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“Girl On Top” is a weekly sex column on Madame Noire. Stay tuned for more topics, comment or write us at editors@madamenoire.com if you have suggestions!

The number one sex complaint I hear from my homeboys is in regards to “starfish syndrome”: when a lady lays in the cut all sprawled out and lets a man do all the work. The biggest complaint from the women folk? Bad stroke.

These are both very treatable ailments…but you have to be willing to do the work.

When I was relatively new to having sex, my greatest bedroom deficiency was that I sucked at Getting Her Jaws Worked (pun intended). Of course time, experience and listening to my partner helped. But I also purchased a couple of books on the subject. I watched Adult Videos, asked my friends about their moves. Some stuff comes naturally, other parts of my repertoire required a little external help. The benefactors involved (including myself, most naturally) have appreciated my efforts and I only wish that I could say that my work was always matched.
I treat sex like any other skill I want to be highly qualified to perform. In fact, a girlfriend and I are planning to attend a class on Getting Her Jaws Worked this weekend. Couldn’t hurt to have a few more tricks in the bag, right? Of course you guys will be the first to know what I learn. Well, first or second. 😉
To be fair though, I think more people would be willing to do the work if they knew what they were lacking. For all the complaints I hear about sex from both men and women, I don’t get the impression that the lousy lays in question are being told that they need to shape up in the sack. It might not be the easiest thing to mention to someone, but I’d wager that letting a sister know that her ‘starfish’ stance isn’t cutting it might be good for your sexual karma.
Would you go through the trouble of taking a class or do you feel like experience is the only teacher that counts? How have you improved your sex game from when you first got started?
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