Well yes I agree that “most” women like myself used to see the POTENTIAL of a man and not for what he really is!  That is the major problem and we have to stop ruining ourselves thinking it will be better if we SAVE them from themselves!  Don’t waste your time!  The way he was then, is most likely the way he is now..! It doesn’t get better when you have kids together either, it gets worse because now you have complicated the matter of issues he had…..Remember this and NEVER forget this: Men are the head of the household and the hunters/providers/protectors so they have to come to the plate and be about something! You will not be happy supporting any grown man or taking his man-hood away because you think it will benefit you to have him literally under you in that way to have control….I don’t think you would want to be manipulated like that right?  So ladies/women and gents, Don’t look at a man you think has potential, if he doesn’t already have it (and I’m not speaking materialistically) as a good man with integrity, then we are wasting out time and the men have to go back to school to learn some new social habits to be with the women of their dreams if they themselves want a good woman…We want a man in our lives not a child we have to train or raise. We want to share our lives with a man, not baby-sit someone else’s boy!  Do Not Settle for Less than what he is giving you to work with! Would you want a $500 allowance or a $50 spending allowance from your man every month? It’s just a question…and it not necessarily about money, it’s all about what he got to work with in the very beginning!

Like the Bible says in Proverbs 31:23/New International Version (©1984) Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land. A wife can be a tremendous influence for good or
for ill; nevertheless the husband is responsible before God to live rightly
regardless of the spiritual and moral state of his spouse.  If a man fails
spiritually, it is first and foremost his fault.  He must not blame anyone
but himself.  His wife may be a negative influence, but he is responsible
to follow God, not her.  Think of the example of Job.  His wife said,
“Curse God and die!” but in spite of her negative influence, Job remained
faithful to the Lord.  “Behind every good man is a good woman” is not
always true.  “Behind every good man is a great God!”

A few words from a male’s perspective. Some of these are absolutely true. Some should be judged on an individual level. The one about always feeling wronged by people is spot on. I’ve dealt with ths with my current girlfriend. I call it playing the victim role. I love her. She is an incredible person but that part of her personality really rubs me the wrong way. It isn’t something that I would leave for but it is something I wish she would stop doing.

The one about not having friends is tricky. People can outgrow friends. I just commented to my girl the other day how I visited an old friend and the whole conversation was about women in the clubs and sex and women in the grocery store and what he would do to this woman and he wants this dudes wife and he met this chick and he slept with that chick and his baby momma is a stupid bleep. That is most of my so called friends. They say birds of a feather flock together. I usually fly solo. I’m too over my old friends and too old to be trying to make new ones. That doesn’t mean my girl can’t go places without me.

The family thing is a doozy. Both of my parents passed before I met my girl. My parents were the best. My girl on the other hand is kind of a different story. Her mother is nothing nice. She is a mess. Schitzo, manic depressed, bipolar. My girl is the only one who still tries to have a relationship with her. She has burned so many bridges that no one else wants to deal with her. She is one of those people who believes that her only responsibility as a mother was to give birth. I try to stay out of it but I hate the way she intentionally tries to upset my girl. I try to tell my girl that it is one thing to have respect for your mother but she has to also respect you as a grown woman. You are not her child anymore. You are her daughter. She has put her hands on my girl but my girl would not defend herself. She just takes s*** off of her mother. That is the thing that I am most weary of. I fear that one day she could be like her mother and it ABSOLUTELY SCARES ME.

Is he quiet around your male friends? I am. I’m usually quiet around people I don’t know. I just don’t seem to share the same interest as a lot of guys. They talk music, it’s Jay Z and Kanye. I talk music its Pharoahe Monch, Jay Elec, Common etc. They talk movies. I talk books. They talk twitter beefs and celeb gossip. I talk injustice and how to improve the plight of our people. They talk BS and I’d rather talk business.

 The last one, he is quiet around your male friends, the response on
why this is so is comical. Yes guys are territorial, but as a guy I’m
odd. I don’t waste time on cheap talk which the vast majority of guys do
esp. if it’s the first meet or two. I don’t care nothing for sports
talk, car talk. I talk stocks, M&A, politics, increasing my wealth.
Most “GUYS” are boys. Even my male associates i hardly hang out with, all
they want to do is party and chase young girls, or complain about
females 24/7. Well I am turning 30 this year, I have full
custody of my child, two college degrees and I now own a business, ohh
i’m also introverted. Most of my own male friends can’t relate to this
or my drive, so what I am saying is this, if you bring your guy around
your male friends make sure 300% they will even mesh. If your male
friends are clearly little boys this will actually reflect poorly on
you!