Chile, Please: 8 Signs YOU’RE Not a “Grown A** Woman”

49 Comments
January 27, 2012 ‐ By IndigoBlack

Now that it has been fully established by yours truly what doesn’t make a guy a “grown a** man,” I think it’s time we put the shoe on the other foot–or make that the stiletto on the other foot. I told you guys yesterday that I was going to give a backhanded shout out to the women I’ve seen out on the streets claiming to be grown but behaving less like their age and more like their shoe size (Heeey Prince!). We all have our less than pristine days where we come back in the house knowing we acted a fool, but if that’s your everyday, then this list was written for you, boo boo.

You’re Still Trying to Fight Folks

Who doesn’t go somewhere from time to time, have a run in with an immature chick and want to backhand them for talking and looking at you crazy? Been there, but I haven’t done that. Just because someone tests your nerves or is feeling froggy doesn’t mean you have to always be ready to jump. And don’t try and bring your girls into the messy mix when things go bad, because your drama, especially the kind that involves reckless violence, should involve and be handled by you and no one else. However, if someone makes the dumb decision to put their hands on you for no reason…well, a “lady” has to do what she’s got to do. But otherwise, be the bigger person and walk away from foolishness and a black eye that can be avoided.

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  • CF Sista

    Sad that I have to write this, but my co-workers are women who are in their 40s, 50s, and even 60s and almost all of them act like little girls in high school. Gossiping, talking about other co-workers, and doing things that could get them fired. I have one co-worker who doesn’t even know me (I just started working there a few months ago), and she ignores me like I don’t exist, but she will speak to everyone else around us. I said “Good morning” to her one time when I was coming into work, and it was just me and she in the office. She turned around and gave me the nastiest look, as if to say, “I know you didn’t just fix your mouth to speak to me!” Something is obviously off with her. How can you hate and/or disrespect someone you don’t even know and has never done anything to you? I say nothing to her. I just shake my head and press on. It’s scary that I sometimes feel like I’m one of the most mature people who work in my office. Again, not all of the women act like that, but about 95% of them do!

  • Dsmoove

    The percentages of people being grown is so low cause of the type of society we live in (Capitalistic) i.e. C.R.E.A.M cash rules ya dig.  This compromises general growth mentally.  Things we place value in are skewed toward not growing up Peter Pan syndrome.  Until this sentiment change you will always be able to write these type of articles.  

  • TT

    lol funny all the non–bbw’s and reality show harlots are not grown then

  • Pingback: CHILE, PLEASE: 8 SIGNS YOU’RE NOT A “GROWN A** WOMAN” | ZHipHopCleveland.com - Z 107.9 Cleveland's Home for Hip-Hop()

  • http://twitter.com/ImMissTavii ____*Live&LetDie!

    The second one I don’t agree with. Maybe some women just don’t do well in that area. Doesn’t mean you are not grown.  #3 They need anger management wow. #4 sounds like you just need addiction counseling.

  • Teefah

    sounds entirely like the casts of the real housewives, basketball wives franchises.

    http://www.that1960chick.com

  • TheJuggernautLD

    Yes, he MUST have more money than I know what to do with. I have been the hopeless romantic thinking that “we can grow together” as have some of you. WRONG, if you are going to entertain a relationship with someone you have to be willing to accept them the way they are at that moment and not hold your breath waiting to see if they’d change. . Bottom line is it”s smarter to align yourself with people that can provide the tools you need to succeed rather than attach yourself to someone who cant help you fulfill your true potential. Call me what you want, just make sure you call me : )    

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=8633338 Jessica Pharm

    This applies to my sister expect all the dudes she deals with a lame, bummy, fools. 

  • Pingback: Chile, Please: 8 Signs YOU’RE Not a “Grown A** Woman” | ZHipHopCleveland.com - Z 107.9 Cleveland's Home for Hip-Hop()

  • JACKIE

    WOW…IS THAT TRUE ABOUT THE SIBLINGS…MAKE CELEBRITY MORE HUMAN

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Kitty-Barfola/100000927192773 Kitty Barfola

    I like the last one, #8.  Finally it’s calling out women that they’re not grown a** women when money is the root just get to talk to them.  For those who disagree, how is that working for you so far?  Guaranteed, that women have rejected off the bat some real good men because they don’t live up to these women’s standards (money).  Serves them right.

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/KATQCA4OYYZVSEJTJJO5FS7F3M Leta

    mý clássmáte’s sister-in-láw mákes $87/höür ön the internet. She hás been withöüt á jöb för 10 mönths büt lást mönth her check wás $8916 jüst wörking ön the internet för á few höürs. Reád möre ön this web site… lázycásh10.cöm

  • Pingback: You Are NOT a “Grown A** Woman” « Relationship Voice()

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  • Goddess8281

    On point

  • Anon

    I’m calling myself out, #7 is all me.

    • Anon

      But is someone hurt me years ago, and i never said anything and still hold that grudge, and/or feel that they’ll do it again, I’ve learned that it’s best remove them out of your life. Make it clear that they aren’t welcomed. But if/when they ask why, that gives you the opportunity to inform them, whether they think you should have gotten over it or not, they know now. Let’s move on – get away from me.

  • MixedUpInVegas

    Some of these things go beyond being “grown.”  They have more to do with commonly recognized civilized behavior.  Getting into physical altercations, particularly in public, is a criminal act and can land you in jail and/or get you sued.  Acting crazy in a public place can land you in the state mental hospital–worse than jail because then only a judge can let you out.

    Aside from looking like a fool or a lunatic, some of these behaviors have real, expensive and lasting consequences; you can lose your job, your kids, a lot of your money or your freedom.  Anyone who doesn’t recognize these consequences in advance isn’t just not “grown;” they are not fully connected to reality.

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  • FromUR2UB

    I sure wish you could give someone a black eye every once in a while.  There are some folks who make me want to pound them in the face sometimes.  Just yesterday, I envisioned myself punching a co-worker in her face with the heel of my hand.  Mmmmmwwwwwahahahahaha!!

  • Precious

    I deal with things in a passive aggressive manner, and I
    do so because I don’t like confrontation so I just let things slide. But sadly
    I’ve learned that if someone offends you once, it’s likely to happen again and against
    so I’ve learned not to tolerate foolishness and shut people out at the first
    sign of it! Then I bump into them some time later and they ask me why, then I always
    appear passive aggressive but I’ve become ok with that! I spend money on things
    I don’t need and wonder why I’m broke because I have no kids!

    • Girliusmaximus

       At least you’re honest about it…

  • Lyndon

    Drop their kids off with random ppl… Wow. I’ve known many single mothers that did this. And don’t try to tell em any different b/c they know better. This type of negligence sends the wrong message to kids and can lead to your child being in the wrong “man’s” hands. Call it judging, whatever, the stakes are too high and the consequences too severe not to speak up.

  • Nees

    By these standards no one will ever be grown, so I’ll have to disagree because everyone slips up, if you’ve done wrong and can admit your mistakes that’s grown.

  • JustAshley

    I guess I’m grown then because I don’t indulge in this kind of nonsense and I don’t deal with people who do. I would think that after a certain age, people would get a grip and grow up but yeah….I’ve seen this behaviour in many women on a regular basis. Its really frustrating when its in your family. 

  • bre

    I hate broke men…..therefore, I keep it moving…..i hate having to pay eveything. Men, especially blk men always wanting someone to take care of their stanky azz….then wanna talk ish on the side….ima grown azz women and aint never messing wit no broke man.

    • freebee33

      Relevance? lol Fyi, a grown woman, does not have to say that they are a grown woman…

      • NicciNic

        Truth if I ever heard it.

  • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elle-Bee/100001726271675 Elle Bee

    I run a website and I’m a journalist and my site isn’t doing that great, but this one is and it pisses me off because in this post I saw a mistake. A BIG one. Passive aggressive doesn’t mean waiting to express your anger later way after it happened, it means something is bothering you and you are letting it slide in that moment whether it be with sliight sarcasm, the silent treatment, ignoring phone calls. stuff like that. Now, if you choose to do nothing at all then that’s just being passive. And these are the people who get the chance to host successful blogs. I guess I am being a bit of a hater, but whateve’s lol 

    • Nik

      I was wondering if someone was going to catch that. I was thinking that is NOT the definition of passive agressive!

      • iri

        it wasn’t the definition of passive aggressive, but it was describing something that happens as a result of past passive aggressive behavior…

    • freebee33

      I had to skip over that page, because it obviously didn’t make any sense lol good catch

    • MNEditor2

      You had me scared for a second the way you said “BIG.” I think we can agree to disagree because there are different ways you can look at passive aggressiveness. I think I always looked at being passive aggressive as yes, you have a problem, but you don’t say anything about it. Yes, you might pretend everything is all good, then, like you said, you might start calling less, you might just act funny in general. It can also be shown in writing a note to someone or telling someone else how you feel instead of talking, as well as being defiant. It’s just about not being direct and clear about your issue when you’re clearly mad. However, the example I used details the end result of all that passive aggressiveness. She’s confronted about what her problem is and then brings up the oldest of the old stuff (because she kept it inside), and when they finally say something about it, they’re playing the victim. I don’t think that’s a big mistake, I just think it’s a difference in opinion.
      To each their own though, and good luck to you with your blog. You don’t have to diss us, feel free to link to it. That might help.

      • http://www.facebook.com/people/Elle-Bee/100001726271675 Elle Bee

        Oh I see. It wasn’t really clear in the post. And I wasn’t dissin’ you guys. I love this blog :)

  • Sophia

    I agree with them all except the last one because it comes down to preference just like guys will only date women who look ‘good’, women in general want someone who can take care of them financially even if she has her own or else the man can begin to feel ‘emasculated’ and the woman may start to feel like the boss

  • RedButterfly81

    OMG, this list is so true, even though I’ve been guilty of 2 things on here (#4 and #2). But know I’m a mom now and I have to be a better role model for my daughter. I let the club life go before I got pregnant, I hate it when other females are being stank acting and loud as if that’s the definition of a strong woman when really it’s not. I might have bipolar, but I know how to conduct myself in public.

  • Qrobinson

    So true… so so true

  • Reeesyy

    This is so true,I know alot of “girls” who act like this and this type of behavior is why I have a very very small circle of girlfriends.

    • http://twitter.com/HighSadiddy1 Tricia Clark

      So true, the older you get, the less friends you have.

  • IllyPhilly

    Sounds like the whole cast of Love and Hip Hop, half the ladies in hoods and burbs across the country, and at least 25 books including Waiting To Exhale. As I’ve said before nobody’s grown!!

    • tastythoughts

      lol

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      LOL I was about to type that same thing…its so true!

    • Mstiffany88

      Lol I agree, there are too many women claiming to be “grown” but behaive like children. I really like the last point. Any woman who only dates a man because of his financial status is admitting without saying it that she isn’t responsible enough to take care of herself. Good job to the author of this one.

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