Do You Boo Boo: Why It’s Good To Act Single In A Relationship

June 26, 2012  |  
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Know a friend whose boyfriend is her life? It seems like she has the word “Girlfriend” flashing over her head. No decision is just her own. No action is just her own. There of course needs to be a certain amount of compromise and sacrifice for a relationship to work, but some is just too much and can actually distance you and your man, and make you feel like you’re losing your sense of self. Here’s how to keep the balance—yes, these sound surprisingly like single behavior:

Leave him out

You want to bring your man everywhere, but some things should be sacred. A group you get drinks with once a week, a book club, a spot you go park your car in when you need to sit—whatever is sacred to you and you believe makes you who you are—choose at least one of these things and leave your boyfriend out of it. For two reasons: 1) If you ever break up, that spot will be forever spoiled for you if you once brought your man there and 2) Sometimes you need some mental space, and it’s important to remember who you are as an individual—out of the couple.

Dress hot without him

No, you’re not going to hook up with someone else. You’re probably not even going to really flirt with anyone else; but don’t think that just because your man won’t be there; you don’t have to (or shouldn’t) look good. You should dress up, even without him, because the ego boost you get from other guys gawking at you and hitting on you is important. It makes you feel hot and confident, which your man will be attracted to and should you and your man (God forbid) be headed towards a breakup, having others hit on you reminds you, “I still got it. And there are plenty of guys out here who want it!”


Prioritize friends

You need girl’s nights. Women get major serotonin boosts when they are together. Translation: they make each other feel super happy! Also, you need to have a place where you can share stories about your relationship and hear others’ stories. It keeps you having a balanced perspective on your relationship. Hearing the relationship stories of your friends may make you feel super grateful for your own, or may make you realize there is something truly wrong with yours that you didn’t realize was a problem before!


Do something wild

Join that wet t-shirt contest, get that lap dance, ride that mechanical bull. Don’t say, “That’s for single people.” Keeping your wild side alive will keep your man super attracted to you. Many men feel their girlfriends become much more tranquil once in a relationship, and don’t like it. They wonder, “Where did that fun girl go that I got involved with?”

Consider every job

Hear about a job in another town, state or even country that you are seriously drawn to? Don’t pass up that brochure or info session because your man lives here. You only live once. Make it long distance for a while. See if your man can go with you. If anything, keep those jobs in mind for the future. If you two break up, you’ll have a new adventure to direct your thoughts and energy towards

Act like it’s a one-night stand

When you sleep with someone and you believe it will be a one-night stand, you pull out all the stops. You want to try all sorts of positions and tricks you’ve picked up. You let loose. The letting loose dynamic can die out in a long term relationship, after you’ve both figured out how to orgasm easily and quickly. But, you’ll feel more attracted to each other if you still try to give your man a wild time in the bedroom. He will look at you the next day (or next few days ) thinking, “I am dating that?! I am lucky.” You’ll give him something to fantasize about, and that will keep you too closer.

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