Karrine Steffans, Please Have a Seat and Delete Your Twitter Account While You’re at It

March 7, 2012  |  

 

For some women, marriage changes their lives. For others, they’re still the same old you know what with a rock on their ring finger. Karrine Steffans is the latter.

I haven’t thought much about Superhead and her vixen confessions since she aired her and every man in the music industry’s dirty laundry in her best-selling tell-all in 2005. Now the former video chick seems to be back to her old ways of putting people on blast, except this time the victim appears to be her husband, and her words are even more disrespectful than in her book.

Yesterday, Karrine went on a wild Twitter rant about how “sometimes, in relationships, the pleasure is all theirs,” with a non-stop series of one-liner shots that just kept hitting lower and lower beneath the belt. While Karrine never specifically mentioned her husband, whom she married last year and “announced” she was pregnant by when she uploaded a picture of a positive pregnancy test to her Tumblr, at some points the tweets were so personal and applicable, you can’t help but think she was sending the most emasculating and disrespectful message ever sent to a man on a social network. Here’s just a small sample of the things she said:

I’m tired of being your upgrade.

We are not equally yoked.

You really deserve someone more basic.

I’m tired of pretending your mediocracy is okay with me.

I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss G650′s.

I’m tired of pretending you’re not a burden.

I’m tired of pretending I don’t deserve a f***ing BOSS!

I’m tired of you driving my car.

Stop telling me you love me as if you’re doing me some sort of favor.

I don’t need you to love me. I love me.

I’m tired of pretending like you shouldn’t be intimidated by the other men in my life. Cuz you should.

I’m tired of pretending as if I support your bullshit dreams.

I’m tired of pretending your d*** isn’t the smallest d*** I’ve ever seen in my life. Cuz it is.

I’m tired of pretending your favorite rapper didn’t just beat it up on Friday.

I’m tired of paying for everything.

Summer is on the way, n****. You already know what’s up.

*drops mic, walks off stage*

Unfortunately, Karrine picked her mic back up with an encore rant that included “I’m tired of having to pretend you’re not the 3rd worst decision I’ve ever made,” and “You should really be with that one chick who bagged our groceries this weekend. That’s more your speed.”

Um this all sounds pretty specific to Karrine’s average Joe husband, the past ballers she used to date, and her ongoing admiration of Lil Wayne. I’m sure some of you are thinking, what do we expect from this chic, and the rest are like, hey, she told it like it is. I’m still trying to figure out how someone managed to put a ring on it after she exposed her nasty past and had a relationship with Bill Maher and “Eddie Winslow”—and why she fails to realize she’s not such a hot catch herself.

Since Karrine’s TMI session has caught more eyeballs than expected, and nearly doubled her followers, she’s made it a point to say she never mentioned her husband, although she adds, “I can’t deny or confirm that fact, not on twitter.” She also says “My job is to entertain,” but she didn’t have to tell us that. We’re well aware of her former life as an “entertainer” and how she turned the story of entertaining men into a book deal that has her sitting pretty nicely, who’s to say this whole slew of foolishness isn’t a precursor to the book she says is coming this summer and refuses to confirm whether it’s fact or fiction.

Regardless of whether these tweets are rooted in pure reality or just PR, who would want to be her husband right now—or period? Karrine has already been caught in Twitterversy flirting with Lil Wayne, whom she had a relationship with in the past, and she made a provocative little video discussing how she is in love with him and always will be last month—post nuptials. If I was her husband I would be going HAM about that rapper beating it up line right now. Despite whatever this attention-needing vixen’s goal is, some things you just don’t do out of respect. And for all the ladies giving Karrine e-high fives and acting like her rant is the best thing in the world, remember these words of wisdom: Don’t try this at home. No man is going for this and there is nothing cute about exposing your real or made-up business on a social network, especially to that extent because all you’re really doing is exposing yourself.

Karrine did drop one piece of knowledge her likely soon-to-be-ex hubby should take to heart: “You should have Googled me sooner.” I bet he realizes what he got himself into now.

Do you think Karrine was really throwing shots at her husband or was she just looking for attention? Does her husband have a right to be mad either way?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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