More than Half of Singles Have Sex on the First Date

February 8, 2012  |  

So much for getting to know someone first. Results of the same survey that found more single Americans are interested in love over marriage, also showed singles are quick to jump into bed on the first night.

In all, 55 percent of singles reported having sex on a first date—66 percent of men and 44 percent of women. Sex therapist Laura Berman thinks the increase in online dating—21 percent of the respondents met the last person they dated online—and flirting on social media sites has a lot to do with this stat. She says all of the e-interaction makes people feel like they already know someone by the time they get to the actual first date so it’s not the same as a one-night stand or first-date hookup.

“It’s almost as if by the time they’ve had the first physical date, it might have been the equivalent of three dates,” she says. “I think this online sharing has definitely escalated some of this familiarity and quickness in which people get into sexual scenarios.”

Nearly a quarter of respondents said they typically have sex after one, two or three dates; 25 percent said “when the other person is ready,” and 19 percent said “when we agree to an exclusive relationship.” Another 13 percent said “when we are married.”

Overall, 58 percent of singles have had a one-night stand—65 percent of men and 51 percent of women—so giving it up early is definitely becoming a lot less taboo.

Are you down for sex on the first date or do you usually make him wait?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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  • Pivyque

    Well…my husband and I waited until marriage, but to each it’s own. After my “first love” and I broke up, I decided to be celibate and just wait for the right guy. Some women can handle just having flings and whatnot, but I have never tried it because I am sure that I am not one of those women. When I lost it to my “first love”, I fell “in love” lol It took me 5 years to realize that I didn’t really love him. I was glad that he was a good guy, because I would have hated to go through that experience with an a–hole ! But, after that, I had to just stop and make the decision to wait and be sure that I wanted to be with that person.

  • Dnl005

    I’m a proud member of the 13%!!!


    It happened to me. What I’ve learned from that is, if you’re the don’t-know-how-to-wait type, don’t be the we-had-sex-we-are-engaged-now type either. 8 times out of 10, he won’t return your calls.

  • Happy

    Jill Scott said it best in her song…” I’m making you wait for the fifth date… I need to know if you’re crazy… ” hahaha!

  • lovehubby

    ,,,,,had sex on the third date…..been marrried to him for four years.

  • Lalatarea

    i make em wait three months, enough time to get assn accurate hiv test result!

    • Pivyque

      With the new strain of HIV/AIDS , it takes 6 months to show up in your blood stream.

  • Liish

    I’m not gon front like I haven’t been that type. But ideally, moving forward in my age and wanting something serious, I will wait. I don’t want to go around giving it up to people I’m not invested in. I want to know all parts of your name and your sexual health history. I want to know if I like you as a person.

  • Doesntmatter

    I made my husband wait 5 months. I truly think that has contributed to the reason why we are married. Some may say 5 months is no big deal, but we took the time to learn each other. Get tested first. Herpes dont care about condoms

  • Freebee33

    There are diseases out there people….smh

  • Liddlelady

    My best friend slept with her boyfriend on the first night. They have been together for 15 years and are getting married next year. So it depends on the guy I guess.

    • Nina Dashotta

      It took 15 years to marry but 15 minutes to sleep with??? O_o mmmkk then..

      • queenie

        lol right… that wasn’t the greatest example!

      • LOL!!

        • Smacks_hoes

          Haha!! Worst example. 15 years? If I have to wlengthener than 5 years of dating a man for him to purpose I would just give up.

          • Purrfit22

            Why? Why do people assume everyone wants marriage????? Some people are happy with THIER situation! Everyone is different if these people are HAPPY let em be! My parents have been unhappily married 38yrs but are the first ONES to give marriage advice?? I dont understand it i know alot of people in relationships whohave BETTER relationships then people have healthy happy MARRIAGES! Key word HAPPY why do people assume marriage means HAPPY????? 15years is along time these days for ANY relationship something is working! People are turning marriage into a joke! Marry for the right reasons LOVE and HAPPINESS im not knocking marriage but if your in a raggedy relationship why get married because you been togather 15 years what is sopose to happen poof good marriage NO

            • Pivyque

              Of course people don’t have to get married, but these two ARE getting married after 15 years. When that happens, it is natural to wonder what took so long. Assuming that both parties believe in the sanctity of marriage, why did they wait so long if they knew that they wanted to be with each other? I am glad that they waited until they were ready, but how do you not make the decision whether someone is a lifetime partner and to give them those legal benefits or not by year 6, 8 or 10?

      • CoffeeLover

        That’s funny

  • Hmmm

    This is not a surprise or a major progressive development. We marry less. So whether he/she is loose or a good person or whatever matters less. I bet that overwhelmingly, me and women who marry get past the first date. 

  • tastythoughts

    man please…if he wants to call he will if he doesnt he wont…whether he gets in on the first or last date….by now we would think we knew this as women 

  •  I have had sex on the first date, but of course dates rarely to never lead to a second date because the man has already gotten what he’s wanted. Harsh reality, but if you’re a woman and you have sex on the first date, do not expect a man to call back.

    • Purrfit22

      Well it depends on the two indvivuials if your thinking long term commimentment then pro no dont do it if your just looking for a thrill and both PARTIES are cool with it and know the circumstances go for it! Ive had one night stands and knew i just wanted to f rea k him and thats all I WANTED every MAN you DATE you dont wish to marry just have a good time and see where it goes … People are so serious these days about dating! Keep it all the real sometimes you go out with a guy just cause you bored, lonely, want free date meal or some company it is what it is! Or you could just be H O R * N Y relax people

  • let make him wait a little…especially if the hook-up was online. you gotta get a feel for his personalities and motives.