Do You Boo Boo: Why It’s Good To Act Single In A Relationship

June 26, 2012  |  

Know a friend whose boyfriend is her life? It seems like she has the word “Girlfriend” flashing over her head. No decision is just her own. No action is just her own. There of course needs to be a certain amount of compromise and sacrifice for a relationship to work, but some is just too much and can actually distance you and your man, and make you feel like you’re losing your sense of self. Here’s how to keep the balance—yes, these sound surprisingly like single behavior:

"Woman sitting on the beach"

hellobeautiful.com

Leave him out

You want to bring your man everywhere, but some things should be sacred. A group you get drinks with once a week, a book club, a spot you go park your car in when you need to sit—whatever is sacred to you and you believe makes you who you are—choose at least one of these things and leave your boyfriend out of it. For two reasons: 1) If you ever break up, that spot will be forever spoiled for you if you once brought your man there and 2) Sometimes you need some mental space, and it’s important to remember who you are as an individual—out of the couple.

"Woman putting on lipstick"

inmagine.com

Dress hot without him

No, you’re not going to hook up with someone else. You’re probably not even going to really flirt with anyone else; but don’t think that just because your man won’t be there; you don’t have to (or shouldn’t) look good. You should dress up, even without him, because the ego boost you get from other guys gawking at you and hitting on you is important. It makes you feel hot and confident, which your man will be attracted to and should you and your man (God forbid) be headed towards a breakup, having others hit on you reminds you, “I still got it. And there are plenty of guys out here who want it!”

"Women drinking cocktails"

blog.timesunion.com

 

Prioritize friends

You need girl’s nights. Women get major serotonin boosts when they are together. Translation: they make each other feel super happy! Also, you need to have a place where you can share stories about your relationship and hear others’ stories. It keeps you having a balanced perspective on your relationship. Hearing the relationship stories of your friends may make you feel super grateful for your own, or may make you realize there is something truly wrong with yours that you didn’t realize was a problem before!

"Woman riding mechanical bull"

adrants.com

 

Do something wild

Join that wet t-shirt contest, get that lap dance, ride that mechanical bull. Don’t say, “That’s for single people.” Keeping your wild side alive will keep your man super attracted to you. Many men feel their girlfriends become much more tranquil once in a relationship, and don’t like it. They wonder, “Where did that fun girl go that I got involved with?”

"Business woman"

essence.com

Consider every job

Hear about a job in another town, state or even country that you are seriously drawn to? Don’t pass up that brochure or info session because your man lives here. You only live once. Make it long distance for a while. See if your man can go with you. If anything, keep those jobs in mind for the future. If you two break up, you’ll have a new adventure to direct your thoughts and energy towards

"Man kissing woman on the neck"

iamcocoa.com

Act like it’s a one-night stand

When you sleep with someone and you believe it will be a one-night stand, you pull out all the stops. You want to try all sorts of positions and tricks you’ve picked up. You let loose. The letting loose dynamic can die out in a long term relationship, after you’ve both figured out how to orgasm easily and quickly. But, you’ll feel more attracted to each other if you still try to give your man a wild time in the bedroom. He will look at you the next day (or next few days ) thinking, “I am dating that?! I am lucky.” You’ll give him something to fantasize about, and that will keep you too closer.

More on Madame Noire!

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Pingback: 彼氏アリでも、気を抜かない!女子として心がけておきたいこと5選 | 女子力アップCafe Googirl()

  • AJ

    This article is just…. ridiculous! It started with a great premise: keep yourself a whole person even if you are part of a pair. And then it proceded to give advice from the viewpoint of “in case you break up” on every single point! If you live as if you are afraid of a breakup, I can almost guarantee that’s where you’ll end up!

  • naoma

    Site is very difficult to access. Wish it were easier. I have so much mail I lose time.

  • naoma

    Why can’t we call MEN over the age of 21 something other than “boyfriend.” — Significant Other (SO?) Boyfriend sounds so JUVENILE, Just asking!

  • Pingback: A Nite 2 Remember Lingerie & Boutique :: Do You Boo Boo: Why It’s Good To Act Single In A Relationship :: http://anite2rememberlingerie.net/wordpress()

  • D. Rose in the paint

    silly chicks are always using tricks and methods for
    relationships….how about developing decent personalities and
    staying in some kind of shape.

  • curiosity.killed.the.cat

    Join that wet t-shirt contest, get that lap dance, ride that mechanical bull. Don’t say, “That’s for single people.” Keeping your wild side alive will keep your man super attracted to you. Many men feel their girlfriends become much more tranquil once in a relationship, and don’t like it. They wonder, “Where did that fun girl go that I got involved with?”….::side eye:: this is dumb advice. go ahead and do a wet t-shirt contest and get a lap dance while someone videotapes it, puts it online, and shows your man/ woman. Then after that, explain it and see how much conflict will ensue. there is a time and place for everything.

  • This isn’t the only article on Madame Noire that I have read where is sounded like a child wrote it.

    This one isn’t as bad as some of the others but that “I’m Young and Dumb” sentiment oozes from each and every reason given. This may be applicable to a select few but some of this, such as dressing up (to put it politely) can be a recipe for disaster.

    But like I said, I really don’t’ take issue with the article as it sounds like Madame Noire is trying to appeal to a younger and “dumber” audience with this type of “advice”.

  • Dont Worry, Be Happy

    Wow, this is really great advice that I needed to hear before I embarked down that path once again!!

  • quest

    I gotta a sister like that. She talks about his house, car and other materalistic items he has as if they are her items. Nobody in the family wants to be around her due to this.

  • BDG

    Madame Noire get it together, this all could have been on one page !! I know ya’ll gotta pay to run the website with advertisements but this is becoming annoying !! Anyways I totally agree, nothing’s worse than the girl who centers her life around her boyfriend, they annoy the f*ck outta me. My college roommate was like that

    • yes, these sound surprisingly like single behavior:..DemoforFrank.blogspot.com

    • cin

      ditto and spell check needed!