Things That Scare Women Off, But Shouldn’t

February 15, 2012  |  

 

"things that scare women"

The dating world is one of games. We are taught all sorts of ways to hide or thoughts and feelings. All sorts of ways to make one thing look another way. And so, when we meet someone who doesn’t play by the rules, we often think, “What is wrong with this person? You can’t just…say that!” While it’s true some people are just needy or overly aggressive, some have complete self confidence, and just don’t want to play the game. So you don’t necessarily need to freak out if a man does this:

"Couple on date"

He asks you for a second date, on the first:

Women are used to the torture of waiting to see if they get that next day “I had fun last night” text and then wondering did he send that to be polite or because he liked me? And then waiting for the answer to that question by seeing if he asks her out again. But that’s the problem—we are used to that. So, if a guy suggests a second date before the first is over, some women think “uh oh, NEEDY alert!” Not necessarily. Think about the date. Has anything else about him indicated desperation? If not, then this guy could just have self-confidence and wants to save you the trouble of the torture and let you know straight up he wants to see you again, now. Kind of nice of him, right?

 "Couple flirting at bar"

He talks openly about intimate things:

He analyzes his parents’ relationship, or even his own past relationships. Don’t jump to thinking this guy is a head case, or an over sharer. You may just have landed yourself someone who is emotionally developed and comfortable talking about anything and trying to connect with you on a deeper level than the usual, “what do you like about your job?” nonsense.

"Dinner party"

He asks you to meet his friends early:

Many women read this as a sign of “uh oh, he’s already trying to initiate me into his life.” Not so fast. Bringing you around his friends does not mean he has decided that they will love you, in fact it could mean quite the opposite. He could be trying to see if they will like you, and if there is anything they pick up about you that he didn’t.

"Man hitting on woman"

Open compliments:

Women are used to men that play the game of making them “earn their compliments.” If you’ve read the wildly popular (and wildly frightening) book The Game, you really know what I mean. So, if a guy, on a first date, after some chatting, looks across the table at you and says something to the extent of “you seem like a really kind person,” many women can be disarmed by this. They have no idea what to say or think. “Is this guy creepy? Is he just saying that because he is really needy—I mean how much does he really know about me?” Honestly, from a short conversation, he could have easily discovered a few great things about you. It’s just that most guys won’t come out and compliment you on them immediately.

"Couple sitting on opposite sides of bed"

He doesn’t want to sleep with you:

A woman feels humiliated if she tries to initiate sex, for the first time ever with a guy, and he denies her. She feels like she has some unattractively large and aggressive sex drive and that the guy is not attracted to her at all. Not always the case! Believe it or not, there are a select few guys out there who wait to sleep with a girl. They know that they are prone to lose interest right after sex, or that they perhaps become too needy after it, so they hold off. But, they don’t judge the girl for trying to go for it. If everything seems like it’s going amazing, and he just doesn’t want to have sex yet, you don’t need to hide in your corner. Gracefully say, “I understand” and have patience.

"Couple flirting"

“I’m ready for something serious:”

We are not used to hearing this. Are there guys out there looking for something serious? Of course there are! But, most of them hide the fact like they would a murder. So, if a man comes out and lets a woman know he is ready for something serious, she will often read it as needy. And while that is the case sometimes, there are some men out there who are trying to weed out party girls that are just looking to have some fun and toy with their hearts.

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  • Tuerlove

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  • Reejenny59

    LOVE is so beautiful ,and we should treat our love are careful .in’terracialsocial.COMwe share lots of ideas for our life . love ,and career .its for interracial sing’les. to know each other.for our true love 

  • Reejenny59

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  • Candacey Doris

    Who’s afraid of this? 

    • Natgrea69

       Women may say that they wanted a good man but as proven above it’s clearly untrue

  • Akosua123

    that last girl (on point 7 ) is GORGEOUS!

  • MixedUpInVegas

    Good on ya, Aliyluv!  May you have many happy years together!

  • Pingback: THINGS THAT SCARE WOMEN OFF, BUT SHOULDN’T « msstraightnocut()

  • MixedUpInVegas

    This is the stuff that is supposed to scare women off?  Goodness, where did the writer get her material?  Men like these can be pure gold, whether a relationship results from it or not.  At the very least, the woman will experience a man in the round–complete and honest.  Anyone who is frightened off by these things isn’t a grownup yet.  Go for it, experience it and enjoy it for what it is!!

    • Aliyluv

      I married this type of Man and its been blissful ever since.

  • Whoknow

    This article is RIDICULOUS!  The writer should be shot!

  • NelleBelle

    I recently started dating a man who is pretty much all of these things.I was confused at first because he wasn’t playing the games I was used to. I’m young but not a dummy. I’m hanging on to this one.

  • Missme77

    Only women who are afraid of these men are the ones use to getting beat/abused by men or grew up in a household that was abusive. Smh it’s a sad truth though.

    • michael perry

      Not true most women think this way until they realize they’re thinking too much.

  • V2

    It’s kind of funny how men are often slammed as being afraid of commitment when it comes to relationships but the one’s who aren’t, and initiate the first steps toward it, are written off as “needy”. A dude really can’t win nowadays!

    • LaLaLaMeansILoveYou

      Not necessarily true. I was reading this article and the whole time thinking “huh???”…any woman who is scared off by these things (a nice, sincere, gentleman who is actually interested in her) is either 1) too young to know any better, 2) a “bag lady”, or 3) a dayum fool.

      • Pahleeze

        I was thinking the same thing. LOL! No woman within her right mind would run from this unless she is what you said and add the following 4) golddigger 5) low self esteem 6) a maneater #smh

      • Smmmoke

        Good to see a woman that feels this way but understand that you are the exception.

      • FromUR2UB

        I agree.  Some of this is ridiculous.  If a woman writes a guys off for telling her she seems like a kind person, or likes her enough to want to arrange a second date during the first one, then she deserves and probably prefers the kind of guys she’s used to.

      • Native_Noir

        Co-sign!!!

      • Cha-Cha

        I was thinking the exact same thing… I thought this had to be a joke. Women don’t really run from this kind of behavior, do they?

    • Mixedmingle

      My friend just met a black man on Mixedmingle.COMit’s where for men and women looking for interracial’ship for a fabulous lifestyle
      It’s a nice place for black white sing’les, to interact with each other…no bounds or extremes in front of true love. 

    • Lickupon

       I agree…when asked by a new woman ‘what are you looking for?’ I always reply ‘friendship and to have a good time.’ The skeptics who seek out character flaws tend to think that I just want some azz. I tell them yeah I want that as well but you gotta be bringing more than that to keep me around.

      But seriously, what’s wrong with just tryna have fun? That’s the initial goal right? It’s too stressful to try to think ahead if a person will be THE ONE in the beginning. Hell people don’t even know if they like someone yet and they already worried about long-term stuff.

    • Kim3473sf28

      My friend just met a black man on Mixedmingle.COMit’s where for men and women looking for interracial’ship for a fabulous lifestyle
      It’s a nice place for black white sing’les, to interact with each other…no bounds or extremes in front of true love.