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The decision by Laurence Fishburne’s daughter Montana to become a Adult Videos star obviously grabbed quite a few headlines (as of Tuesday, the term “Montana Fishburne sex tape” is one of the hottest searches on Google).  When it comes to the choices of news media, a steamy sex story about a celebrity will always trump mass murder in foreign countries or the threat of nuclear war.  We Americans are fortunate enough that we can ignore important stuff and focus on the ridiculous.

Part of me feels horribly for Laurence Fishburne, whom I presume is incredibly embarrassed about the fact that men (and women) across the world will be able to watch his daughter in her most vulnerable moments.  Another part of me feels for Montana, who has had a set of experiences that now lead her to embrace Mother Nature in the most unnatural and humiliating way.

All the while, there is a conversation to be had about whether or not “we old men” do a good enough job of allowing our daughters to be expressive of their sexuality.  A woman who admits to doing things that nearly everyone does in private is sometimes labeled as a garden tool and ultimately disrespected.  This facilitates a culture in which the very thing that makes us human (sex) has been reduced to a nasty, vile and taboo topic of conversation.

Even with all that said, I am the father of three daughters.  If any one of them ever came to me claiming that they’d chosen to pursue a career of pornography, I am not sure if I’d give her the hug she needed or violently “hug her neck” with my bare hands.  It’s hard for a father to imagine his little girl “getting freaky” on camera, the same way it’s difficult for a little boy to imagine his mother “getting it on” with the mailman.  In fact, my mother convinced me that she was a virgin until I was about 15 years old, and I am still hoping that she is.

I recall having a conversation with my daughter about sex.  This wasn’t the only conversation I’ve had with my girls about the birds and the bees, since I want them to be prepared for the choices they will encounter.  But this conversation stood out because it honestly shocked me.  One day while driving along the highway, my daughter (who was 11 at the time) said, “Daddy, what would you say if I told you I have dreams about sex?”

Being the calm, cool, collected father that I pretend to be, I simply replied, “Well honey, sex is natural, as long as it’s with someone you love and you protect yourself.” She then looked out the window for a second, took a deep breath, and came back with a slammer follow up question.  “Well, what if the dreams are about NASTY sex?”

I would finish this story, but I don’t remember the rest.  I think I just blacked out and woke up in my driveway with a Twizzler hanging out of my mouth.  So, given how that little conversation with my daughter affected me so deeply, I can’t imagine what Laurence Fishburne must be feeling.  I also wonder if Montana knows what she’s getting into, since a sex tape made at the age of 19 will still be around when you are a 35-year-old mother of three.  Either way, I sympathize with the both of them, since I can’t imagine any of this ending well.

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