Dating Advice Not To Take
They mean well. Your parents. Your friends. Your favorite bloggers. But, there is just some advice that comes with a larger con than pro. Like these:
Wait to sleep with him
I’m not saying jump into bed with a guy on the first date, or even the fifth date. However, some girls follow rules like waiting three months to sleep with a man, even when they are dating exclusively. But, look at it this way: it would be a major bummer to become extremely attached to this man only to discover that you are so sexually not compatible.
Some people believe in “spacing things out.” They will say you’re nuts if you hang out with a new guy two nights in a row. But, if you both feel like seeing each other two nights in a row, that’s a great thing! If the attraction is there, it’s there. And it’s not going to die because you hang out too much, too soon. Also, let’s face it: if you force yourself to be apart for a few days at a time, you’re just going to text and call each other throughout those days anyways.
Play it cool
Don’t shamelessly chase a guy, but don’t not respond to sweet texts he sends you. Don’t tell him you’re “busy” and can’t go out with him just to make him miss you when in reality, you’re totally free that night. Usually, this just backfires and he thinks you’re not into him. Look: if he put it out there—the cute text, the dinner invite—it’s safe to reciprocate. You won’t come off as desperate.
Don’t get too personal
Everybody’s got issues. Everyone has some drama in their family, something traumatic that happened to them as a child, or even a more immediate problem happening right now. But, talking about those issues doesn’t make you crazy. It’s how you talk about them that makes you crazy or not. If you have a handle on a situation—say some drama in your family—and you’re able to make fun of the situation, feel free to bring it up on the date! You don’t need to stay away from all “taboo” subjects. It’s only if you are still emotional or noticeably angry about certain situations that you shouldn’t bring those up.
Don’t drink on a first date
Why are you told this? Because you’re not supposed to let your guard down. You’re not supposed to share super intimate, possibly weird things about yourself. You’re not supposed to let your quirks show. Well, guess what: if it just takes a drink or two to make those things come out, they were going to come out anyways. Staying 100% sober on a date is for people who have no self-control, sober or not sober. If you have self-control, have a drink or two. It will help you open and loosen up. But if you’re nuts, you’re nuts, and staying sober isn’t going to change that.
Don’t let people scare you just because a guy takes three or four days to call you again for a date by saying, “Oooh, that’s a long time! Don’t say yes to a second date.” Some people are just busy. Some guys can only focus on one thing at a time, and if their work week got crazy, they aren’t going to even think of anything social until that crazy week is over. More than a week of no calls is a bad sign. But a few days without a text or a call is no big deal in the beginning stages of dating.
If he doesn’t make a move, he doesn’t like you
Some guys are just respectful. Give them the go-ahead—kiss them first, make the first sexual advance—and they’ll never require another little push again. They will take the lead from there. But some men really want to be respectful of women—they never want them to feel forced into something—so they wait until the last possible second to make a move. They need a lot of reassurance to make that first move. So, either make it for them or wait.
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