Madame on the Street: Who Comes First, Your Spouse or Your Children?

February 28th, 2012 - By MN Editor

When it comes to the people you love the most in the world it can be hard to choose who’s going to get your attention, when and how much of it. We took to the streets of New York to pose this tricky question to some passers by, asking them in a marriage who comes first your spouse or your children. We made the stakes even higher by asking who would come first in a life or death situation. See what these people had to say in the video above.

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  • Pingback: Chicken or the Egg: Prioritizing Spouses and Children via @honeybholistic

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  • Logic76

    I think many of you are missing the point so I’m just going to copy and paste Sweett’s response because quite frankly it was pefect:

    “But I guess what I mean to point out is BALANCE. That’s the key. Of course your child’s well-being is in your hands and your are responsible for providing their needs, but everything about them shouldn’t ALWAYS come first. I can say it in so many words, but basically…
    Child’s Needs > Spouse’s Needs > Child’s Wants
    Your child needs should come first because they depend on you for everything. (e.g. your spouse is capable of feeding and taking care of himself, while your child can’t necessarily do that.)Your spouse’s needs should before your child’s wants.(e.g. your child WANTS to sleep in the bed with you two every night, but your spouse NEEDS to have a good night’s rest for the next day, or your child would like for you to stay home with them every single night, but you haven’t been on a date with your spouse in ages.)”

  • Pingback: Chicken or the Egg: Prioritizing Spouses and Children | Honeybee Holistic

  • cubanflowers

    I LOVE my husband but while my children are under 18 ain’t NOBODY but GOD coming before them! 

    who the he…lll is to say that my husband will be with me until death do us part???

     he can get up and leave as quickly as the breeze blows and then who do i have???

     The KIDS I carried for  37 weeks, 40 weeks  and 35 weeks  and spent HOURS in pain getting their a.sssess out of my womb that’s who! 

    People need to remember something.. the way you treat your children while they are young is the same way they will treat you when your a.sss is old!…

    be blessed… 

  • Pmldjhn

    The spouse comes first because if there was no mother or father, what would happen to the children?  Who would care for them? 

  • miche

    first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby and a baby carriage!!!…lol…no seriously, truer words never been spoken…people today don’t understand that a couple should marry and become one…then they together can give the children what they need.

  • coco1love

    While they are still dependents, then I say the children.

  • Blackmanmarried

    Why do the readers sometimes take everything literally.  Asking if your spouse should come before your children, doesn’t mean literally abandon/neglect your children because of your spouse.  I am extremely happy as a black man, that there are black women on here saying that, because a lot of women don’t choose a spouse (child’s father, baby daddy) wisely, thats why they feel like their kids should come first & take it so literally.  If you are in a marriage/family unit, you’d understand that while balancing the child’s needs is important, its a job for both parents acting as one & NOT a one person job.  Just because my wife’s need are most important to me right now, doesn’t mean my child’s diapers doesn’t get changed.  Its ok for me to be late picking up my son from daycare, because my wife has an emergency, and vice versa.  Doesn’t mean, because one of them gets more of my attention right this minute means I am not thinking or care for the other one.  Its ok for my wife and i to go out, as long as someone is watching our child, even if she has a fever, as long as if it gets worse we can be reached.  

  • guest

    When you look at the Bible as a whole, you will find that the order of priority is this:

    1. God – God comes first before all else. We cannot be whole human beings without Him

    2. Spouse – Your spouse comes second only to God, as you are one flesh and each half of the whole. However, neither can be whole without God.

    3. Children – Your children come third. They are a big part of your family, and are the fruit of your marriage. Nothing else comes before your children, except your spouse and God.

    4. Everything else – Everything else, including school and your job take a back seat to your family and God.

    I’m reading all these comments but no one know’s the true meaning of what family is suppose to be like. It was already set in place for us by God and that’s what is lacking in the family unit. Your spouse is first because you and him are one and work as a unit. People are confusing what the meaning of coming first really means. Of coarse you have to take care of your kids because the are innocent and they cant do for themselves right away, but to neglect your marriage just because you have kids is stupid and selfish. Once your child leaves the bossom of their family there life begins and your life as there parent ends. We are here to guide our children through life until adulthood. It all comes down it if the family life is stable then the kids will be fine and if they arent fine it doesnt have anything to do with the parent putting the spouse first. Some kids can have good lives and still turn out messed up and some kids have bad lives and turn out great.

  • Guest

    Parents should always put their children first. I can’t believe that’s even a debate. Especially when it comes to protecting their lives.

    • Guest

       Actually, I meant the children should comes first when it comes to protecting them. As long as the marriage is a healthy relationship, I believe parents have to find a balance between each other and their children.

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