Do White People Make You Uncomfortable?

February 22nd, 2012 - By Toya Sharee

Source: blackandmarriedwithkids.com

The first professional job I ever had was teaching sexual health part-time at a nationally recognized non-profit.  I traveled a short 20-minute commute outside of the city into the surrounding suburbs, but the differences between the two areas were like night and day.  As I breezed along the expressway every morning and left the busy hustle and bustle of the inner city behind, I would always look at the opposing traffic braking and beeping loud and do a happy little shoulder-lean to my music over the fact that I didn’t have to be stuck in that mess everyday anymore.  When I got off at my exit, it was clear that I wasn’t in Kansas anymore; the most popular spot in an area of all interstate and backwoods was the local Wal-Mart.

I was definitely out of my element, but I didn’t feel the urge to hightail it back to the city so I could be surrounded by people who looked like me and spoke like me. I embraced the duality that had just become my personal and professional life.  This particular position meant that I was included in the administrative level of the organization, and surprisingly, I didn’t notice that not only was I one of the youngest employees on this level, but also the darkest.  As I entered community meetings and corporate conferences, I knew based on my appearance alone that people thought I looked more like the young women I was teaching more than a facilitator.  Still, I wasn’t uncomfortable, and even though I may have looked like I should be asking the questions instead of answering them, I knew that I belonged in those meetings.  I’m educated, professional and damn good at what I do.

One of the things that I strive for in my career is to challenge young people to step outside of the world they know.  So many young people are afraid to leave the 10 blocks of their neighborhood and unfortunately for some, that means that the only thing they will ever see are a lot of the same, whether that includes hustlers, baby mommas, crime, poverty–whatever.  My parents always gave me a certain pride about my community, but they also made my childhood rich with experiences that took me outside of my familiar surroundings.  As a result I feel just as comfortable at the block party BBQ as I do at a black tie gala.

But I’ll never forget a class I once observed. While a co-worker and I discussed the different opportunities students would have to visit places like the zoo and the art museum, the first question one young lady asked was, “Will there be white people there?”  As we went on to discuss why this was her primary concern, she went on to reveal that she had never been an actual victim of racism, but simply felt like she didn’t belong and wasn’t comfortable around them.

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  • Stephie<3

    I think it really depends on your upbringing as to how each race sees each other. If it makes a difference to anyone reading this, I’m white. But really, race doesn’t make any difference in the way I view someone – to be honest, I don’t even notice most of the time. I would never use skin colour as a way to determine what I thought of someone or to explain a certain behaviour. What difference does it make anyway? Does it even need to be brought up? It’s just the pigment in your skin.. anyway, have a lovely day folks =D xx

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/XP6ZODGC2RANRFPO4RMGXDUZ5I nandi m

    Im comfortable on either side. Im a well travelled, african born, british citizen. 

    Amongst black people, im generally ok – even with the ghetto folk who made me uncomfortable in my younger days. 

    Around white people, its funny because in Africa, we lived in an upper middle class neighbourhood which as mostly white people, foreigners (Portuguese, Spanish etc) and wealthy asians. We would always be warned to stay away from white people coz even in the 90′s the N word was still thrown around a lot and police didn’t investigate white folk out of fear of them (aint that some mess! lol). The slave mentality…
    Now im older though, i’m still confronted with racism, but for the most part, living in predominantly white England, I have gotten used to being the only black girl on my cheer squad, and the only black journalist at a major tv news network. 

    I have also grown closer to asian people because they know what its like to be discriminated against, and understand our struggle better than anyone. 

    In a few weeks I leave for china to teach english at a school where I will no doubt be the only black teacher there. But i figured a) nothing racist surprises me anymore lol so whatever comes my way in asia, I dont care coz seeing the world is my dream and one bad experience won’t dampen that. And b) The only way they will know black people aren’t what the media potray us as is if they see for themselves. Someone has to cross the threshold or no progress gets made <3

  • Nosexwithwhitepeople

    If she felt she was uncomfortable around white people and didn’t belong she was IN FACT A VICTIM OF RACISM as all non-white people are. 

  • Honi

    My father was in the Army, so we were around everybody. When we settled here, my brother and I were the only black kids attending a particular church. I went to elementary and junior high schools where whites were the majority. When we moved here, the neighborhood was mostly white, but slowly began to change to mostly black. When I’ve been in ‘hood’ areas, unfailingly someone would ask me what I was doing there, or saying I don’t belong in this neighborhood. So, I’ve not been uncomfortable around whites, at all. I’ve had my most discomfort around certain ‘hoods’, though it’s never stopped me from going around.