Madame On the Street: How Do You Let Someone Know You’re Not Interested

February 1st, 2012 - By Veronica Wells

 

The rules and regulations of the dating world can be challenging sometimes. You don’t want to waste your time but you don’t want to hurt anyone else’s feelings either. You have to be firm without being cruel. When someone is sweating you but you’re definitely not feeling him or her, how do you let them know? We asked a few New Yorkers this question, here’s what they had to say.

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  • ch

    Um..I just say “I’m not interested”
    I don’t lie or mislead people and that works fine.

  • Jimmyc

    I can’t help but think that this was done as a practical joke (on the people that were interviewed)
    One of the ladies near the end, gave the most honest answer when she said, “..it never happened to me…I don’t know”. Her honesty was attractive to me. 

  • http://blackonpurpose.blogspot.com/ gryph

    is it wrong of me to suggest that few of the people in this video could afford to turn down any potential suitors? wrong. yes? 

    sorry. my bad. 

  • SayCheese

    No offence but all the people they interviewed seem to be below average looking. I highly doubt they had the chance to tell anyone no. They look like more then likely someone told them no. 

  • lisa

    i work in a male dominated depart (IT) and i have been hit on my every single guy in the section, i walk by and my ass becomes the topic at that very moment. i recently came to learn that there was an ongoing ‘bet’ as to which one of them would bed me first.

  • FromUR2UB

    I don’t think there’s a way to say it that the person would be glad to hear.  You just have to be honest without tearing them down.   I like the response from the woman who said, “I don’t think I’d be right for you”, because who can argue with that?  That’s a good thing to say face to face.  Otherwise, you can ignore them, and they’d get the point eventually. 

  • LaLaLaMeansILoveYou

    Always go with ol’ faithful….”I’m seeing someone” or “I have a boyfriend”. Just a lil’ bitty white/black lie, and no one gets hurt or offended. Used to work for me every time.

    • FromUR2UB

      Unless that turns them on. (haha!)

      • LaLaLaMeansILoveYou

         I know right…I guess I shouldn’t have said that it worked EVERY time because sometimes saying that would only make them go even harder…more like 80% of the time :)

  • http://twitter.com/AdrienneInLove Age

    Most of the time it all depends on how they approach you. When they don’t have any manners or respect, you can just ignore it. If they were courteous about it then, it’s harder. Some people take “no” as “try harder”

  • http://soundcloud.com/kottikadotti Kotti ︻╦╤─ KaDotti ™ ©

    I WISH A CHICK WOULD TELL SHE NOT INTERESTED, I WILL STALK THE HELL OUT OF HER!

  • http://soundcloud.com/kottikadotti Kotti ︻╦╤─ KaDotti ™ ©

    I WISH A CHICK WOULD TELL SHE NOT INTERESTED, I WILL STALK THE HELL OUT OF HER!

  • DeepThinker

    I think it is easy for mature women to be upfront and not mislead a guy, but it seems to be hard for most guys to do the same. I wonder is it because guys have a harder time disappointing women. Some of my guy friends would rather avoid the woman, not return her calls, etc.. than to just tell her they are not interested. It’s really pathetic when they have slept with the woman.
    Also, some people don’t take the truth seriously, they think if they keep being persistant, you’ll change your mind which can be annoying too.
    If you are honest about your feelings it can save people alot a time and heartbreak. I wish the interviewr would have asked a man’s perspective on this.

  • Guest

    I’m dealing with this right now, I work with this guy that has liked me since I got hired at my job(he was engaged when I met him), but they broke up and after that he asked me out or asked for my number every day…I became attracted to his friend(who we also work with) and I told him thinking that he would get the hint and go away…it didn’t work, he kept trying and when I brought it to his attention he claimed he forgot, so I reminded him again and told him I only saw the 2 of us as friends, he let it go for a while but now he’s trying again, he even tried to set me up and say that all my coworkers were going out after work and asked me did I want to go, I asked them were they going and they said they never knew about it…I’ve tried ignoring him, but it’s kind of hard since we work so close together in the same department, I’ve run out of options smh.

    • Rachelatlarge2003

      Omg I have been through a similar situation. Not even  three days after getting hired my co-worker some what leached on to me. He stopped by my cubicle one day to introduce himself and every  since  then he stops by my desk everyday to chat. In the begining it was flattering then it was like ohhh ok now your creeping me out. Clearly he likes me but I don’t lead him on, I try to keep it strictly business. But, every now and then he’ll bring up a story about his SEXcapades and its quite annoying. To make a long story short he doesn’t work here any more THANK GOD because he was starting to get wayyyyy out of hand!!!

    • FromUR2UB

      That’s sexual harrassment.  Many workplaces require their employees to go through annual training for that.  If that’s the case with your employer, then sweetly tell him that you’re beginning to feel sexually harrassed, and then remind him that he could end up in a lot a trouble by not letting it go.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_UHHSZUEU5KTJD5UJWRF42CB3BA Vee

    I usually just casually say it in conversation. Most people if there interested, will ask you your status or about your past relationships. Thats when its best to establish parameters and say your just focusing on your career or your talking to someone right now to keep them away or if that doesn’t work, honesty is always the best policy.

  • MOT

    LOL

  • http://www.facebook.com/regina.woodruff Regina Woodruff

    I flat out told a guy “I dont like you. You ‘re awkward, creepy and weird. I’m not interested. Please dont contact me again”….he has texted me EVERY SINGLE DAY since then…..#stalker

    • FromUR2UB

      I get the feeling he had been obnoxiously persistent up to the point you said what you said.  There was no other way to put it, and even then, he didn’t get it.

  • Peterpan

    If it’s someone you know…be honest and nice and tell them why it wont work.  But if it’s because you find them physically unattractive, come up with a lie.  I wouldnt tell someone I dont find them attractive.  If you dont know the person ( a stranger at bar, restaurant…) I would say no thanks.

  • Txmsladytx

    Say “no thanks, I don’t think we’d be good together”, and keep it moving. Don’t waste a lot of time trying to find the “right/perfect” words. Just be honest.

  • F3ral Anarchy

    being 6’4 and about 220 lbs….i just look the woman in the eye and say no thanks…..and walk off

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