Are You A User?: 6 Ways To Tell You Use People to Get What You Want

February 21st, 2012 - By Erica Renee

From books like the 48 Laws of Power to cliché sayings that reference the art of getting what you want, some have immediately come up with the ideal that you have to hurt or use people to get ahead.  While you can’t always be Miss Nice Girl in every situation, there is a clear difference between capitalizing on opportunities and using people and taking their kindness for granted.

It’s human nature to operate out of a self-driven nature. If someone will let you borrow the money, indefinitely, why not take your time paying it back? Or if the guy who has a huge crush on you will shower you with lavish gifts, why not accept them although you know you have no interest in him whatsoever? All of these things may seem harmless, but are in fact ways of using people to your advantage. That’s not cool.

While you can sit and attempt to justify reasons for these actions, try explaining them to karma, who requires no explanations, just payback. It’s really as simple as the golden rule when deciding if you are a user. Ask yourself one simple, yet effective question, would I want this done to me?

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  • lisamae

    this describes my husband in detail my family told me he was just using me  these signs  raised there ugly just a few months after the marriage.

  • Guest

    This sounds like  naricissism to me.

  • Wuluwulu

    I had friends over this past weekend and one got sick and I saw how the other treated the sick one.  After cooking dinner, breakfast and cleaning up all on my own with only the sick one offering any assistance.  I asked the other one to put the kettle on to make some tea for the sick one, and to help her out and she would not do anything.  Only wanted to lay about and pretend she was at a hotel and getting pampered. The sad part is, users are so manipulative and stealthy that it takes a long time to discover who they really are.  On top of it they are consummate liars.  Be watchful.

  • Jcstyllion

    The problem with this is the people that are truly like this will never answer these questions honestly. Therefore, they will not see this in themselves.

  • Sugar_Spice

    I think it shows your insecurities when you have to use people to get ahead or get what you want.  Real women & men don’t need to use people but can get it for themselves.

    • LaTasha

      I agree!

  • Natasha

    I dated a couple of users, now I’m happy I’m single.