7 Dating Patterns Many Women Fall Into

24 comments
March 13, 2012 ‐ By Julia Austin

Everybody has patterns. If you think you don’t have one, then your pattern might just be constantly fighting not to do the same thing you did in all of your previous relationships, which is a pattern in itself. Falling into these patterns might be slowing you down in your search for Mr. Right:

"Man whispering in woman's ear"

madamenoire.com

Misunderstanding comfort
Have you ever met someone you feel oddly comfortable with right off the bat? You somehow have them figured out already—you know what makes them laugh, what not to say around them, and there is instant chemistry. And you can’t quite put your finger on why. Often it’s because he has certain traits (the bad traits) your ex had, and nearly every ex before that, and you aren’t picking up on them yet. All you’re picking up on is the chemistry, because that chemistry is strong. But don’t let it be overpowering. If you feel an instant click with someone, ask yourself, “Is he similar to my ex?”

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  • curiousmind13

    That’s true i just met a guy like that!!! I’m almost positive he’s seeing other women,I don’t care because i just met him i don’nt know him and i have’nt slept with him.And i probably won’t but if i do that’s’ on me right!!!!

  • curiousmind13

    Anyone different than my ex that ‘s ok!!

  • curiousmind13

    Anyone different than my ex that ‘s ok!!

  • curiousmind13

    I get so sick and tired of hearing that crap about waiting to date!Or it’s just too soon after a break up.I was in a relationship with a mentally ill sexliss, ungrateful emotionally unavailaible freak,Where communication was non exsitant for years!!!! when i finall had the nerve to leave this person we had nothing even close to a relationshp going on.So months later i could’nt not wait to meet a real man!!!Your damn right i started dating that was he best self esteem booster for me,Not that i wanted jump in and try to fall in love right away i just wanted to feel like a human being again and a woman and start living my life.Everyone is not the same for some people it make take years to really get over a bad relationship!!But for others we see the ending of a bad situation as a new begining at a new life with fun and adventure!!Not sitting aroun feeling sorry for ourselves and mourning the living.

  • http://twitter.com/djnovajade Tera N. Jade Greene

    *poetic finger snaps*

  • FromUR2UB

    I don’t agree with the ‘Forgetting Excitement’ page, because if a woman has to wonder why a guy hasn’t called her back, then I would say that guy is not for her.  Some people may find ambivalence in a relationship “exciting”, but it just sounds like unnecessary drama to me, and someone playing with the woman. This also seems contradictory to pages 1 and 7.    

  • Tinker

    OMG The first one is soo true! Met a guy recently that I clicked with right off. He was protective and caring but a but too possessive and needy for my liking. Turned out he was just like my ex, protective but often jealous and controlling, and also a chronic cheater.

  • MixedUpInVegas

    Some of these observations are about settling; settling for a man who is comfortable but has no spark, settling for a man who really isn’t interested in you and so on.  There’s nothing wrong with settling for a short period of time but if you’re actively seeking a life partner, you’ll know in your heart when a relationship isn’t going to be what you are looking for. It is a personal choice as to how long you are willing to be distracted by so little in a relationship.

    Other observations are about trying to act OK when you’re still hurting inside. It is hard to imagine how moping around when you are lonely and feeling empty will make things better; swinging the pendulum too far in the opposite direction can be OK if no ill comes of it.  You still will feel lonely and empty, though, when that manic phase has passed.  The passage of time and the learning from mistakes is probably not a process that can be cut short.

  • MixedUpInVegas

    Some of these observations are about settling; settling for a man who is comfortable but has no spark, settling for a man who really isn’t interested in you and so on.  There’s nothing wrong with settling for a short period of time but if you’re actively seeking a life partner, you’ll know in your heart when a relationship isn’t going to be what you are looking for. It is a personal choice as to how long you are willing to be distracted by so little in a relationship.

    Other observations are about trying to act OK when you’re still hurting inside. It is hard to imagine how moping around when you are lonely and feeling empty will make things better; swinging the pendulum too far in the opposite direction can be OK if no ill comes of it.  You still will feel lonely and empty, though, when that manic phase has passed.  The passage of time and the learning from mistakes is probably not a process that can be cut short.

  • Nospam

    Two words for the people on the motorcycle w/o helmets: organ donors.

    • perplexed

      YEEEEEEEEEES!

  • CA Pullen

    Some of these are double standards.  Some men do the same thing for example jump into another relationships before healing from the previous ones.

    • Mariah

      It seems men are always given the “it’s what guys do” pass when they behave questionably.  The women, on the other hand, are viewed as having low self-esteem, crazy, love addicts, etc.  I’m at at point now where I’m like EFF men and what they think and what they like and don’t like. 

  • MissBliss

    i read this and feel so proud of myself. i used to present these awful habits but i have grown far away from them. My standards are set high but after reading this i’ve noticed that they aren’t unrealisitic just b/c i haven’t found what i want in a man.

  • puddingpop

    A personally enjoy these articles. I think some people just look into things way too much.

  • Wow

    Isn’t this the Love section of MadameNoire, so wouldn’t they need to talk about relationships?

  • Writer’s Paradise

    They waste way too much time on women’s dating mistakes. They’re on that “if black women weren’t so stupid, they’d have a man” bandwagon because it sells advertising. Mobilizing women around critical issues, might be a threat to those dollars. Even if they continue to post dating and relationship content, at least make it smarter by backing it with legitimate scholarly findings expert opinions, not just a few words and pictures from the best blogger who just happened to be available on Tuesday.

    • ChiciteeCheckinMyself!

       I see where you’re coming from coming from but appreciate this article too. I’m needin to Check Myself on the last two habits afrementioned–without extensive scholastic statistics to validate the revelence. As an aspiring writer; may I share (without the Associated Press’ validation)—that as an asiring writer yourself; you’ll win far more fans without crticizing a blog [w] obviously like!

      • Chiciteecheckingmyself

         oops misspelled aspiring and meant to post [we] @ last line

  • Mdal28

    Ugh God in a nut shell our generation is screwed when it comes to dating. There are more quality woman then there are men. It doesnt matter where you are, what color your skin is-its a long lasting endless pit of hopelessness. End of story!

  • Narie80

    Relationships effect our politics and health.

  • Writer’s Paradise

    I wish Madame Noire would talk about more issues of substance, like politics, women’s health and other more significant topics. 

    • Ashley

      Maybe you shouldn’t be in the “Love” section if you’d rather read about other topics….

  • Whoisbsquared

    …………….PRAY 4 ME CUZ I SEEN ALOT OF TRAITS THAT I HAVE N THAT ARTICLE……….NOT GOOD

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