7 Things A Man Only Does If He’s Serious About You

March 5th, 2012 - By Julia Austin
"Couple looking into each other's eyes"

thefreshxpress.com

Are you wondering if a guy is serious about you? There are some things guys make a conscious effort to not do for women they’re not serious about. So, if you catch your guy doing these, you can be sure he knew exactly what he was doing. And he is hoping to be in it for the long haul.

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  • shellyrock

    I don’t think there is a list, only time will tell and its always a risk and a chance because things constantly change, We constantly change, but its a beautiful thing when you have some one to share moments (good or bad) with and they accept and love you as who you are and you them even if you both change over time. Isn’t that family, the ones we choose ourselves?

  • Smithj

    This article is BS.

  • http://www.facebook.com/claudia.farrell1 Claudia Farrell

    Relationships are like marriages, if its good it will keep. Relax and enjoy life.

  • immaculate

    You can invite him for outing an you see how hes behaviors in the society, that can also detect that he loves you. At times he can refuse to give you company and shares with his friends. It really hates a lot if he behaves like that.

  • http://www.debtconsolidationcare.com/User/NathanielCopeland Nathaniel Copeland

    Given all the discussions and the ideas proposed by the article, the moot question still remains: Why does a guy after having met every bullet point on the check list is still not ready? It is either pathological for men everywhere (at varying degrees) or is there a point (or a few) missing on this list?

  • blackgirlgoodcredit . com

    All of these things are correct but who cares about all of that crap? I want to know how the man REALLY is. Thats why I don’t project an ideal or illusion on the man because he’ll try to keep the charade up until he finally gets you, then his true colors come out. And his true colors may not necessarily be bad, but they’ll be what you should expect for the rest of the time you’re with him.

  • Pingback: 7 Reasons Why Men Can’t Do Nice Things | -The Single Wives Club-

  • jc taylor

    hmmm it ain’t easy ladies.  it ain’t that easy at all.  Reading some posts regarding a man who is “helpful” or “generous” but may be non committal.  Isn’t being generous ~ enough?  Recently, meaning within past 6 months i communicated with a woman i have known for 25 years and have liked from day 1.  We never got together, not her fault.  She was in a relationship and then i was.  I moved to different states.  Occasionally i would return to NYC and always say hello.  This year we spoke about her birthday. I did her chart and also an analysis and sent it to her.  She never emailed back a thanks.  I won’t call or write again.

    Appreciation goes a long way to making a relationship happen.  In this society where beauty is king and men chase women as moths are attracted to light, gifts and attention are often seen as entitlements.  I see it with my kids.  I’m supposed to “give” them a car and finance their immaturity, and addictions.

    The men have their fears and their “wounds” from childhood and life’s journey as do the women.  We do not date goddesses with the wisdom of Auset (Isis) or the compassion of Mother Theresa.  We date homo sapien sapien females.  These are the females of the most predator species on this planet.  These are the great hunters species.  Dating a homo sapien sapiens female can feel like being out on a date with a tyrannosaurus rex female.  Ladies ~ high heel shoes do not make the experience any better.

    We are who we are, and this is our journey. If it is a relationship we desire then we must put the predator aspect aside and function from our other aspect ~ compassion and wisdom.  The monthly cycle or menopause does not give a free pass from acting with compassion.

    I am not defending men.  Often we do not have a defense.  I will not apologize for men either or for myself.  Speaking for myself I do the best i can do based on what i know at that time.  And i would submit this goes to the crux of many men’s problems.

    What do we know?  What are our aspirations?  Who does he want to be?  What are his soul’s goal?  Does he know?  Has he had this discussion with himself?  Does he dare to discuss this with you, and you, your soul desire with him?

    If you desire to know the man, then quit talking to his muscles or his wallet or his …well, you know, his other brain!

    Find YOUR soul and discuss with him his soul and his efforts to discover it.  In my mind this is where the companionship becomes cemented.  Then the two of you can share a soul’s journey.

  • ImaguysoIknowhowguysthink

    ‎1. Asking about that thing – This is reasonable as long as you don’t expect us to ask about EVERY thing that you do. We care, but we have no intention of policing you.
    2. Clarifying missed calls – Some women expect men to clarify every missed call. This isn’t reasonable. If we talk, we talk. If we don’t, we don’t. As long as he doesn’t disappear for multiple days you should be ok.
    3. Offering to help – This is basic chivalry. This is a keeper.
    4. Planning Ahead – Not all women plan ahead. Some people just do things spur of the moment or are bad planner. That has little to do with love.
    5. Care about you career – This one was talking about the guy telling the his girl how to advance in her career or be happier in it. Not everyone is open to this. Many people, male and female, would be offended about this type of conversation. Most guys don’t want to feel like they’re “telling you what to do” so they will leave you alone about it unless you bring it up. I don’t think that most women would like the reality of this if it actually happend to them.
    6. Brags about you – This depends on the person. Everyone isn’t a bragger.
    7. Just wants to cuddle – Wanting to cuddle is fine, but the “I want to cuddle” text doesn’t sound realistic.

  • Jada

    To me, this list is not to be used to find out if someone wants to marry you or not. It’s just a list of things that should be a given in any relationship. There’s no magic list that tells you if a guy is serious. You have that womens intuition, plus you should just be able to ask how he feels and get a real answer. There’s no magic answer either. It all boils down to following your heart. If you are honest with yourself, you will come to the right conclusion.

  • BrittanyLouis

    This is a pretty misleading list. I date a guy who is just nice like this, he also tends to leave a trail of broken hearts behind him because chicks latch onto him thinking that his niceness = I want to date you. 

    You know when I knew he actually gave a damn about me? When I asked him. Stop trying to read between the lines ladies and open up a positive discourse with your man about how you both feel. It’s better than asking your friends or reading on it online. 

  • AnotherMalePerspective

    As a guy, I would absolutely co-sign on this article. These are things that we would do if we were seriously CONSIDERING a future with you. It is not to say that the guy is going to pop the question. It doesn’t even mean that you are the only one that is being considered. I’ll let that part sink in.

    Using a job interview analogy, there may be a few candidates that are available. Maybe the one he wants isn’t available (yet). Maybe you are the one. In either case, he will do things to let you know that he is interested (ie you are still in the running). When a guy is ready for a COMMITMENT, it is like offering the job: Temp (girlfriend) , Contract (engaged), Hired (married).

    Don’t confuse seriousness with commitment-readiness. A woman could have serious wifey potential, be a good mother, intelligent, and all that. But if dude ain’t ready to be committed, all that does is put her at the top of the list for if/when he does get serious. 

    • MzPW

      I respect your point, I really do….but the problem with that male-centered logic is that while the brotha is still trying to get himself “ready” to be committed, he may not realize that the most valuable “candidates” for the position could have received other job offers. Considering the stiff levels of competition (and if that lady is intelligent enough to know when to walk away), who’s really losing out here?

      *Nope, not related directly to the article but it sure does show up in real life…

  • Affya777

     there is a man in my life who does all these things for me, not the kind of man who is shallow yet i know he has a girlfriend. so it still doesn’t make sense to me

    • Cinna

      YOU probably don’t make sense to you. He has a girlfriend? Why don’t you leave other women’s men alone and go and find yourself someone who isn’t interested in opening up AT LEAST 2 pairs of legs. It sounds like you need to get your standards in line.

      • anon

        ^^^LOL!!

  • Kyla

    Noir, Y’all gotta be kidding. The best players KNOW to do ALL of this.  Pfft. 

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