7 Things We Wish Men Knew About Our Bodies

78 comments
February 28, 2012 ‐ By Julia Austin
"Beautiful black woman"

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After enough men and enough mishaps, you realize that there are some things men just didn’t get the memo on when it comes to the woman’s body. Like these:

"T-shirt with handprints on boobs"

zazzle.com

 

Boobs bruise

Sometime after high school, all guys learned—no more hickies! But, that doesn’t mean bruises are a thing of the past. Ever woken up the next morning with black and blue finger prints on your chest? Some men get a little too excited and in the heat of passion, don’t realize that they’re grabbing your breasts as if they’re planning on stealing them. And while it’s nice we get them that excited, it’s not nice wearing turtlenecks for the next week.

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  • Mike

    O.M.G. Such garbage, who did they question, a bunch of virgins? Yeesh! My wife, even ‘excited’ with me going down and giving orgasms that leave weals on my back STILL need lube. EVERY woman I’ve dated (that wants me) is not only more ready to go after a few drinks, they take the initiative! I have never ‘spit’ unless I had a kinKy one who got off on fun/weird stuff (and spitting is nothing in that realm) ..but otherwise, yah nappy. heh. Cuddling, goes either way, my wife is like ‘yeah, lets clean up, I want sleep!’ I’m the cuddler, others I’ve dated like to cuddle or talk. Every woman I’ve had sex with that said ‘Harder’ also meant a progression up to ‘Faster’ unless I was dragging it out to get to 45 minutes to an hour on the first round. (I’m not very ‘sensitive’ so as long as I’m not tired…) …and the ONLY time I don’t go down is if I’m told NOT to waste time and get to business! …man I cringe every time I read crap like this in a mens or womens magazine, lol.

  • B-A

    It’s obvious most of you haven’t had men that actually care about pleasing you

  • B-A

    And this was not useful at all. Common sense surely prevails with all of these or is that just me.

  • jooooosh

    Wooow i gotta say it women, you say harder, if you want it to go into you with more force that means you need more velocity, women seriously, its basic physics, so if your gonna moan about it being faster try shutting up and just enjoying it, you might find if you stopped moaning for 5 seconds it would be the best sex you ever had. but yeah to get it harder you need it faster, try this punch a wall, then punch the wall harder… you will have to swing faster, now go get some ice for the hand and make me a sandwich.

    • canaduck

      Angry virgin spotted.

  • Nick

    Hitachi Back Massager, that’s all i have to say.

  • Karen

    That’s BS… speak for yourself… what a joke “it does nothing for a woman”… HARD AND FAST is exactly what she loses her mind over girly!

    • cxd

      I agree with you Karen.   As a male, I know 1st hand that with certain women, “faster” can produce earthquake like climaxes in women.  Men, when they shout ‘do that again’ – Do  It or say “oh sh@#t, I’m coming).

      So I don’t know what the author it talking about.

  • Fladabosco

    Things men want women to know:

    – Sometimes we need about 3 seconds of foreplay and the rest of the time we are alternating between ‘I can’t believe I am with this beautiful woman’ and thinking about baseball. And sometimes we don’t.
    – You know, most of us don’t give a crap if you orgasm or not.
    – Most men have one or two things that they fantasize about ALL the time. If you don’t like those things help the man pretend.
    – If something is wrong or uncomfortable or if you need or want something TELL US. Don’t be mad at us just because you can’t verbalize what you want. Don’t be mean but say what you want.
    – We don’t think it’s all about our package. Uh, yes we do. Especially younger guys. Until we mature the message we get from our bodies is ‘your body is a package, a brain to process the desires that affect your package and stuff like kidneys and spleens we never think about.’  You have no idea how important that package is to him. You want him to love you? Treat his package like it’s a special present he is giving to you.
    – If your man finishes before you want him to, then make sure he finishes twice each session. The first one is for him, the second is so you aren’t left breathless – or are left extremely breathless!
    – When you are having PMS or some version of it don’t take it out on us. We’ll be there to hold your hand and try to make you uncomfortable, but why would you expect love and tenderness when instead of saying ‘I don’t feel really good right now and it would be nice if you (rubbed my feet, made me tea, etc)’ you say ‘You’re (a jerk and I hate everything about you, you’re the source of all of my problems, etc.)
    – Our compulsion to get up and do something right after sex is natural. Couples that are like beached whales are more vulnerable than when the man is conscious and up and around.
    – We want you to like us and have fun with us in bed! If you come off as mean or bossy or uncaring it hurts.

    • Sonyab602

      Why would we do ANY OF THESE things when you clearly state “- – You know, most of us don’t give a crap if you orgasm or not.”  this makes me say, therefore, A. You aren’t good enough for me and B. feel free to go F yourself!

    • Anna613

      Not sure if trolling or just a jerk.

  • Bob

    These are all pretty good General rules,but of course there are exceptions? I have a lot of  female friends & the ones I hear the most are the over active chest massage & the jack hammer action that some times Bruises their pelvis?  A full stomach isnt usually good for anything but a nap?

    • anotherguest

       I think the confusion about harder/faster is that the ladies DO mean faster – within the stroke. Each stroke HAS to be faster, to be harder. Don’t believe that, than ask a physicist. BUT, that has no bearing on how short the intervals BETWEEN thrusts must be. So, harder doesn’t mean more thrusts per minute, but it does mean that each thrust will, in isolation, be moving faster. You can do the same number of thrusts per amount of time, while increasing the force (by increasing the speed) of the strokes. To put in another way, you can lightly toss a football 3 times in ten seconds (or 5 or ten, whatever), or you can DRILL it 3 times in ten seconds. The drilled ones are moving faster by definition, and that’s separate from throwing the ball MORE times in those ten seconds.

      • anotherguest

         i didn’t mean to reply to bob, here. just a general comment.

      • Fool_Killer

        Well, yes, but I still don’t think that is what she wants.  To use her own example, her head would still be hitting the headboard just as hard… just not as often.  I’m still not getting it.

  • Campesino99

    This website is intended for women readers, right? So why would there be a piece about the experience women report having with men not understanding their bodies? It just doesn’t make any sense.

    • Dilaha

      Because we like to know that we are not the only ones feeling this way. Also, the accuracy of the list makes it incredibly funny to read. Yes, next it needs to be posted on the Maxim magazine website or something…as a service to men…and women!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chamo-El-Gorila/508004879 Chamo El Gorila

    Seriously the women you surveyed for this article must have had a stick up their a** mate

  • BAH

    Wow what a misconstrued and generalized view of all women.  

  • laura

    i’d love to read this whole article, but i’ve been on this page less than 10 minutes (leading me to this article) and am tired of having to pause a video advertisement some 7-10 times PER ARTICLE.  this is obnoxious.  i’m out.

  • Janee

    So about the cocktails….random fact….it’s illegal to give or get consent from someone in the state of Missouri after you or they are intoxicated and will cause things to be classified as rape. Check your laws people and don’t blame it on the alcohol….might get you some jail time

    • Maddaddy425

      I sorry but what does that have to do with anything.  Nobody talking about rape.  Two people go out as a couple and have some drinks.  Sex is not considered rape.  Rape is considered rape, stop shouting rape when all it does is make it harder to prosecute the lousy men who do rape women and come up with all kinds of excuses.  On the real, nobody likes sex on a full stomach.  And I didn’t know that’s what was going on when my wife has too many drinks.

      • http://hizzandherzorganics.com/ nelson

        Yeah that comment doesn’t even go with what the article is about. SERIOUSLY, NOT ONE BIT!!

      • http://hizzandherzorganics.com/ nelson

        Yeah that comment doesn’t even go with what the article is about. SERIOUSLY, NOT ONE BIT!!

    • Maddaddy425

      I sorry but what does that have to do with anything.  Nobody talking about rape.  Two people go out as a couple and have some drinks.  Sex is not considered rape.  Rape is considered rape, stop shouting rape when all it does is make it harder to prosecute the lousy men who do rape women and come up with all kinds of excuses.  On the real, nobody likes sex on a full stomach.  And I didn’t know that’s what was going on when my wife has too many drinks.

    • Gert B Frobe

       And who lives in or cares about Missouri.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/ADIFD2ZY6BDMK3PQAMRVPYORNE B.

    um drinking actually makes me really h***y :-) i agree with everything else…and hmmm very interesting about wanting to be held after sex. this stuff should be taught to both men and women.

  • http://hizzandherzorganics.com/ nelson

    If men take the woman’s advice and give a little foreplay & accept some, the sex will be SOOO much better. For both parties. SO INVEST IN THE FOREPLAY FELLAS. You’ll like it.

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  • shakeria

    sen on full stomach=really bad idea…love all the points

    • shakeria

      sex*

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  • Tony Sloany

    Ha good advice for me! Thanx for the 2 drinks tip and for the record, us guys don’t want sex on a full stomach either. We like to satisfy our needs one at a time.

  • Lola21

    Thank you my boyfriend does not understand that i need foreplay to be in the mood he just likes to get right into it ,he doesn’t set the mood kiss me from head to toe or nothing and it gets like a task instead of pleasurable.

  • http://hizzandherzorganics.com/ nelson

    I love this article!! Especially pointing out that WE NEED FOREPLAY to get anything out of the act. That Harder not meaning faster thing is a good one too. WHY IN THE HELL do men think that you mean faster when you say harder?? It is annoying as F$%K!!

    • http://profile.yahoo.com/HIPQEGYZWHZASZEAR4JJ3Z6D2U michaelgc

       My question is, if harder doesn’t mean faster, then what DOES it mean? We can’t make it any harder, so what are you asking for then? Quit assuming we’re going to know what you mean, and simply SAY what you mean.

      • http://hizzandherzorganics.com/ nelson

        Well since FASTER MEANS speeding up, I would assume a woman that wanted it faster would say that. HARDER IMPLIES with more FORCE & DEEPER GRINDING!! You know, long stroke it instead of hopping like a wind up toy or a rabbit. So for future references, if a lady says, “HARDER” in the heat of passion……… PUT A DIP IN YOUR BACK, MOVE in and out DEEPLY & “IN SLOW MOTION” for her. As Juvenile said in his song.

      • Ahava

        See. This is the type of thing that frays a woman’s LAST NERVE. You try to teach something but some dudes just don’t LISTEN…

        Harder means HARDER, Michael. Your response shows your inadequacy…good lovin’ is about learning, so instead of being defensive about and throwing it back on the woman, TRY to learn something.
        And like Nelson said, harder implies using more FORCE not speed. When women want it faster, they say, “go FASTER…” 

        “Harder” isn’t some special code with a hidden meaning or secret request. It’s just plain old english. Harder. Faster. <–Two DIFFERENT words. Two DIFFERENT meanings. 

        Women shouldn't need a dictionary, thesaurus, or lexicon in bed just to get satisfied. Just pay attention and DO WHAT SHE'S ASKING YOU TO DO. Period.

        Likewise, ladies, if you ain't saying s**t, don't expect the man to read your mind (you see the type simple problems that come up even when you DO say what you want), if you can't share with your partner what works for you then that bad lovin' is on you…

        • http://www.facebook.com/jeffrey.muhr Jeffrey Muhr

          Way to communicate and educate someone! Call them inadequate! The guy simply asked a question, and you attacked him. All this stuff about “It’s simple, You must do this or that PERIOD” is inaccurate, egotistical, rude, obnoxious, and uncompassionate. No wonder you feel you have problems being understood by guys…. Partners need to communicate with each other so that both people can get what they want. If they are not a good fit and one partner or the other can’t do things differently, then they need to talk about moving on. If they can’t do that in a loving way do that without being harsh and confrontational, they are doomed from the start.

          • Guest

            Actually, Michael’s comment was rude to start with “Quit assuming we’re going to know what you mean, and simply SAY what you mean.”  Well she did say what she meant and that was – HARDER. Michael started it and Michael got what he deserved. 

          • http://hizzandherzorganics.com/ nelson

            SHUT THE HELL UP, JEFFEREY!! You are a man. of course you would get offended by AHAVA’S response. 
            IT IS SIMPLE!! We aren’t children and we have heard these 2 words our entire lives. IF MEN CAN’T distinguish between the two that’s their problem. The long & short of it is this, once a man hears ‘HARDER’ they instantly want to go faster because they have been holding back from doing so the whole time. YA’LL LOVE TO DO THAT FAST @$$ BULL$%!T………………… NO ONE’S BEING CONFRONTATIONAL. Just actual & factual. He got rude & defensive first. CAN’T TAKE THE HEAT………. Uh you know the rest.

            • Jim McTeigue

              There IS no way to go harder without going faster as well… at least on the stroke itself. It’s a matter of simple physics, if we you want more force, but don’t change the weight of the object the force is moving, then the object will have to move faster. Energy = mass x velocity squared. To get more energy (force, harderness, whatever) you either increase mass, or increase velocity. Since increasing mass isn’t likely to happen in the middle of things… you have to increase speed to get more of a pounding. Guys can compensate by putting a bit more time between strokes, to make it seem like the same pace, but, the plain and simple facts are: if he puts more muscle behind it, it’s going to go faster. If you want proof of this, go swing a baseball bat or any other object.
              If you swing it harder, it will go faster. If you think you are swinging
              harder, but it doesn’t go faster, then you are using contrasting muscles (tricep/bicep, etc.)
              to add resistance and because that resistance counters the extra force and prevents you from increasing velocity,
              you aren’t swinging any “harder” (from an end result stand point) at all. Guys can push with more force once we are in as far as we can easily go, but that would be DEEPER, not harder. So, ladies, if you don’t want your man confused, stop giving him impossible directions, or, acknowledge that HARDER actually DOES mean faster…

              • http://hizzandherzorganics.com/ nelson

                WELL MAYBE that’s just your skills player boy, CAUSE I have told a man to go harder and he figured out that I MEANT, PULL THAT THING OUT SLOW & push IT BACK WITH A NICE FORCE AND digging those hips in. YOU continue on doing what you do. NOT MY problem. HAVE YOUR ‘OPINION’, but HARDER DOESN’T EQUAL FASTER!! SORRY to disappoint you!

            • Jim McTeigue

              There IS no way to go harder without going faster as well… at least on the stroke itself. It’s a matter of simple physics, if we you want more force, but don’t change the weight of the object the force is moving, then the object will have to move faster. Energy = mass x velocity squared. To get more energy (force, harderness, whatever) you either increase mass, or increase velocity. Since increasing mass isn’t likely to happen in the middle of things… you have to increase speed to get more of a pounding. Guys can compensate by putting a bit more time between strokes, to make it seem like the same pace, but, the plain and simple facts are: if he puts more muscle behind it, it’s going to go faster. If you want proof of this, go swing a baseball bat or any other object.
              If you swing it harder, it will go faster. If you think you are swinging
              harder, but it doesn’t go faster, then you are using contrasting muscles (tricep/bicep, etc.)
              to add resistance and because that resistance counters the extra force and prevents you from increasing velocity,
              you aren’t swinging any “harder” (from an end result stand point) at all. Guys can push with more force once we are in as far as we can easily go, but that would be DEEPER, not harder. So, ladies, if you don’t want your man confused, stop giving him impossible directions, or, acknowledge that HARDER actually DOES mean faster…

            • lol

              DUDE. Or DUDETT. Whichever. Actually, we could’ve done without the stupid part about Michael from Ahava…The rest of what they said though was fine. All I saw was a question. A simple question. They were just wondering about something. That was all, and that was it. Infact. He even says in the start of it that it was a question, just as Jeff said…The guy Michael wasn’t rude, inadequate, or even defensive! He was asking a question, plain and simple…and nothing else.
              By the way, don’t tell Jeff to shut up. ;D If you have the indecency to even say that, then you should of shut up in the first place. ^_^
              I hope you have a good day. =)

        • http://hizzandherzorganics.com/ nelson

          GO HEAD GIRL!! TELL UM!

        • Steve S.

          Relax. Harder and faster are two different words, but they are linked. Going faster does increase the force. So it is natural for someone to assume that by going faster and thereby increasing the force, they have satisfied the request. Again, how hard is it (No pun intended.) to slow your man down and tell him what you want? It would take two seconds, tops. E.g. “Hey, Hon, That’s not what I meant. Could you try this instead? Cool. Thanks.” Now, he’s happy. You’re happy. Everyone wins. No more angry internet posts because your man made a reasonable assumption and tried to please
          you.

        • John

          Force is equal to mass times acceleration therefore to get more force you either add more mass or more acceleration. If you have more acceleration you are going to be going faster when you get there.

          So faster is harder unless you want your man eating a cheeseburger during sex.

          • lol

            lol

            • lol

              John, your’re right, and that comment made me lol. xD

      • Sonyab602

        Harder means harder.  Ram it in harder – not faster.  Does that work for you?

    • Steve S.

      The reason for that is simple physics. F=ma. (Force equals mass times acceleration.)  In the short term it is difficult to increase mass, so you are left to increase acceleration to increase force. If you mean something other than this, then say so.

  • http://www.facebook.com/ETA419 Ameenah Rahim

    5 out 7 aint bad… but I can say we have to be having some pretty wild sex to bruise my brest…but you get me drunk im either going to fall asleep or were going all night….

  • I love joye

    LOVE is so beautiful and so nice ,we need love ,we like the people who likes me back . singles ,who want to find someone by our side . in’terracialsocial.COMits  a place for our dream came true .

  • BlackDiamond

    to the people making the comments of which are inaccurate or not, keep in mind  that every woman is different. some love to cuddle after sex, some do not. some require foreplay, some do not. 

    • Jim_mcteigue

      Then perhaps it would best not to run articles that claim to speak to every woman’s experience…

    • Jim_mcteigue

      Then perhaps it would best not to run articles that claim to speak to every woman’s experience…

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  • Jolie

    **emails link to article to husband…HIGH IMPORTANCE**

  • Pepe

    All 7 point were on point!!!!

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  • Bustpa

    When a woman is dry, please don’t spit on her vagina. This is just plain disgusting. Use lube.

    • http://www.facebook.com/people/Genia-Grier/187300065 Genia Grier

      Too many guys trying to do what they see in porn *smh.

      • jusmedlin

        EXACTLY!!!!!!

    • yolanda

      so true….lmao

    • jusmedlin

      THANK YOU!!!!!!  MEN WATCH TOO MUCH P**N>

    • jusmedlin

      THANK YOU!!!!!   I’M GLAD SOMEBODY SAID IT.

    • Gert B Frobe

       You need to hang out with a new crowd if this is a problem for you.

    • McShade

      Who the hell does that? When a Woman is dry it means that you(hipotetical “you”) haven’t been given proper atention efore sex, and that means… your guy is an idiot.

      By the way… telling a guy to use lube is just wrong, that’s giving him a permit to be lazy, make him use his tongue!

      If you don’t teach and demand you’ll never have good sex!

      • http://twitter.com/Dakunclear Joseph

        I hate using my tongue but if your good with your hands then that can also work as well ;)

    • Da C.G.

      I find this funny, because I don’t like spitting, but have met multiple women that DO LIKE BEING SPIT ON EVERYWHERE.

      Maybe you shouldn’t stereotype your own gender with what YOU prefer huh?

  • Mz_chocolatina

    Ha!!! The 2+ drinks comment is true. .  … ..”Honey you will be down their for hours”. . .Sometimes you just cant reach that point. . lol. .

    • jusmedlin

      I’M MORE LIKELY TO FALL ASLEEP AFTER TWO DRINKS, ESPECIALLY LONG ISLANDS.  LOL

  • RenJennM

    Already found THREE inaccurate statements. First of all, I rarely like to cuddle after sex. If anything, I either want to have more sex or I’m already knocked out asleep. Second of all, sometimes (if not most times) harder DOES mean faster. But I do agree that sometimes, it should be just hard and slow, like big splashes of waves hitting the shore. Thirdly, I get extremely horny when I’m drunk so uh, yeah. lol

  • Kakes

    Wrong!! I must disagree with this mess. It is inaccurate. The only good point was sex on a full stomach sucks. Everything else is BS.

    • LisaLuvless

      I agree, I was looking for something to stand out and make me say “YES so true!”…but it only came for the full stomach.
      The “harder” comment made pause and think… Is the daddy long leg soft?.. Did it go soft when he put it in?..ke gal work hun.

    • 30thoughts

      Just because it doesn’t apply to you doesn’t mean it’s inaccurate. Several of them I have talked about with friends.  Especially the 2+ drink one and the one about foreplay.  

  • sweettea

    If it hurts we’re stopping. We’re not continuing until you do it right. If you keep quiet about these things you might end up really hurt and explaining yourself in the ER