Where Have All The Good Black Men Gone?

March 8th, 2012 - By Charing Ball

I work as a community organizer working in one of those types of neighborhoods that we regularly see on the news or read about in the paper. We have drugs, we have homicides, and we have starving families and parentless children absent from school. But despite the sheer hopelessness of the situation, we also have committed folks, who do care about their neighborhoods. They want to make it better. And they spent a great deal of time in the neighborhood working through block clubs, town watches, neighborhood clean ups, home and school associations, truancy prevention and other activities for the youth.

The problem is that in many of these cases, these wishful and often helpless residents are mostly women. I see it played out every single day. I can call a meeting and 8 out of 10 of the attendees will be women.  They are manning the townwatch groups, shouldering the cleanliness of their community and doing the lion’s share of the work to keep the community afloat. What that suggests to me is that the effects of the conspicuously missing Black male is felt not only in individual households but in entire communities of color which are now mostly matriarchal.  So where are the men?

Well the mass incarceration of people of color through the War on Drugs explains part of their absence.  While some black colleges have up to 70% female populations, our country’s prisons are filled to capacity with hundreds of thousands of black men, who have largely been locked away with mandatory minimum sentences for drug crimes that are mostly ignored when committed by whites. This criminalization, for many, began as young black boys; black males face much harsher discipline in public schools than other students. According to statistics provided by the Civil Rights Data Collection, while Black children make up only 18 percent of those enrolled in the schools sampled, they accounted for 35 percent of those suspended once, 46 percent of those suspended more than once and 39 percent of all expulsions.

But while the prisons have claimed a large portion of our Black males, there is a certain disengaged interest in the mindset of those men, who are educated and successful. Those men, who are in a better position to influence, uplift and guide the minds of these young men are noticeably absent from the front lines.  And they have taken their influence, financial security and knowledge with them right out of the very spaces, which could offer the most good.

The absence of educated, financially astute, black role models is most evident by the big push from the country’s Education Secretary Arne Duncan, who toured historically Black colleges and universities in hope to fill the void of Black male teachers in our public schools. Likewise, officials at the Big Brother program have too been pushing to get Black men involved in their mentoring programs.  Right now, only 14 percent of all Big Brother mentors are Black.

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  • Vonniebaby_2000

    The TRUTH of the matter is that this world as we know it is coming to an end and it has to. God is not going to stand for much more of the ignorance, selfishness, disrepect,hate, and anything else negative that you can name. All we can do is continue to pray for His divine protection and guidance so we have a chance to make it through the rapture. NONE OF US CAN FIX THIS.

  • Rucksp

    We are out there. Its due to the culture. take me for example. I plan to become an officer in the Air Force after college(business with concentration in computer info. systems). I know to treat women and respect women.I got my head on straight and yet no black girl in my age group isn’t interested in brothers who are working for their futures It seems that black women want a dog. The good brothers are being labeled as if were guilty of a crime we didn’t commit. For me I’m trying to feel a need. There’s a need for black male military officers than black men on basketball courts or football fields(I’m 6.7 and don’t play ball)

    • RW9

      Stay in school, stay out of jail, keep your credit score high and use condoms. The same women that ignore you know will be at your feet in the future.   Just be careful, after you establish yourself , there will be plenty of them out there looking for a step daddy for the kid of a thug that left them as soon as they had the baby.  Remember, part of being a good man is avoiding bad women.  

  • MixedUpInVegas

    The question posed in the article is whether or not mentoring and assisting mothers in the black community would be more helpful than hunting down felons who prey on that community.  Mentors are helpful, but they are not the answer.  Helping mother in the community might be more helpful, but I don’t see that as a definitive answer either.The entire issue of what plagues our communities and makes them poor, crime-ridden and pathetic is too complex for simple answers.  By placing the blame at the doorstep of men in the community, in my opinion, we are only seeing half the picture.  The other half is the mothers who aren’t holding up their end to keep their children under control.  Yes, the fathers are not there–but the mothers aren’t entirely there, either.

    There is ample blame to go around between both genders.  The end result, thus far, is that no one takes responsibility and those communities are ridden with violent, value-less youth who prey on their own.  No wonder those men (and women) who have managed to rise above their circumstances have left, never looking back.  Now those who have been more fortunate are supposed to do . . . what?

  • DaKing0325

    Black men and women both have it hard but boys face way more pressure being that we live in a patriarchal society where the man is expected to be the breadwinner and take care of his family,and with the idea that there is so less of us doing the right thing, the ones who are feel even more pressure

    As much as black women say that the’re performing better than black men in school, and in life
    they don’t realize that the’re simply not a threat to the white establishment, Black MEN are, the white man would rather let ya’ll through the door than us because they do not fear ya’ll

    Black Men are a threat to the white man and his woman, and society

  • RW9

    What women label as a Good Black Man is not really hard to find but the problem is that people seem to stay within social circles.  Once you meet one decent guy you’ll probably meet many more because most of his friends will probably be decent guys too.  You probably won’t find a responsible, educated, respectful guys hanging out with thugs but with coworkers and those who share his intrests.  If you think you’re going to find the man of your dreams at a club, good luck, it could happen but I don’t think that it’s likely.  I’m single, Black, with no kids, with a pretty good job and I can name at least 8 or nine more guys just like me, probably many more if I really thought about it.   We really are everywhere but Black women are always claiming that we don’t exist.  We don’t have “Good Brotha ” stamped on our foreheads, so you probably see us all the time but fail to recognize us.  We don’t scream out ” HERE I AM!” or do dumb sh*t to get your attention we just go to work , have fun and live our lives. 

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/FTVFY2NTSNPVGH2QCN7AXUY6WU Lia

    This article is dead on. Where are the good black men? I go to college and most of my class in 87% women. Too many dudes want to be Lil Wayne. While more sista’s are trying to be Oprah

  • Goodkimestry

    Sounds like the situation is beyond the stage of mentors only helping. The National Guard should be brought into areas like this. Let them fight wars at home that have a direct impact on our communities, a different type of “occupy” movement. Post up at schools and battle the MFs targeting our youth for the BS and blow those MFs away if necessary. Desperate times call for desperate measures and prayer vigils ain’t doin’ it.

  • Dr. No

    Where is all the good black woman , who are real woman not half that you want to bring home to family to meet ? not this i’m all that and how much money you have game , I know somebody saying I must don’t have no money , I have money honey but not for low self esteem and skeezers and high earning coke heads like I have been seeing , so don’t look down on the Brothers like we are no good , there are good men around but I see alot of them get dogged out by you sisters who say they want a good man , what is up with that ?

  • Babee

    I don’t care about black guys, some are nice but I’m 16 and I try to look good and skinny for the white guys cause a lot of them are sweet and faithful. And they buy they’re girlfriends gifts and take them out to nice places. Plus I’m quiet and I’m not one of those aggressive black girls so a lot of white guys like that. But I must say my mom and dad have been married for 30 years and they’re really happy together.

  • BLACKHAWK

    Like a couple of dudes said earlier, a good black boy are invinsible to a lot of black girls growing up, so it definitely can’t be our kids thats terrorizing the neighborhood. Yet its our fault because were not trying to go back raise the bad boy that you chose over us seed. Thats funny! I’ve came to the conclusion that the lust that these women have for bad boys are too strong to asked them to stop sleeping with these dudes, but for the greater good of society as a whole please stop having babies by them. Of course he is not going to help u raise a baby, he’s a bad boy for a reason, just stop it. Mary J Blige said it best, “Good Guys are no fun, and she loves her Mr Wrong”

    • DaKing0325

      Co-sign

  • http://twitter.com/Marta_Daniels Marta Daniels

    I agree with the premise of the 300 as long as they are really just patrolling and whatnot.  If they are a vigilante group I can’t support it! As far as where the good black men have gone, well I think they are still around (in small numbers) but I think we have to adjust the criterion with which we assess them as good black men based on the current economic conditions. (did that make sense? lol?)

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