Training Day: Things You Should Never Have To Teach Your Man

April 2, 2012  |  
"Woman reading a dating book"

“I just told my boyfriend that he better x, y and z more,” my friend says all the time. I can’t help but think, That’s not going to fix anything. If you have to remind the guy to do everything, or at least the things that are important to you, there is something seriously wrong. There are just some things that a man should do on his own. If not, he’s probably never going to do them—at least not with you.

Wondering what they are? Keep reading.

"Calendar"

Scheduling you in

Do you find yourself trying to tell your man how to spend time—as in more with you? Ever get annoyed because you hear through the grapevine he’s been at the beach all day, and he didn’t invite you and it was his one day off ?! Let’s be real: while he may not have intentionally avoided calling you, you also didn’t just naturally pop into his mind. And that says enough. Wouldn’t you rather be with someone who thinks of you all on his own?

"Woman waiting by the phone"

Phone home

Same thing as above—could he have responded to your text while he was on the toilet, even if that was his only five minutes of free time at work that day? Yup. Could he have plugged his phone in at the airport to give you a call before switching planes? Absolutely. Did he? Nope. He’s probably saying, “I like you, but I’m not going out of his way to let you know it.” Is this the kind of relationship or ‘situation’ you want?

 

"Friends cooking together"

“Be nice to my friends”

You bring him to your friend’s house for dinner, or even your parent’s, and he barely speaks. He sits quietly, eats contently. Nods occasionally. But he doesn’t ask questions, tell stories or engage. You can’t teach a man to be more sociable or care about things he doesn’t care about. He didn’t forget to talk; he just didn’t want to! And it is a big deal that he doesn’t make more of an effort to impress your friends and family. But to him, it isn’t.

 

"Woman sitting alone at table"

Stay by your side

When you go to a party with your boyfriend does he become like an ADD child, running all over the place, conversing with everyone except you? He might say, “Sorry babe, I was distracted. I hadn’t seen those people in forever!” But, no one who genuinely cares about you just forgets that you’re around for an entire party! They would want to know where you were and if you were having a good time. At least occasionally.

"Man packing a suitcase"

He is leaving

Have you ever felt whacked on the face with a big piece of information because you got it too late? For example, your boyfriend starts talking about all the things he is going to do during his two-week work trip in London. But he isn’t talking to you about it; he is talking to his buddy about it—in front of you. You’d never heard of this escapade until his homey called. A man who had strong feelings for you, would have told you immediately because being away from you would have been one of the first things to come to mind, especially since it’s a lengthy trip. How could it doesn’t slip his mind that he’s going away for weeks? Because…he’s just not that in to you. If he really care about you, you rarely slip his mind.

"Couple fighting in bed"

Excuses, excuses

The harsh reality is, there are a million excuses for him to not do something. He was stressed, had a lot on his mind, distracted, his phone died, he was tired. But you know what? When a man really likes you, that trumps all. He may slip up once in a blue moon in one of the ways mentioned in this list, but if he consistently forgets to do those things, you may have to question how deep his feelings are for you. It’s painful, but in the long run you’re doing yourself a favor facing the truth rather than making excuses for him. Find someone else to really be in to you.

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  • Nayville

    i don’t understand y ppl leave comments like “stupid list”… obviously it wasn’t too stupid for you to take time outta day and not only read the article, but comment as well. idk… sounding a little hater-ish!

  • L-Boogie

    LOL!

  • I noticed most of you here in the comments either have settled for less in a relationship or have NO idea what love, intimacy and passion for attributes to have in a companion and lack expectations….And are basically the reason why there are so many bad characters like this list out there…Yo’ own momma’s never taught you anything about real companionship or intimacy, and is one of the reason why folks like ya’ll walk around with a grimace and are a bunch of haters that can’t and won’t ever find real love in the right places because you don’t know the “meaning” of the word.

  • QB

    all this list does is teach women to not work on their relationships.  Everything is leave and find someone knew lolol, thats why there are so many of them single and unhappy now.  Dont “settle” ladies, you are perfect ( just like Jesus), and you deserve a perfect man too….. right??

  • Ladybug94

    I don’t understand why someone would be obligated to “impress” your family and friends.  That just leaves the door open for them to be fake in order to do so.  A person should just be themselves.

  • Angie

    Who writes this stupid shizzy??? Sounds like whomever wrote it doesn’t want a man, they want a second skin! SHEESH>>>>GET A LIFE OF YOUR OWN!

  • Winter

    This isn’t a list for men, but one for women. Don’t get made when you can’t change someone just move on. However, these are things that you sure as hell shouldn’t have to teach someone.

  • Jasondrvmz

    Stupid lists like this are the reason why women will remain single, being too picky. U better be happy if u find someone that loves u and is faithful to u. Smh

  • Bluekissess

    Another stupid list.

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