7 Things We Wish Men Knew About Our Bodies

February 28th, 2012 - By Julia Austin
"Beautiful black woman"

johngloverspeaks.com

After enough men and enough mishaps, you realize that there are some things men just didn’t get the memo on when it comes to the woman’s body. Like these:

"T-shirt with handprints on boobs"

zazzle.com

 

Boobs bruise

Sometime after high school, all guys learned—no more hickies! But, that doesn’t mean bruises are a thing of the past. Ever woken up the next morning with black and blue finger prints on your chest? Some men get a little too excited and in the heat of passion, don’t realize that they’re grabbing your breasts as if they’re planning on stealing them. And while it’s nice we get them that excited, it’s not nice wearing turtlenecks for the next week.

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  • B-A

    It’s obvious most of you haven’t had men that actually care about pleasing you

  • B-A

    And this was not useful at all. Common sense surely prevails with all of these or is that just me.

  • jooooosh

    Wooow i gotta say it women, you say harder, if you want it to go into you with more force that means you need more velocity, women seriously, its basic physics, so if your gonna moan about it being faster try shutting up and just enjoying it, you might find if you stopped moaning for 5 seconds it would be the best sex you ever had. but yeah to get it harder you need it faster, try this punch a wall, then punch the wall harder… you will have to swing faster, now go get some ice for the hand and make me a sandwich.

    • canaduck

      Angry virgin spotted.

  • Nick

    Hitachi Back Massager, that’s all i have to say.

  • Karen

    That’s BS… speak for yourself… what a joke “it does nothing for a woman”… HARD AND FAST is exactly what she loses her mind over girly!

    • cxd

      I agree with you Karen.   As a male, I know 1st hand that with certain women, “faster” can produce earthquake like climaxes in women.  Men, when they shout ‘do that again’ – Do  It or say “oh sh@#t, I’m coming).

      So I don’t know what the author it talking about.

  • Fladabosco

    Things men want women to know:

    - Sometimes we need about 3 seconds of foreplay and the rest of the time we are alternating between ‘I can’t believe I am with this beautiful woman’ and thinking about baseball. And sometimes we don’t.
    - You know, most of us don’t give a crap if you orgasm or not.
    - Most men have one or two things that they fantasize about ALL the time. If you don’t like those things help the man pretend.
    - If something is wrong or uncomfortable or if you need or want something TELL US. Don’t be mad at us just because you can’t verbalize what you want. Don’t be mean but say what you want.
    - We don’t think it’s all about our package. Uh, yes we do. Especially younger guys. Until we mature the message we get from our bodies is ‘your body is a package, a brain to process the desires that affect your package and stuff like kidneys and spleens we never think about.’  You have no idea how important that package is to him. You want him to love you? Treat his package like it’s a special present he is giving to you.
    - If your man finishes before you want him to, then make sure he finishes twice each session. The first one is for him, the second is so you aren’t left breathless – or are left extremely breathless!
    - When you are having PMS or some version of it don’t take it out on us. We’ll be there to hold your hand and try to make you uncomfortable, but why would you expect love and tenderness when instead of saying ‘I don’t feel really good right now and it would be nice if you (rubbed my feet, made me tea, etc)’ you say ‘You’re (a jerk and I hate everything about you, you’re the source of all of my problems, etc.)
    - Our compulsion to get up and do something right after sex is natural. Couples that are like beached whales are more vulnerable than when the man is conscious and up and around.
    - We want you to like us and have fun with us in bed! If you come off as mean or bossy or uncaring it hurts.

    • Sonyab602

      Why would we do ANY OF THESE things when you clearly state “- – You know, most of us don’t give a crap if you orgasm or not.”  this makes me say, therefore, A. You aren’t good enough for me and B. feel free to go F yourself!

    • Anna613

      Not sure if trolling or just a jerk.

  • Bob

    These are all pretty good General rules,but of course there are exceptions? I have a lot of  female friends & the ones I hear the most are the over active chest massage & the jack hammer action that some times Bruises their pelvis?  A full stomach isnt usually good for anything but a nap?

    • anotherguest

       I think the confusion about harder/faster is that the ladies DO mean faster – within the stroke. Each stroke HAS to be faster, to be harder. Don’t believe that, than ask a physicist. BUT, that has no bearing on how short the intervals BETWEEN thrusts must be. So, harder doesn’t mean more thrusts per minute, but it does mean that each thrust will, in isolation, be moving faster. You can do the same number of thrusts per amount of time, while increasing the force (by increasing the speed) of the strokes. To put in another way, you can lightly toss a football 3 times in ten seconds (or 5 or ten, whatever), or you can DRILL it 3 times in ten seconds. The drilled ones are moving faster by definition, and that’s separate from throwing the ball MORE times in those ten seconds.

      • anotherguest

         i didn’t mean to reply to bob, here. just a general comment.

      • Fool_Killer

        Well, yes, but I still don’t think that is what she wants.  To use her own example, her head would still be hitting the headboard just as hard… just not as often.  I’m still not getting it.

  • Campesino99

    This website is intended for women readers, right? So why would there be a piece about the experience women report having with men not understanding their bodies? It just doesn’t make any sense.

    • Dilaha

      Because we like to know that we are not the only ones feeling this way. Also, the accuracy of the list makes it incredibly funny to read. Yes, next it needs to be posted on the Maxim magazine website or something…as a service to men…and women!!!

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Chamo-El-Gorila/508004879 Chamo El Gorila

    Seriously the women you surveyed for this article must have had a stick up their a** mate

  • BAH

    Wow what a misconstrued and generalized view of all women.  

  • laura

    i’d love to read this whole article, but i’ve been on this page less than 10 minutes (leading me to this article) and am tired of having to pause a video advertisement some 7-10 times PER ARTICLE.  this is obnoxious.  i’m out.

  • Janee

    So about the cocktails….random fact….it’s illegal to give or get consent from someone in the state of Missouri after you or they are intoxicated and will cause things to be classified as rape. Check your laws people and don’t blame it on the alcohol….might get you some jail time

    • Maddaddy425

      I sorry but what does that have to do with anything.  Nobody talking about rape.  Two people go out as a couple and have some drinks.  Sex is not considered rape.  Rape is considered rape, stop shouting rape when all it does is make it harder to prosecute the lousy men who do rape women and come up with all kinds of excuses.  On the real, nobody likes sex on a full stomach.  And I didn’t know that’s what was going on when my wife has too many drinks.

      • http://hizzandherzorganics.com/ nelson

        Yeah that comment doesn’t even go with what the article is about. SERIOUSLY, NOT ONE BIT!!

      • http://hizzandherzorganics.com/ nelson

        Yeah that comment doesn’t even go with what the article is about. SERIOUSLY, NOT ONE BIT!!

    • Maddaddy425

      I sorry but what does that have to do with anything.  Nobody talking about rape.  Two people go out as a couple and have some drinks.  Sex is not considered rape.  Rape is considered rape, stop shouting rape when all it does is make it harder to prosecute the lousy men who do rape women and come up with all kinds of excuses.  On the real, nobody likes sex on a full stomach.  And I didn’t know that’s what was going on when my wife has too many drinks.

    • Gert B Frobe

       And who lives in or cares about Missouri.

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