7 Things A Man Only Does If He’s Serious About You

March 5th, 2012 - By Julia Austin

thefreshxpress.com

Are you wondering if a guy is serious about you? There are some things guys make a conscious effort to not do for women they’re not serious about. So, if you catch your guy doing these, you can be sure he knew exactly what he was doing. And he is hoping to be in it for the long haul.

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PlasticMan

Do you ladies realize that there are some men who do not want too get married and they tell you up front….but you don’t listen! You think you can change their mind but in reality all you are doing is setting yourself up for disappointment. A good man that knows how to treat a lady will do all of the things but he will also tell you he doesn’t want mariage. That does not mean he doesn’t want a commitment just not that commitment. Ihave been with thesame women for 16 years and we are both fine and committed.
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malsings07

First let me start off by saying that even if your older I’m 56 and he was 63 you can still run into the same “commitment issues” I’m divorced so was he and both of us have granchildren. The 7 little acts aren’t necessarily true because he is a good man I just couldn’t hang around without a committment he gave me the ring but no words behind it. Just be true to yourself.
Francissearcy88

My hun fits all of the above.
Dwhitter1

Lord have mercy, ladies… Guilty until proven innocent, huh? (That’s what I get for reading a women’s article) Maybe if you ease up on the preemptive prosecution, you would find a man worth a damn. Is a good/successful man willing to put up with such bitterness and judgement? I agree that there are without a doubt terrible, evil men out there. I know that there are also good ones… Maybe you need to change you “prospecting” process. Holding every man accountable for one of your ex’s actions will have you alone. And don’t day you don’t care. You wouldn’t have read this article if you didn’t.

Oh, and yes I am married to a beautiful black young professional (I am one as well) woman whom I do not cheat on or abuse. Peace and love sisters…. Done with lunchtime so back to work.
- Themcleods
  
  Amen Brother. I was just “listening” to all of these posts and wondering to myself…..”It takes TWO to have a relationship. It can’t be ALL him.” What are the ladies out there brining to the table? There are no shortage of no good men out there…..but too….no shortage of women who confuse being strong and liberated with loud, boisterous and demanding.
  Before anyone asks…..I’ve been married to my wife for 22 years, my only two children are with her….AFTER we got married (threw that in there for GP).
Elfm226

This happens all the time. Alot of men will do these things, but still have a different mindset. The fact that men have a change of hearts isn’t the thing that pisses me off, it’s the fact that they don’t say anything about it. They like to play mind games, you just have to be smart enough to know when to walk away from the BS. It’ll be nice to meet someone that’s sincere from the beginning to the end for a change.
Respect

does MN have a man or is she married? Doubt it
Bitterswtkizz

I find that MEN are non-verbal and women of course communicate VERBALLY and often time these non-verbal signals are understood as something altogether different from a woman perspective.

For instance, If a MAN cuddles with you it should NOT be assumed that it’s anything more than cuddling unless he indicates that it’s MORE.

Men tend to DO plenty of things just for the sake of doing those things but it isn’t necessarily attached to emotions.

Cuddling doesn’t equate to a serious relationship or MARRIAGE nor does those other gestures…this is a COMMON mistake that a lot of women make which leads to hurt feelings and then a HEATED argument because you feel mislead.

If you desire MARRIAGE then you should indulge a man that seeks the same and DO not engage in such things with every man thinking that it MEANS marriage because they did that.

When MEN actually begin to express his genuine feelings for you, please just LISTEN and trust and believe IF he’s being earnest ACTIONS will follow those very words.

In this day and age, it”s hard to find a MAN and woman that hasn’t indulged in EVERYTHING that why it’s good to hold back on a lot of things until you both know that the relationship is blossoming into something LASTING!

Some of you tend to do everything on the checklist thinking that it will earn you a man’s HEART—trust and believe MEN are just fine when you tell them NO—we aren’t ready for that yet—that’s what makes GOOD wives! You will certainly be that WOMAN that this man will be telling his friends that’s going to be my WIFE one day–TRUST me!

And spend time courting your mate and don’t get so WRAPPED up on what certain thing s mena you cannot enjoy dating if you are always trying to figure out what’s going on. Got out with and enjoy—if he takes you HOME enjoy that as well and most of all PRAY about each and every relationship it will save you from a lot of agony and GRIEF!
- Bitterswtkizz
  
  oops* Go out with his friends and enjoy….*things mean…..
  
  Oh yeah and treat each situation individually rather than grouping every MAN with the previous MAN. And give your mind, HEART and BODY(if you’ve been have SEx) time to HEAL rather than trying to GET over and old relationship with a new one.
http://profile.yahoo.com/LUSYT6O2LZWN6S2P32ZU5RR42M grace t

bullshit believe that if u want to but foolish is what u will be.
Janella464

How do I show this post to a close friend without offending her? She’s been dating this guy for 2 years…she’s never met his family, never been to his house, he never discusses their relationship, misses calls or doesn’t call for weeks, and she’s only met one of his home boys. I’m not sure if she’s being willfully blind, but I think this blog post has many of the components she should be looking for. *sigh*
- Cinna
  
  From what you described, you can just tell your friend with all certainty that the guy she is dating…is married. It is unbelievable what some women will tolerate and every fact you mentioned about this sad association is absolutely ridiculous and unacceptable.
TheTruth

I DO NOT agree with the “just wants to cuddle” part. The last guy i dated told me that he couldn’t sleep good unless i was next to him & that it felt so good sleeping next to me and cuddling etc., and at the end it didnt mean Shiiitt he just want to hit it!
E Ramseynoel

OR they do things like this to get you to put out, but really they aren’t serious at all…
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Team nymphis

When he sleeps over and doesn’t hide his phone & wallet

When he gives you access to the remote control

When he talks to you while he’s shxttin
- Tussy78
  
  When he does everything that he says he would do.
  When his pet name for you is beautiful.
  When he tells you he loves you all day everyday.
  When he tells you he wants to grow old with you.
  When he talks about how we will raise our kids together.
  When his mom cooks for you!
  - Team nymphis
    
    When he doesn’t complain about your stretch marks…even though you look like Tony the Tiger
    
    When he lets you look up while he’s doggystylin
    
    When he’s willing to run a red light at that time of the month
    - Msfab73
      
      Lol !
    - Oluwafolarin
      
      looooooool #SHOUTOUT TEAM NYMPHIS
Wuluwulu

How about he just tells you, and then you know for sure. Why us woman have to always get these articles about reading signals? No wonder so many of us are getting strung along, or being setup for failed relationships because we are reading signals that we think means everything is alright, when really everything is all wrong. If you really must know where the relationship stand and if he is seriously considering a future together then ask. Better to scare him away with your question than to give him another 5 years of your life reading false signals.
- Tony Sloany
  
  With all due respect in my experience with women I’ve learned exactly the opposite of what you’re saying here. Far too many people have learned the art of saying ‘what sounds good’ with no intentions of following it up with action.
  So yeah, in short, you’d like for people to say the right thing but it’s far more important to actually see them doing the right thing(s) on a consistent basis day after day after day.
  Reference the lyrics to the Temptations ‘A Love I Can See’ and you’ll know what I mean.
  Much love to you
  - Wuluwulu
    
    We are most likely all intelligent ppl here, of course nobody is going to just sit back and accept only mere words with no actions to back it up with. But a woman just sitting around reading these articles and thinking all she has to do is check off the appropriate boxes to know her man is really “in to her” without having a real conversation about where the relationship is headed, and what they both hope to get out of it may be also setting herself up for a longgggggggggggggggggggggg journey to nowhere.
    - FABCHICK
      
      Sorry, but it doesn’t always work that way, wuluwulu. My man would always lie to me; he always told me what I wanted to hear. So, yeah, I could just believe him (and I did, for quite some time, until I found the truth), but what if his actions conflict? What if he says he is serious about you but never calls you; you always have to call him to hear from him? He never offers to pick you up for a date? So on and so forth? Something’s gotta give….
      - FABCHICK
        
        Let me add – I agree with you that she should address it with him, but I did that with mine and it got me nowhere but pain and mental trauma. That might not be the case with everyone, but for me it led down a very very bad road.
sweettea

I think the point of this post was how to tell if hes in to you not how to tell if he’s gonna marry you. If he wants to marry you the signs are not these cute little things
Squeezablechic

Here’s a better list:
1. He prays for you.
2. Introduces you to his friends/family.
3. Gives you access to his place.
4. Cooks for you.
5. Asks about your kids and includes them.
6.Speaks about your future together.
- Tony Sloany
  
  Um yeah that’s kinda the same bag of groceries as the article no?
  - Cinna
    
    Um, no it’s not the same bag of groceries. Not by a long shot. Go back and compare them again.
- Melyssa
  
  OH and your number 2..!!??? Is the new swindle.. dudes nowadays familiies and friends already know the lowdown so by him bringing a female around for functions no longer means squat, introducing a female to his mother no longer carries the same “She’s The One” meaning as it once did. I wouldn’t put too much stock in that ladies. #JustSayin
- guest
  
  Prayer means nothing. Lots of cheats pray in church….doesn’t make you a good person. You are either good and kind or not.
- Smeemts
  
  #5 is a long shot! Kids are usually a dealbreaker. There are a few that are cool with raising someone else’s kids, but they’re the exception. Good luck with that!
- VirtualClover
  
  If he prays for me, I know the sex is going to suck big time, out the door he goes.
  
  Dealbreaker
  - Cinna
    
    And you would know this how? You don’t seem like the type who would have been involved with a man who would pray for her…or pray at all. By the way, great avatar. SMH.
    - Jake Hartwell
      
      You evidently were hurt and a lot and your choices of men have clouded your judgement
  - K.c.
    
    Oh my gosh…the hilarity of this statement!
- Cinna
  
  I love this list. Especially #1. Any man who does that where his woman is concerned is definitely worth his weight. Numbers 3, 5 and 6 are great ones too. Loved the whole list. Thanks for the alternative.
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003537877124 Monique Jackson

Be nice about it, but I didn’t mince words with my husband. It was good we had attended the same college and knew each other, but when he was brought back into my world, I relaxed, had fun but along the way, especially when it got serious, made it known, I am not here for kickin’ it! We both are beyond that phase. A man knows if he wants you. It doesn’t take over 2 years to know this. Anything beyond that, you’re being strung along. I know women who have waiting 5 years or more. Not me. These eternally engaged folk and forever fiances set themselves up, just for that.
- christielove
  
  @Monique Jackson: You are so right! My cousin has been engaged to her man for seven years now and been living together since 03. I tried telling her that she is being strung along plus her man has been cheating on her since they been together,smh!. I hope that one day my cousin will wake up and get some sense.
  - KeptWoman
    
    Damn! It’s better to be Single & Happy, than shacking up and miserable. Smh
    
    Do they have children together? Just keep “baby girl” in prayer. Some women don’t to be alone. They will settle for the BS, rather than be alone. In some states, you would be considered his “common law wife” anyway if you have shacking up(cohabitating) with someone for 7 yrs or longer.
    - Melyssa
      
      It’s better to be Single & Happy, than shacking up and miserable”
      
      You can say that again!!! *Humph*
  - guest
    
    I hope she doesn’t lose her youth, beauty and reproductive years to this fool. That is the worse mistake we can make. You hang on waiting for someone to come around til one day you can no longer have kids and he has moved on with someone else, kids and all! Don’t be that girl ladies!
    - FABCHICK
      
      I agree (I was that girl, lost my womb to cancer while I was with him, and I’m almost 35 and I don’t look great anymore – so I’m basically damaged goods and have no chance in hell on the playing field and no kids, ever)
      - Guest
        
        That’s really unfortunate.
      - tracy
        
        Sure you have a chance 35 yrs is not old and without a womb you can still have kids. I heard from the doctor women do not need wombs to have kids, all they need is EGGS, which can be taken out and frozen. I have met mean monster guys who purposely try to hurt me and wasted my time but im still having kids and getting married and I am 40 yrs old.
- BahaGyrl
  
  I agree with you Monique. I told my husband when we were dating what I wanted and asked him what he wanted. We dated for one year when he said we would get married. Into the 2nd year he proposed and we had a beautiful wedding. I think sometimes we as women, tend to settle too quickly with what our men wants. If it works for some women, fine. But know that we allow what happens in our lives. Engaged for 4 or 5 years in my opinion is too long! But, again, if it works so be it. It’s just not for me.
- Fabchick
  
  Oh, yeah, I actually was dumb enough to wait through our wedding being called off 3 TIMES by him and for five years of what ended with his 30 year old butt running after a co worker who had just turned 18! And he was nice and did everything on that list, so that crap guarantees nothing! What a waste of my life.. Girls, listen to Monique, don’t give it more than 2 years.
http://g00.me/7k << Work at home, $45/h, link

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool that to speak and
remove all doubt
yardgyal

Negative…had a guy who did all the above but still wasnt ready. Some guys are just good guys and that is that…doesnt mean that he is ready for you, even if he is good to you. Know your worth and know when to walk away if a commitment isnt made. How about when he says…I want a commitment and act accordingly? why isnt that on the list?

MN stop with the one size fits all BS!
- Guest
  
  Lol I was about to post the same thing! He can do all those things and still be emotionally unavailable.
  - huhsaywhat?
    
    I was also about to post that this list is misleading.
    
    I dated a man who was essentially a “good person” and did all of the above but ALSO had MAJOR commitment issues. He was a life-long serial monogamist and admitted that he needed to get his sh*t together before he turns 40…lol
    
    He’d agree that a man can do all of the these things and still not commit.
- Tinker
  
  I agree with you. I had a guy who did all this but still avoided the question of whether we were in a relationship or not.
- Bobbie Duncan
  
  Thank you, Yardgyal! I thought it was just me..I’ve had men do ALL of these things and still play games. This list is rather weak. There’s just no telling when a man is “ready” until he’s actually “ready”.
- Bobbie Duncan
  
  Thank you, Yardgyal! I thought it was just me..I’ve had men do ALL of these things and still play games. This list is rather weak. There’s just no telling when a man is “ready” until he’s actually “ready”.
- tastythoughts
  
  dit to the O….these things a relationship per say does not make….as yardgyal said.
- VirtualClover
  
  Agreed. If they offer to fix stuff it can just as easily mean they like fixing stuff. Or just thoughtful guys. They can even invite you to meet their entire families, guarantee your time (especially if they’re insecure and need a babysitter or scared you’ll hook up elsewhere), and still not necessarily be wanting anything more than a nice little tie for however long it lasts.
  
  I think a big problem are all these expectations women need to have to be assured of some long term commitment and putting in all the wrong energy. If a guy is hanging with you, he likes you enough to be there then else he wouldn’t be there. And so what if he doesn’t call you 40 times a day, are you that pitiful you need a babysitter?
  
  I have a best friend and sometimes we don’t talk for a couple weeks and neither one of us worry about it. We know we’re friends, we know we care deeply, we know we’ll always have a place in each other’s lives. We check in and then do our own thing…because we’re grown and don’t need constant attention.
  
  Perhaps if women would learn how to be companions, friends, real one – and not as an ego pump jump into marriage, but friendship for its own sake, they’d figure out that their relationship becomes a real alliance and not some poster child for a wedding ring.
  
  I think a lot of women bring this on themselves…
  - jc taylor
    
    i found your insight into this topic to be the the most insightful. Things are changing. I personally do not know if I like some of the changes but they are changing just the same, whether i like them or not. Some people desire old time labels with modern privileges. Not to be provocative, but if women want modern freedom, they why should the men be locked down in marriage.
    
    The rules are changing and the men feel under represented. There is a cultural disconnect and the men are not connected to it. Marriage today is determined by European common laws, and the new freedoms women are being set by statutory laws. Things certainly needed to change, but which laws represent black male interests?
    
    You have the matrilineal African American female supported by a patrilineal European society, in the laws, culturally and in the media.
    
    Sure the men desire a woman in their life, but there is no ying and yang harmony in what the black male is experiencing. This is not to say the male is living with integrity or is spiritually conscious. I am saying we need to have a different discussion than is taking place in society.
    
    There is a simple question none of these posts address. Some do say the man is generous. So the man may be a nice guy. But not one lady has said, “what does the man want?”

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