Is Pledging Worth the Hazing?

February 3rd, 2012 - By Brande Victorian

Freshman year of college I went to an open informational about the black Greek organizations on campus. As I sat listening to girls talk about their various sororities, all I could think was, how am I supposed to get beaten and degraded for 10 weeks all for the sake of calling someone my sister in the end? Granted, these organizations give you national connections and lifelong friendships and other benefits I’m not aware of as an outsider, I felt like there was no group I wanted to be a part of that badly.

Hazing discussions come up every so often when a big story makes the headlines and I often wonder what members of these sororities and fraternities think about what their potential sisters and brothers are going through: have things gotten worse or should pledges just suck it up and prove their loyalty? The latest of these victims is Britteny Starling, a former pledge of the UC Berkeley chapter of Zeta Phi Beta. She’s suing members for allegedly hazing her to the point that she took a medical leave from school, and when you look at a few of the allegations, it’s hard to imagine taking a chance on pledging. She says her “big sisters:”

  •     Beat her and another pledge repeatedly on the head until a third pledge could finish reciting the sorority’s history.
  •     Poured juice on the floor and made her clean it up with her back, then tore off her shirt.
  •     Slammed her face into the wall, making her lip bleed profusely.
  •     Made her stay awake all night.
  •     Forbid her from going to the bathroom, causing her to pee her pants.

Again, as an outsider, I don’t know if that’s extreme behavior or typical of the pledging process, but I can’t help but question is it necessary. Brittney claimed that her sisters had a habit of offering love after pain, saying they “loved the pledges and their actions were intended to make the pledges better people” They also warned that if anyone quit, which Brittney said she planned to do, they would “become ‘eternals.’” According to the lawsuit, “Ms. Starling felt extreme pressure to remain as a pledge in ZPB because she was in fear that if she left the sorority, she would become an outcast, an ‘eternal,’ in the Greek system and the African-American community at UC Berkeley.” Now, she’s seeking punitive damages and money for lost future wages.

Obviously, on campus no one ever spoke about what they went through, but there were always rumors going around of why a certain frat was suspended or what sorts of things were going on. Even more so than the physical torment, I was concerned with why most of the people who had pledged were either in danger of failing or lost a scholarship during the process, and why some had to drop out after they crossed. What good is joining an organization if you forfeit a degree in the process?

Recently, my younger cousin called to ask my opinion on whether she should pledge a sorority or not and I didn’t know what to tell her other than make a decision based on the people in the organization and not the name of it or the popularity it might earn her. I would hate to see her endure treatment like this, but I also wouldn’t want her to miss out on something that might be greater than what it appears to be from the outside. Since I’ve only had female friends who pledged in grad chapters, I asked a male friend if he thought pledging was worth it. He said he didn’t have any regrets but if he had to do it again, knowing what he knows now, he probably wouldn’t have. I’m curious if more people than not feel that way.

If you’re in a sorority, do you think the pledging process was worth it? Did the fear of hazing prevent any of you from joining a sorority? Do you think hazing is necessary?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

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  • OverlyOpinionated

    Pledging is to me all personal decisons. I think ppl should have the choice to decide that they want to belong to something rather u agree or disagree. I see nothing wrong with pleding.There is nothing wrong with joining a organzintion for social purposes WHY HATE! (sorry about the spelling) Me personally I would not join because I would not act right I would not always want to things when I am suppose to nor go through the pledging process so therefor eI KNOW its not for me! But for some ppl this works so basically to each it own! Let her pledge and make her own decisions …

  • Moaartjc

    I have never been nor will allow someone to beat me, drink a concoction of mess or other ridiculous stuff just to join a sorority.  I am a proud member of one of the Divine 9 and I never witnessed nor was subjected to such behavior.  I am a grad advisor and we, I repeat, WE DO NOT TOLERATE HAZING OF ANY SORT!  I am sorry for those who experienced such harsh treatment.  Not all of us promote hazing and I hope everyone start to take a stand and speak up against it.

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  • http://twitter.com/kevinferere Kevin Ferere

    I have a deep hatred for college fraternities/sororities.  When I was in college I even tried to go under the radar and join a “business fraternity”; and to no avail, I inevitably saw what I was becoming and opted out of the pledging process.  The elitism, the arrogance, the Peking orders, the clique-ing.  It’s all repulsive.  And yeah, there are some good things they stand for.  I won’t disregard that.  However, what do you gain other than being affiliated with an educated gang.

  • zion

    As a member of Zeta Phi Beta I truly apologize for what this young lady had to go through but i do not apologize for being apart of this wonderful organization nor was i ever in situation such as hers

  • http://twitter.com/louivuittonquan Bitch You Know Me !

    I’m a High School Student Who Will Be Attending College Next year for the first time. I plan to pledge to a D9. I’m a legacy to a certain Fraternity. I was told by my fellow family members that hazing is actually fun. However, if any was to put their hands me it will be a different story, but other then that, I think hazing is worth doing to join a Greek Org, besides your in it until you die, so I don’t blame the “Big Sister/Big Brother” for doing the haze, It’s to show your willingness, and your dedication to the frat/soro. People never expose the Good. Only The Bad, because if you were to make a list of the good and the bad of pledging to a D9. the good will MOST DEFINITELY out weight the bad!

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  • Exstasy24_7

    First off all this pledging is simply paying for friends/acquaintances. I’m a grown woman and never had the time or needy mentality that is required for sororities. In no uncertain terms they were told that too.  I don’t pay for friends and if you are so low in your self esteem that you pay for ppl to abuse you just so you can call them friends or “sisters” then sorry but you get what you ask for. 

    • ??????

      Why does she get what she asked for.. its a codependent relationship just like dating a no good boyfriend or being a habitual dater. Instead of looking at the act why not try and help the low self esteem person become better where she doesn’t need that to feel like a whole person. Believe it or not low self esteem people indirectly affect you. She maybe the low self esteem person that becomes a greek and your cousin/sister/friend may be on the next line and because she is a Big Sister and she has some control she may take it to far and cause harm to those people. Just a thought grown woman

    • jtotheizzo87

      To Ms. Exstasy24_7, I believe your argument is invalid. I
      don’t understand your correlation between pledging and low self-esteem. Just
      because you want to join a sorority or a fraternity doesn’t mean that you are
      self-hating. There are many positives that come out of joining a Greek Org,
      such as networking, community service, and lifelong bonds; but everyone throws
      those attributes aside and focus on the negatives. I’ve been a member of a D9
      Sorority for 4 years, and the process that I had to go through to join was
      strenuous, but I wouldn’t give it up for anything. The relationships that I
      have formed within my org (along w/ D9 and other Greeks), the leadership skills
      I’ve gained, and my overall dedication to serving my community are invaluable,
      and was worth every minute of whatever I had to do. The experiences of the
      young woman mentioned above are unfortunate, I will admit that, but you can’t
      blame every Greek organization, for a couple bad apples. They took it too far,
      and the girl herself should have had the strength to walk out of a bad
      situation. I’m not saying it’s her fault, but showing up every night is
      basically her willingness to participate. The process’s point is to build
      character, not to take your everyday stress out on the pledges or violate people
      for fun. When people lose sight of that, you get stories like this one in the article.

      • Merriegirl

        A college student can acquire all of the positives you listed with out ever being hazed, mistreated, secluded from their friends, starved, deprived of sleep, or hospitalized. Also some of the “strenuous” things that pledges go through are considered abuse in all other areas of our society. But because of the positives that you listed some students will choose to partake in activities which they would never do under any other circumstance. The complexity of this relationship is similar to an adolescent who joins a street gain. It seems strange to everyone on the outside to watch this person be beaten for acceptance. However he sees it as a small price to pay for protection, a sense of family, networking and lifelong bonds with his fellow gang members. 

        And any time a life is lost during a process of a social activity and alarm should go off in everyone’s mind. The truth is that every year we here of a student dying or being hospitalized due to a pledging process. There could be millions of great people in these organizations but their contributions to society mean nothing to the mother who finds her son dead on her porch after a long night of pledging. 

  • Jbarbjohn

    So although everyone is entitled to thier opinion, you really must consider the expertise/experience of the person giving it. Unless you are Greek, u can not accurately speak on something u know nothing about or haven’t experienced first hand. It like u telling someone a certain food is bad but ur base g this off of what u heard and not because u actually tasted the food. Yes, have an opinion by all means but don’t count it as fact or discredit sonething, or discourage someone else for wanting to try something u have decided u dint like.

    • Jbarbjohn

      *a certain food is bad but u base this decision off of what u heard and not because u actually tasted the food urself.

  • jackieOsassin

    some form of hazing is necessary, but nothing as severe as refusing to let a pledge go to the bathroom or slamming their heads against the wall. that’s taking it too far and abusing the role of a big sister, someone who is supposed to help the pledges through their initiation. how can a trust someone who treats me like crap?

  • IllyPhilly

    I know why they do this type of stuff in the military, but why for a “formal” civilian organization again? Has it gotten worse over the years? The ladies I know didn’t have that issue or maybe they did and juts didn’t say a thing.

  • SimpLeeMyOpinion

    I am gonna be completely honest, Pledging and being apart of a Greek isnt what it use to be, in my opinion. The morals and values the Greeks were founded on are completely being ignored and overshadowed with hazing and your “connection”. Hazing is setting such a terrible foundation in my opinion. Its not worth it and I refuse to be apart of todays image of any Greeks. I have a lot of Greek friends and just like they would help their “brother or sister”, they’re there for me and we help each other out just as much if not more. And the bound isnt as strong as they paint the picture to be from my personal veiw. Yes it maybe fun fun fun but at what cost is your fun?
    Tell your cousin with hard work and a great attitude and positive out look on life, she can make her own connections. I came to Tampa from Miami and my first semester majority of the female Greeks were suspended for hazing. I decided that I didnt want to be apart of anything that can possible harm me or get me suspended or kicked out of school. Just like the Greeks are a choice, so is my education and no Greek should jeopardize that in my opinion. I built my own “connections” on a better foundation in my opinion. I worked at TGH and now for two Baycare Hospital and I got my jobs not because of who I was affiliated with or who I pay dues to, But because of MY own hard work. I am a full time student and I work and I volunteer all the time and I participate in charity walks/runs and I am constantly donating things from clothes to canned good, by my own choice. And by choice I choose to not partake in hazing or any association affiliated with hazing. And I am still doing my own research on if Greeks are even for me.

    And for those of you Greeks who feel us NONGreeks cant have an opinion, you’re funny. You were once a NONGreek with an opinion.  

    • Love_Sexy

      Agree 100%

    • yannii

      “And for those of you Greeks who feel us NONGreeks cant have an opinion, you’re funny. You were once a NONGreek with an opinion.”
      Thank You! 

  • Oneflynatural

    I pledged 6 years ago and I have no regrets, but that’s because my big sisters  were respectful. It was really all about getting to know my line sisters, big sisters, organization operations, in depth history lessons, secrets etc. Don’t get me wrong, there were some hard and challenges times, but no disrespect (I wouldn’t have stood for it anyway).  Some people just go overboard with the power they have over others.  If the bigs were smart they would realize the people who have the REAL power are the pledges, because if they told on you they could ruin your life! 

  • Love_Sexy

    Good article MN….No I do not think its worth it because I never could understand what hazing had to do with teaching about sister/brotherhood and unity……I am sorry but I never understood the logic in it……I know of horror stories regarding this matter and its disturbing…….If something make no sense to me and I do not see the benefits nor logic in it I do not pursue it…….JMO!

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