Naw I’m Good: Why I Won’t be Hitting the Strip Club Anytime Soon

January 31st, 2012 - By Veronica Wells

Anyone who knows me, knows that I have a high appreciation for the female form. Seriously, I’m a boob woman. They’re soft, life sustaining and nurturing. I’ve even been known to rub my own in public places, at inappropriate times. I could go on and on about boobs, they’re the greatest.

In general, the female form is something to be admired. But admiring from a distance is as far as I think I can go. As much as I love boobs, the thought of another woman’s breasts touching me literally repulses me. Have you ever had a woman’s boobs accidentally graze your arm or has a woman ever hugged you too hard, forcing her boobs into your own chest? I can’t speak for anyone else but the sensation makes my skin crawl.

Why am I telling you all this?

Recently, I linked to a post from our partners at Your Tango, asking whether or not you’d be pissed if your man went to the strip club and didn’t tell you what went down while he was there. Surprisingly, when we posted the question on Facebook and Twitter, a lot of you mentioned the fact that you would have no problem whatsoever and would probably join the boo at the strip club, some of you even mentioned getting a lap dance of your own.

Hmm…I can’t say that I was surprised. Ya’ll have said freakier things. ;) But I just couldn’t get with you all on that one. Call me prudish or puritanical or whatever you like, but it never occurred to me to go into a strip club for enjoyment or even pleasure. Sure, I’m heterosexual, but even that is not enough reason not to go. Plenty of hetero women hit female strip clubs all the time.

A friend and I recently asked our co-worker what she thought about the subject and she said women can do some amazing things on those poles and move their butt cheeks in downright acrobatic motions. Tis true and they are to be commended, but I can catch the pole work in a number of pole dancing classes and a booty clap certainly isn’t hard to come by, even after the days of BET’s Uncut. Being the germaphobe that I am, I’d probably watch the whole spectacle wondering how a woman could so comfortably grasp an object her co-worker had just held between her open a** cheeks?  I just don’t understand why I would ever have a reason to venture into a female strip club…or really any strip club for that matter.

Years ago, I attended a bachelorette party with a male stripper. I knew there was going to be a stripper and he was going to be my first one, so I was excited. Unfortunately, the man that entered the room was none too attractive and by the end of his routine, I couldn’t help but think he was desperate and pathetic. Something about flaccid wang flopping in my face, did anything but arouse me.

Maybe the wack stripper ruined me for all strippers, male and female alike. Or maybe, and I think this reason is far more plausible, something about the human form being overtly broadcast as a sexual object elicits disgust instead of arousal from me. Something about a stripper, male or female, seems so forced and unnatural in comparison to the way real life sexual encounters go down. When you think about it, even pornos try to create some semblance of normality, though they often fail.

At the end of the day, for me it’s the little things that I find sexually appealing. Anything too in my face, even a pair of perfectly crafted, supple breasts, is just cheap.

 

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  • jackieOsassin

    if my boyfriend went to a strip club and i didn’t know about it, i’d put my massive collection of knives to good use.

    i don’t mind him looking at other women, but NOT when those women are half-naked trollops (not ALL of them, but a majority; the trollop part, not the half-naked part) who are after his wallet by way of their massive as*es. i’ve bartended in a strip joint before i’ve seen all the thigh-squeezes and boob-tickling and the “please, daddy one more dance”‘s going on; i can’t deal with that knowing the man of my life is participating in that with or without me. call me old fashioned, but if my man wants to see a half-naked woman making her butt clap with no hands on a pole, i’ll do it for him myself.

    say it two times.

    • Pivyque

      I guess it depends on the kind of strip club you go to. I was a bartender at one as well and the men were not allowed to touch the women. Security was very strict about that. Now, if they paid enough to go into the private section, I don’t know what happened because the curtains were closed, but out on the main floor where the stage was, there was no touching allowed.

  • Sugar_Spice

    I don’t mind if my husband goes to a strip club.  I even went to a female strip club once, I didn’t get a lap dance but thought it was entertaining. Some may call it degrading while others feel it’s liberating,  I just feel like you shouldn’t judge.

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  • Redvelvet321

    Male strips clubs are cool for a girl’s night out, maybe once a year. At the same time male strippers are funny to me. Just seeing a man shaking it for dollaz like he’s a B%#^h is not something I take seriously. i think men probably get more into the female strippers. Also, why are so many women going to female strip clubs and getting lap dances? You could not pay a STRAIGHT man to go see somebody d(*k slangin’. 

  • Msmykimoto2u

    I find strip clubs sort of fascinating and fun for girls night out (no men allowed) Would I ever it do it? 9 times out of 10, probably not.

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  • Amija

    As a woman there are still certain places I don’t need to go.  A strip club is degrading to women no matter what anyone says.  

    • ManOrWoman

      It’s degrading to which woman?  That’s an individual feeling, not a fact. 

      • Pivyque

        Exactly. Some women love it.

        • jackieOsassin

          wrong. some women love the money. when have you ever heard a stripper placing a strip club in line with her 5-yr plan?

          whenever many of them make enough money to do whatever it is they need to do with it (new car, new house, pay off loans) they’re deuced out until they need to re-up again.

          i’ve seen this personally.

          • Pivyque

            Just because you have “seen it personally” and strippers love the money, does not mean that some women don’t love it. Every woman is different. Some women love it (as I stated) and some women love the money (as you stated). When I was younger, a friend of mine would go to amateur night at the strip club, because she loved the feeling of the crowd wanting her. It gave her a rush. No, she didn’t make a profession out of it, but she loved to do it once a week. The only reason she stopped is because she met her husband and settled down. So, you can’t say that no woman loves to strip because I know some do…I have seen it personally. :-)

  • Asix

    I understand your point, however can’t help but balk at the intense judeo-christian, white-male patriarchal philosophies that seem to rain on your sexually liberated woman of color self. Why is it cheap? Because if you’ve ever attended a strip club it is anything but cheap. 
    You do sound prudish and constrained. This is one of those mn articles I read while rolling my eyes thinking “oh god, no, more black women that think THAT way” While you say you don’t judge, I hear it all over this post and hope you can gain a sense of the ownership and liberation women who strip/pole dance are all to aware of at times yet never acknowledged.

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003085266535 Courtney Small

    hey you can always buy a pole install it in your home, and twerk for your husband, you both get what you want, you are happy he isn’t seeing other woman, and no syphillis will be transmitted, and he gets to see his wife drop it low.

  • vwells1

    Jonna,

    I think that’s a good question and I can’t say I’ve drawn the line perfectly; but in my opinion, the evening eye candy pictures are pretty tasteful. I think an image, even if it’s overt and moving (like porn) is not as obtrusive and therefore unattractive to me as someone in my face trying to make me look and lust after their body. Does that make sense?