Mike Epps and His Disrespectful Little B****: Why I’m Concerned for Bria Epps

March 5th, 2012 - By Brande Victorian

 

Source: The Jasmine Brand

When I first read about Mike Epps and his daughter Bria’s squabble over tuition funds I immediately rolled my eyes and thought if this little girl doesn’t want her father to pay her school directly, let’s see if she likes the way Sallie Mae effs her up with that loan repayment after graduation. The fact that Mike had threatened to f*** his daughter up paled in comparison to the sense of entitlement she was displaying, and I dismissed his words for his 18-year-old child as an isolated incident and a slip of the tongue—until I actually heard them.

See Mike didn’t just threaten to eff his daughter up, he called her out of her name several times and made repeated threats, which Bria caught on tape and that have made their way to YouTube. In the recording Mike tells her, “I’ll whoop yo a**,” and calls her a “disrespectful little b****, “the f***ing devil, and several others b****es before telling her if she disrespects him again she’s going to have a problem.

For most of the conversation Bria is silent except for her daring her father by repeatedly asking him, “What are you gonna do?” and then telling him “You’re not going to do anything but run your mouth,” before adding: “Don’t call my phone  being disrespectful no more. If you have a problem you know my grandmother’s address. Period.” Is that the equivalent of you know where to find me?

To be honest, this conversation sounded more like drama between a young couple in the projects rather than a father and his daughter—possibly even two dudes who were about to square up—and that’s what made me concerned. There were so many things racing through my mind when I first heard the sound bite: what made Bria decide to tape this conversation? Did she expect her father to react this way because he had done so in the past? Why didn’t she take his threats seriously? What kind of men is she dealing with romantically and what kind of relationships will she have in the future?

The very first thought I had after hearing the recording was Bria was the type of girl who would hit herself upside the head with a frying pan and then call the cops and cry domestic abuse to have her boyfriend locked up because he made her mad that day. Her calmness on the phone with her father was striking and you could almost sense the undertone of, “yeah I got you right where I want you.” Her questioning Mike’s ability to make good on his threats by asking him, “what are you gonna do” was so reminiscent of the countless World Star Hip Hop videos of women who verbally disrespect a man, possibly even put their hands on him, and then dare him to do something about it, only to literally be knocked out in the end. Bria stepped to her father like a grown man in that conversation and he did the same in return, except she had the tool that cripples many black men in our society on her side—the police—and at 18 she already knew exactly how to capitalize on that power. I have no doubt in my mind that Bria knew exactly what she was doing when she called her father, threatened to sabotage his career, and recorded the conversation, and he played right into her manipulative hands, seemingly because this type of interaction wasn’t unique for them.

Something tells me this isn’t the first time Mike lost his cool and called his daughter everything but a child of God but no matter how mad that disrespectful brat made him, she’s still his daughter, and calling her a b**** and the devil crosses the line. Listening to the audio immediately brought to mind the Alec Baldwin situation a few years back when he called his daughter in and angry rant and told her she was a thoughtless pig. Alec was crucified in the media for his comments, and said he even felt suicidal over his behavior. Mike is on camera telling TMZ it’s hard being a father of a teenager before shouting out Bria and saying he loves her.

So where do we go from here? Bria gets her tuition paid directly and the father-daughter duo make up? No. The disrespect Bria showed for her father will no doubt show up in her relationships with other men, except unlike her father who we hope will not “make problems” for his child and her family, and who hasn’t so far, these men may. I know a little something about not having respect for your father, but I also know that not having respect for someone doesn’t mean you get to disrespect them. There’s a certain level of honor that goes along with someone being your parent, or at least being an elder, that won’t cause you to speak to them a certain way. Bria doesn’t seem to know that, and it’s not surprising from the way her father carried on in their conversation. It’s clear this girl has never been shown a model of a man to respect and at 18 it’s a little late to try to start teaching that lesson. But what would be even more unfortunate is for a man more bold than her father to teach her the hard way, or for a young man to fall victim to her manipulative ways and find himself caught up in the judicial system by a young girl who knows the law is on her side. This situation with her father makes both of those possibilities highly plausible and the saying there’s no time like the present is highly applicable in this teachable moment.

The disrespect Mike and his daughter showed one another is beyond anything I’ve witnessed personally, but that dynamic shows up in the way men and women treat one another on a daily basis. Regardless of how out of line Bria was by filing a police report against her father, she deserves to be addressed as more than a b**** before she comes to internalize that and expect that behavior in her relationships with other men. She may be a grown woman legally but these negative childhood experiences will play out destructively if they’re not corrected now and she isn’t taught to not only respect other men but also herself.

Do you feel differently about this situation after hearing the audio tape? Do you think this is an isolated incident? Could Bria Epps be headed down a dangerous path with men in general?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follow her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001541292397 Cece Duvall

    It kind of sounds like she set him up for that convo. Not commenting on their relationship but I’d understand the anger on his part of feeling like your own child is sabotaging ur career. We all say things out of anger and I don’t think that was a wise move of putting this out there if she wants to work on her relationship with her father and bring a peaceful end to this chapter.

    But when we are young, we do make mistakes. Wish them both the best :)

  • Akenya

    i think she needs her a** whipped. no he shouldn’t have called her the b***h or devil but she knew exactly what she was doing. being an ungrateful a** manipulative brat. Mike – i feel for you, i hope he uses better judgement in the future, but im 100% on his side. i would have just hung up and let her figure out how to pay her tuition – since she was feeling real grown at that moment.

  • Sickofit

    All of you on here who are STILL making concessions for his gross behavior obviously don’t understand how a parent is SUPPOSED to behave.  This man is completely abusive and should not be trusted around this girl.  If her mom was smart she would take this girl to seek an order of protection and help her see that no amount of money should make her ever want to contact this man again. Period.

  • LALATAREA

    This is what happens when you raise entiltled little brats. I would NEVER spoil my children to the point that they dont realize the value of a dollar. Nothing is free and if i worked my a*s to earn my money like he did i wouldnt just give it away either. Of course i would raise them well and pay for college but nothing extravergant. (my sweet 16)

    Another poster said something abt a girl getting back at her father becuz he thretned to take her mercedez away, sh!t i wish i would! You want a car you EARN it and work for it and ill give u half for a decent car but a mercedez?

    Thats why i dont understand these celeb parents who just hand their kids any and everything. NO this is my money that  i worked for if you want something you go out there and work like i did. Youre not living off MY fame and MY money period.

  • Pivyque

    Nope. She is what she is. She just wanted to make him look bad and I am sure that she provoked it all.

  • Elegance

    This post is so annoying! The writer is so afraid that this woman will go out and make false accusations against “innocent” Black men because of this one tape. You don’t know anything about their past interactions. How do you know that Mike Epps is a good father? She taped the conversation because she is used to his behaviour and finally decided to take action against him, he’s probably done worse in the past. Obviously he has said things like that in the past so she was prepared. 

    What is scary about this post is that you are so worried about her falsely accusing men of abuse. Did you not think that Mike Epps was being verbally abusive? He is an ADULT and her FATHER he is supposed to control himself and if he can not then maybe he should not be caring for children. No, women should not challenge men and taunt men to hit them. But why are you assuming she’s out to get “innocent” men because of this? Everyone should just watch what they say especially PARENTS and ADULTS who should know better than CHILDREN!

    • rich

       I don’t know whether to agree or disagree with your post.  You make interesting points.  I thought the article was fair because she criticized both parties and is holding Mike as the parent accountable.  I will say this:  I think that he is a responsible parent because he is paying for the college.  I also do not believe that there are any reports out on him being delinquent on child support either.  Could be, I just haven’t seen any.  I do not know whether or not he was ever married her mom or not, but in Indiana (where I believe this happened) this action is not required by the parent with the higher income (providing for college).  More so if the child is in college and not making the grades. (no evidence of this, just speculation because she wanted the money up front rather than having tuition paid for by him outright).

      I also believe that this relationship has been contentious from the beginning. A child that manipulative knows how to push her parents’ buttons and I am sure that she learned a few of these skills from watching how her mother and Mike interact with each other.  As a parent, I do not argue with my children.  I refuse to because I am the adult and parent.  This is true whether or not you live in my house, and until you move out and can support yourself without living with your parents-you are not grown in my mind.  I listen to their position and thoughts but I refuse to argue with them.  I do not understand how an adult can let their children control the house and speak to them any kind of way.  “I said no and I mean no” is all that needs to be said.  I agree that as an adult, Mike should know better than to go off of the handle like that.  But again, this was clearly a setup and she knows how to push his buttons.  Look at how she challenged him and was strategically silent during certain portions of the recording.  If that were not recorded, do you think this would have happened? If she is normally that disrespectful, I would not give her any money either and she would be cut off.  If a divorce or child support decree in in effect, she would only get the minimum required by the decree and that is it.

      The other issue that I have is that Mike worked hard for his money and status.  Neither she nor her mom are entitled to his money because she thinks she is grown and deserves it.  Children (grown or not) need to learn to work so that they can appreciate what they do have.  Based on what I read, she seems to just think the money should be handed out like candy because she is his daughter.  She needs to learn responsibility and respect.  Mike needs to grow up some too and learn how to better deal when his buttons are being pushed.

      And whether we want to admit it or not, there are women out there who do what the author described and innocent people do get hurt because she is being vindictive.  Some of these women go into abusive relationships while others learn and better themselves and situations.  If they want to get past this, it will take some serious therapy and they all have to be willing participants for it to work.  And it will take a lot of work.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1293903256 Lovonne Alexis d’Orlaque

    Conveniently, she’s being calm as she records the conversation. It is apparent she’s trying to bait him further. Who’s to know what this girl said or did to rile him up. Kids are going outside of their minds right now.

  • Idiot

    Women who grow up like her are not marriage material, no matter how hot they are or what education they have. Because of her crappy family life and poor relationship models set by her mother and father, she will have a hard time respecting men in the future.  I stay away from women like this.

    • Idiot

      I ‘d also like to point out that this is the reason there are so many single women.  They might outwardly have all kinds of accomplishments and beauty, but they are dysfunctional in relationships.  Much attention has been given to how broken families cause men to end up in jail.  However, not too many articles touch on the mental and emotional issues that many women have developed nowadays that make it hard for them to maintain relationships, let alone marriage.

  • Candra_31

    It was wrong for him to speak to her that way. We don’t know the whole story and she only played one part of the tape. But she was wrong to throw her dad under the bus like that. There is more to this story for sure. Her mama and grandmother look well taken care of. I am sure Mike’s checks help a whole lot. Since she is 18, she would now be on her own. If this is her last year of high school, she would now be riding the big yellow school bus with a brown bag lunch! I would cut her off! Now she could run tell that!

  • miche

    okay, i wasn’t even gonna comment on this until i went back and listened to the conversation on youtube, but uhm…this little broad is outta line!!!….i know were living in the times of the end cause this child is too disrespectful…first of all, she had the audacity to ask him if he talked to his woman that way!!….as if she was putting herself in the same boat as his WOMAN!…you are the child so stay in your place…she should be happy she has a father who’s in her life cause many young women want that…just goes to show that you can’t treat a child like an adult because they only have the mental capacity of a child….I woulda effed that a$$ up too!!!…now any parent who works hard and sacrifice many things for their kids would feel the same anger to know that your child has taken for granted everything you have done and then have the nerves to be unthankful, disrespectful, and shady enough to try and set you up to sabotage your career, knows that she deserved to be effed up!!!

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