suggests that maybe that guy whose been dangling you along for months is juggling a couple other women. But, the guilty conscience associated with dating multiple people has been worn down over the years. We are serial casual daters. It is encouraged. And that means, monogamy has worn down too in the beginning stages of a “relationship.” Here’s how to know if you are one of many.

Answer is always “maybe”

Whenever you invite him to do something far in advance, his answer is always “maybe.” He doesn’t say, “Because I may have a work thing” or give an excuse. He just clearly doesn’t want to commit. If this only happens occasionally, you may not have to worry. But if it happens every time, he probably wants to see who else is available to go out that night, and choose based on favorites.

No sex

Things have been going great. You’ve been seeing each other for a while but, you somehow haven’t had sex. And you have tried. And you know he recognizes that you have tried. Some men feel guilty sleeping with multiple women. (Yup, they exist.)

Sex is sporadic

Men are humans too. Sex can be an intimate thing for them. Your guy might go in and out of feeling okay about sleeping with you. After a fabulous date when he feels really close to you and has forgotten about the other women, he may want to sleep with you. But, next time, if he oddly avoids sex, he might have just seen one of the other women the night before and feel confused.

He hasn’t shared much

He keeps the conversation going. You always have a great time but, if you think about it, he hasn’t given much personal information—nothing that would truly bond you. Men specifically hold back personal info from women they don’t want to lead on, since they know we’ll take that type of sharing as a sign they want to get serious with us.

He repeats himself

He tells you things he’s told you before. He asks you questions you’ve answered before. He either has a terrible memory, is a terrible listener, or he can’t keep all the info from all the different women straight.

Things are slow, but good

He doesn’t plan to see you often, but when he does he is all there. He seems interested in you. He is attentive. He plans a wonderful date. You’re thinking, “If he likes me so much, how come he doesn’t try to see me more?” The only answer to that can be, time. He doesn’t have more of it. And if he doesn’t talk about some crazy, hectic work or social schedule that eats up his time, it’s probably another woman (or a few).

If you threaten to end it…

He becomes desperate. He has a dozen excuses as to why he’s been moving slowly. He swears he likes you. If this guy was taking things slow just because he wasn’t that into you, he wouldn’t kick up a fuss about you ending it. But, if he is keeping you around while he decides who of many females is his best match, he won’t want you off the roster.

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  • Anon

    Thank you so much! These were the same things I was really questioning about my guy. While we both started out casually seeing other people we had decided to be exclusive by this point in time but he clearly hasn’t stopped. Time for a conversation.

  • Pingback: A Cheating Man: 7 Signs You’re One Of Many! | 105.9 Kiss-FM()

  • Well you can always just ask too, but these are interesting tips too.

  • Benz

    What is wrong with a man dating multiple women when there is no relationship. At the end of the day, you two are not in a relationship, so why put all your eggs in one basket. I am a woman and I am not going to complain if a guy I am dating is seeing other women because he is probably not the only guy I am seeing either. Now, once we are in a defined relationship, seeing others is a no no, but dating is dating.

  • Nope

    Or the #1 reason….. he’s not in a relationship with you, therefore owes you nothing.

  • Now single and looking

    Wow. This is spot effin on. 

  • ……

    Sorry, I can’t buy half this crap. This sounds like a insecure woman blabbing on about if this and if that. If you suspect he is cheating, then more than likely he is. These are not ‘clues’ or ‘signs’. These are insecure games SOME/MOST women play. Stop making things harder than they are. Geesh…….


    Ok so some men feel guilty sleeping with multiple women and some men get confused. Believe that and I have some oceanfront property in Arizona that I want you to consider buying.

  • Anon

    So wait we don’t all date more than 1 person at a time, weed them out, and get serious with the one we like most? I thought everyone did that, male and female.

    • Diso98

      No we don’t. I never have been able to do that neither do I desire to date multiple men at the same time. Then again I’m really picky.

  • Lapandalove

    This was really on point and accurate.

  • I hate to say it, but until you two get serious and he shows no shady signals, always assume there’s another woman until he proves otherwise. Keep your dating options open until you know it’s for real. I had to learn the hard way.

    • You are definitely right, most women wouldn’t dare say what you just said.

    • tyler

       just goes to prove the old saying… never put all your eggs in 1 basket. Don’t be no fool…

  • Galenafiel

    Hmmmmm…  explains a few things. Thanks, jaustin.