Why I Don’t Sext: Unsolicited Pics of Private Parts

20 comments
March 15, 2012 ‐ By

If there’s one thing I have zero tolerance for, it’s sexting. Asking me to send you a picture when I just met you two hours ago is a surefire way to get your number deleted. I have no interest in sending my lady parts to a stranger for the viewing pleasure of him or his friends so that one day when I try to make something of my life that picture comes back to haunt me and my career is over (dramatic I know). But there’s an even bigger issue that has traumatized me from the world of sexting: the dreaded, unsolicited penis pic.

There is nothing, and I mean nothing, worse than seeing a text pop up from a guy you like only to randomly be greeted by his mini-me.  It’s not so much the lack of aesthetic appeal that bothers me, although that does play into it some, it always seems to be the weirdos you shouldn’t have given your number to in the first place that think sending a pic of their little man is going to woo you. Um, no thanks. And even when it comes to men you do like, sharing pics is all good if you’re into it, but at the very least, give me a heads up (pun intended). From the moment you send a man any type of suggestive photo he thinks it’s open season to flood your inbox with penis pics and that’s why I’m not going there in the first place.

Because I’ve virtually weaved all d*ick pic-ing out of my life, my entertainment now comes from friends. Literally in the past week I’ve received at least two picture messages with the text DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS THREAD and I already knew what it was. Sure enough when the pic downloaded I was looking at a forwarded photo of some man who had never met me a day in his life, yet here I was staring at his member while my friend and I scrutinized length, width, pigmentation, and any other characteristic we could squeeze out of a low-res jpg on a smart phone. SMH. Any wonder why I don’t sext? If women are sharing pictures of men’s privates there’s no way a photo I send some man is really “just for me, baby.”

But the worst pics have come from another friend of mine who seems to have a knack for men who like to make repeated below the belt picture violations. I’ll never forget the day she sprung a penis photo of a man who appeared to have vitiligo on me. In everyday life no one cares if you have a skin condition that causes you to lose pigmentation. In the sexting world, you need to preface a picture of a two-tone penis with an explanation. Then there was the photo of the man she literally labeled “toddler penis” that essentially made me say, if you’re working with something that small you need to keep that to yourself and pray that when it comes down to do the deed you won’t get turned away. I mean the last thing you want to do is photo yourself out of sex. Then there was another “gentleman” who trumped everyone else when he sent much more than a photo. Trust me, there’s nothing like an unsolicited video of a man pleasing himself to ruin your entire morning. And just to clarify, none of these men were her boyfriend, and she couldn’t have known them for more than a couple of months, if that. And unfortunately, the ages ranged from 20s to early thirties. Gag me.

So, with unsolicited package pic-ing being nearly unanimously deemed undesirable by women, why do men still do it?! It must have something to do with the fact that most men want women to send them photos so they think, well of course she wants one from me too. Trust me, women will let you know if they want it. The other problem is they’re not reading Askmen.com because if they were they would know to think before they send, because what this writer says will happen if a man sends an unrequested pic is absolutely, 100% the truth:

  • Initially, sexting pictures of your penis will frighten and upset her.
  • Her anger will turn into her mocking you and your penis.
  • Be prepared to have your sext forwarded to her girlfriends for judgment.

In other words, just don’t do it.

Have you had any unsolicited package pic-ing drama? Do you prefer to send or receive sexts or are you against it altogether?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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  • JD

    I have never received such a photo and if I ever do it will be a problem, especially when I don’t know you.  I will go the nearest precinct and file a harrassment complaint.  That’s what sending naked unsolicited photographs are, sexual harassment.  If I do know you and didn’t request the photo, WE ARE OVER!!!!  I really feel that there is something lacking upstairs with a person who feels it’s okay to send unsolicited bare naked photos of their body parts to someone you barely know!! Instead of spending your money on a monthly cell phone plan, use it for therapy!!!

  • Ifuaskme2

    Can I get a AMEN!

  • http://twitter.com/JessMahogany J Griffin

    I’ve had this happen to me and what makes it so bad is that this guy was a 10+ year friend. We are both married and I was pregnant with my son at the time. So I was walking in the mall and I got a few random text messages. I check them and I was in awe because not only did I receive a pee-pee picture but I also receive a picture of his wife’s bobbies and a picture of one of our mutual friends boobies!! I was like SERIOUSLY?!?! Needless to say I changed my phone number, told my husband when I got home, blocked him on Facebook, and never had a conversation with him again!! It’s kind of offensive especially when you’ve been friends for so long.

  • FAMURattler85

    I’ve gotten several of these throughout my young adulthood. I never understood why some dudes do that. If a guy sends me an unsolicited d*ck pic, he better believe that I will be showing it to my friends. He deserves to be put on blast for assuming that I get down like that. That ish is not cute whatsoever and it ensures his spot on the “crazy and thirsty dude list”.

  • Kellz

    It never fails after a conversation or two or after the first date I always get the d*ck pics or the bathroom mirror pics on my ride home. Men now a days just assume I am into that kind of stuff and I mean I am with my man not just some random azz dude..

  • guest

    The same thing happened to me, met this guy through a mutual friend, had nice conversation on the phone and was texting each other for two months but didn’t actually went on a real date because of schedule conflict, but we met face to face. One day he send me a picture of his private part, I was going around showing that picture to all my girlfriends and laughing at the pic. Hey don’t get me wrong he was packing but I was still offended so I confronted him he told me that I was a big girl and what’s wrong sending his woman a picture and for me to send him one, he was cut off after that.

  • guest

    The same thing happened to me, met this guy through a mutual friend, had nice conversation on the phone and was texting each other for two months but didn’t actually went on a real date because of schedule conflict, but we met face to face. One day he send me a picture of his private part, I was going around showing that picture to all my girlfriends and laughing at the pic. Hey don’t get me wrong he was packing but I was still offended so I confronted him he told me that I was a big girl and what’s wrong sending his woman a picture and for me to send him one, he was cut off after that.

  • Carmelcup

    Lmao at “the below the belt violations!” Thank goodness, I can honestly say I have not ever had someone send me these. In the past, I have sent a few to a guy I was thoroughly dating. But They were always crop shots just in case anything went awry.

  • Carmelcup

    Lmao at “the below the belt violations!” Thank goodness, I can honestly say I have not ever had someone send me these. In the past, I have sent a few to a guy I was thoroughly dating. But They were always crop shots just in case anything went awry.

  • Knoel76

    !I had that to happen to me about 2 yrs ago. I met this guy thru a mutual friend. I hadn’t met him in person but I told my friend it was ok to give him my number. The guy called me. I then saw I got a text and it was a closeup pic of his wee wee. I hadn’t even met him yet! It took me a minute to process that. I was like ‘is that what I think it is?’ I quikly deleted it. My friend confronted him about it. The guy left a message apologizing but I couldn’t bring myself to call him back.

  • Knoel76

    !I had that to happen to me about 2 yrs ago. I met this guy thru a mutual friend. I hadn’t met him in person but I told my friend it was ok to give him my number. The guy called me. I then saw I got a text and it was a closeup pic of his wee wee. I hadn’t even met him yet! It took me a minute to process that. I was like ‘is that what I think it is?’ I quikly deleted it. My friend confronted him about it. The guy left a message apologizing but I couldn’t bring myself to call him back.

    • Kellz

      Disgusting…

  • Mls2698

    Receiving those kind of pics leads to an explanation of the character of the recipient. No man would ever send that to me because I have a straight up attitude, and a “don’t play” mannerism. But the overtly flirty (in person or via text) woman may definitely receive the dirty mail. It just becomes p*** when someone starts grading the ding-a-lings.

    • SultryOne

      That logic is like saying a woman who was raped by a man was raped because of her flirtatious personality & because of that she asked for it. Keep in mind that this technology didn’t always exist so to say it speaks to the character of the woman is a bit naive, especially when she never asked nor expected such behavior. Come on now, place the accountability where it lies…

  • Mls2698

    Receiving those kind of pics leads to an explanation of the character of the recipient. No man would ever send that to me because I have a straight up attitude, and a “don’t play” mannerism. But the overtly flirty (in person or via text) woman may definitely receive the dirty mail. It just becomes p*** when someone starts grading the ding-a-lings.

  • Tish1969

    Ok……if a woman is so offended about a man sending photos of his body parts to her then why would she turn around and send them to her girlfriends as if they wouldn’t possibly be offended as well?  That makes her no better than he is.  If she doesn’t like them, just delete them and ask him to refrain from doing it again.  Don’t be a child and send them to your friends so that all of you can sit around and mock him.  Grow up….no real women would do that.  I hope people who read this don’t think that this article speaks for all women and what they would do.

    • sweettea

      *hanging my head in shame*. If some random guy sent me a picture of his shlong I wouldn’t think twice about sharing it with all my friends. I know it’s mean but if I didn’t ask for it why’d you send it? Once you send it it’s mine to use as I see fit.

      • Candacey Doris

        And that’s why there’s no way in H3ll i’d sext anyone. Ever.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_SCV2NFHLMLXKJSLD3UC5BCOAJ4 Lady Jane

    My ex had a whole shoe box of pictures of ladies “stuff”. I found it after we were divorced and I was cleaning out his junk. I can tell you I was shocked to no end (no pun intended) There were no faces just the body part…Whew!!! It made a great fire. What got me was he never had the nerve to ask had I found it. SMH

    • http://twitter.com/JessMahogany J Griffin

      He might have been scared to ask for it back LOL!!!

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