Chile, Please: 8 Signs YOU’RE Not a “Grown A** Woman”
Now that it has been fully established by yours truly what doesn’t make a guy a “grown a** man,” I think it’s time we put the shoe on the other foot–or make that the stiletto on the other foot. I told you guys yesterday that I was going to give a backhanded shout out to the women I’ve seen out on the streets claiming to be grown but behaving less like their age and more like their shoe size (Heeey Prince!). We all have our less than pristine days where we come back in the house knowing we acted a fool, but if that’s your everyday, then this list was written for you, boo boo.
You’re Still Trying to Fight Folks
Who doesn’t go somewhere from time to time, have a run in with an immature chick and want to backhand them for talking and looking at you crazy? Been there, but I haven’t done that. Just because someone tests your nerves or is feeling froggy doesn’t mean you have to always be ready to jump. And don’t try and bring your girls into the messy mix when things go bad, because your drama, especially the kind that involves reckless violence, should involve and be handled by you and no one else. However, if someone makes the dumb decision to put their hands on you for no reason…well, a “lady” has to do what she’s got to do. But otherwise, be the bigger person and walk away from foolishness and a black eye that can be avoided.
You Keep Going for the SAME Kind of No-Good Dude
It’s crazy how folks don’t want to listen to the people who have their best interests at heart when it comes to no-good men, but they want you to listen to them when they come around crying all the damn time about him. And while you might think it’s cute to go on your Facebook rants about how “You ‘aint worried about him,” and that “I”M DOING ME!” you find yourself back with that fool, or a guy that’s his prototype: he doesn’t treat you right, he’s low-key cheating–he’s pretty much the guy from our NOT a “grown a** man” list. If you keep falling for the same kind of guy or the same kind of foolishness, then you’re no longer falling, but you’re voluntarily walking into a disaster. Do better.
Your Temper is on Level 100
So somebody stepped on your foot on accident, or took the seat you wanted on the train. Sucks right? You can be a bit pissy about it, but if you go on psycho mode immediately and have a response that’s filled with rage and foolishness, it’s clear you’re a big ‘ol crybaby having a temper tantrum. Like the woman with a stroller who had a seat taken from her that she wanted and decided to curse and pepper spray said seat-taker (then fought while the stroller rolled OUT of the train) this type of lady gets bent out of shape over the most inconsequential stuff and can end up messing up everybody’s day. Get a grip, some anger management and grow up already. Life’s going to get hard, but there’s no need to have a Mo’Nique in Precious type of response to everything.
You Spend Money On Things You Don’t Need and Wonder Why You’re Broke
I know this chick can’t wait to get her income tax return. She’s going to lose her ever-loving mind. The reckless spender buys a new pair of shoes or a bag just because, but puts it on the credit card that’s almost at it’s max while making minimum payments every month. We all want to ball until we fall, but not everyone has it like that. Start jazzing up what’s in your closet and doing your own personal maintenance and stop looking for an excuse to buy a new dress, the most expensive hair, to get your nails done every other week and to cop knockoff designer bags from the dude ripping you off on Canal Street. Treat yourself occasionally dear, not daily.
You Drop Your Kids Off With Other People Regularly
I think I’ve noted this in a story or two before, but it never hurts to break it down further. While there are a great deal of women out there who skip the clubs and all the big fun to stay in and be with their kiddies, there are too many people who don’t. Just because you had a child doesn’t automatically make you grown, especially when your mother, your sister, your aunt and everyone but you is seeing them, feeding them and more. And please don’t be one of those women that passes your child to other people on the regular so you can go everywhere but to work, but because you’re not getting along with the child’s father, he’s the one person not allowed to see the kid. That’s not cool and that’s not grown up behavior.
You’re Still Getting Caught Up in the Group or Mob Mentality
If you’re out of college by now and still can’t seem to think for yourself, you’re not a grown a** woman. You can’t be. Not with that crew of obnoxiously loud chicks on the train cackling about the guy you dissed yesterday in surround sound. This also goes for the gal that gets with her friends and talks dirty about people she doesn’t know because that’s what her girlfriends are doing: “Girl, look at her hair!” If you were still in high school trying to get to third period before the bell sounded it might be understandable, but you’re too grown to be disrupting peace and quiet and then saying, “Girl, I don’t care!” Mature. Real mature.
You Deal With Things in a Passive Aggressive Manner
It’s okay to be mad about something and to let your feelings be known in a calm manner. By all means girl, go ahead. But the problem is when you express your feelings about something that happened so long ago, you can barely remember the details–and neither can the person you’re peeved at. You got beef? It’s always the best idea to let someone know immediately that they hurt your feelings or did you wrong. Wait too long to open your mouth about it and you come off petty, and sadly, you probably won’t get any sympathy for that ish that happened like five years ago.
Your Focus When It Comes to Dating Is Based Around What Someone Else Has
If someone asks this chick what she’s looking for in a man, money seems to be the root of all her answers. He needs to have this, she needs to be well taken care of of, blah, blah, blah. Money is great, but if you’re quick to diss or won’t date a guy who can’t take baths in money because he had to pay bills and is trying to make it just like you, then that’s a mess. You should want a man who is financially stable or at least on his way to being that way, but does he really have to be rolling in cash for you to give a guy the time of day? We are all entitled to our preferences, but if a man’s shoes send the “broke” signal to your brain and you diss him immediately–that’s not fair. Get your own money, honey!
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