Oprah: If Stedman and I Had Gotten Married We’d be Divorced by Now

January 26, 2012  |  


I guess Oprah’s bought into the whole marriage leads to divorce spiel—not that we didn’t kinda already know that. But people are still curious why, after being together for 26 years, she and Stedman haven’t made it official, and she told an audience during a filming of “Oprah’s Next Chapter” at the Jaipur Literature Festival in India that not marrying Stedman has been for the best.

“I think that had we gotten married we probably would have been divorced by now. And he would agree. I really am my own woman and I don’t really conform very well to other people ideas about who and what I should be and being married calls for some conformity.”

If there were any man who could take Oprah’s hand in marriage, she says it would be Stedman, but as things would have it, she says she simply isn’t the marrying kind.

I would think after 26 years together she’d still have to do some bending and compromising to make their relationship work, but maybe the freedom of knowing you can walk away when you want to without and legal or financial hassle at the end of the day keeps the peace. Still I wonder what all she thinks would be different if they had rings on their fingers.

What do you think about Oprah’s idea of what makes someone the marrying kind? Do you think you are or are you more like Oprah?

Brande Victorian is a blogger and culture writer in New York City. Follower her on Twitter at @be_vic.

More on Madame Noire!

Trending on MadameNoire

View Comments
Comment Disclaimer: Comments that contain profane or derogatory language, video links or exceed 200 words will require approval by a moderator before appearing in the comment section. XOXO-MN
  • Sophia

    I would love to be married! It’s no hidden fact that marriages are not the easiest but it is worth a fight. I think that once you have found the one and you’re married then both sides need to keep their spouse a priority on their list! I respect Oprah for not being the type to jump in and out of marriages, I’m just not so sure if she (nor Steadman) are really believing that they are better off as a longtime dating couple. They have been together for 26 years (dating) so what would be the real difference if the got married. Besides the legal change, the relationship should improve not lead to divorce. In my opinion, marriages force you to confront and put in real effort to make things work and address any issues that are in your way. When you’re married, you can’t just leave and ignore the problem, you have to face it and I think that for alot of people, they either don’t want to face their problems or they don’t put forth the effort to fix it.

  • oprahdontknoweverything

    1. God ordained marriage. His word states that a man whom findeth a wife findith a good thing.
    2. Oprah’s opinion does not trump the word of God and what He said was Good!
    3. Lack of marriage is killing the black community, especially the kids.
    4. Oprah won’t marry Stedman because everybody knows that she wants to marry Gayle!

  • Pingback: Third World Press Fundraising Program | Whose Fault Is the ‘Cultural Divide’?()

  • Pingback: Whose Fault Is the ‘Cultural Divide’? | In His Image()

  • Pingback: Oprah: If Stedman and I Had Gotten Married We’d be Divorcahed by Now | ZHipHopCleveland.com - Z 107.9 Cleveland's Home for Hip-Hop()

  • FromUR2UB

    Oh…they were still together??

  • TVAL

    I do not think Oprah is advertising the strong black woman gibberish. I think what she meant by “conform” is that she is not willing to slow down her endeavors and business because of marriage or a relationship. Marriage is not for everyone, and  not everyone is going to find their mate.  

  • Well more power to her. If she doesn’t want to get married why should she? at least she’s smart enough to not buy into the whole marriage is the end all and be all of all relationships. Marriage isn’t for everyone. For some people it’s important and for others its not. 

  • icanbutiwont

    Once again Oprah is subliminally advertising this strong black woman gibberish which does nothing but give a false sense of strength to women in difficult situations such as single mothers and educated professionals who can’t find a mate. The thing is these women worship Oprah, but her advocating this strong single woman behavior is not healthy especially in the “black community” which desperately needs reform and rethinking in the area of family and togetherness.

  • IllyPhilly

    Marriage is only important in the eyes of the law. Ask Kobe.

    • colliz6


  • Liish

    For some people having a ring completely changes the dynamic, for others it is just adding a title to what’s there. No marriage isn’t for everybody, but its what you make it. No one can tell you the rules of your marriage. Personally, I am a proponent of marriage. Being with someone for decades with no commitment wouldn’t sit well with me. But to each its own.

  • i applaud her honesty cause folks have been tryin to marry them for YEARS!

  • Nphatnat

    in her situation i think it would be for the best. she would have wayy too much to lose or would have to share with someone, when she built it on her own! And if she can say they would of been divorced by now if they got married, says alot, without saying alot(if you know what i mean)! So i would agree with her for her situation! but def not myself. i dont have an empire to lose! Keep doin you OPRAH

  • Mumbojumbo

    I dont know…i believe in that good old fashion married thing. you go into it and you stick it out, good or bad you stick it out. I dont know though…maybe i am in la la land, I wonder though, do they live together, under the same roof? I cant see myself (speaking for myself here) living with someone for a better part of 26 years and not getting a ring on it.

    • Liish


  • Prissy

    If she likes it.. I LOVE it. Clearly it’s not THAT serious to be married. LOVE Oprah. 

    • Blackinthehat

      Wow you talk as if she’s your god or something.

      • Prissy

        i like it and i LOVE  it!