Traits of Trifling Parents

January 25th, 2012 - By Toya Sharee

 

Imagine almost losing your life for commenting to a complete stranger that their choice in discipline may not be the best.  Lefenus Pickett could have just as well been anyone of us on June 18 last year as he boarded a Philadelphia Septa bus and shortly after, witnessed 20 year-old Penny Chapman spanking her son when he started to run up and down the bus.  After Pickett complained and referenced that Chapman was “abusing” her son, he then said he witnessed an offended Chapman call someone on her cell phone, and when the bus stopped on Cecil B. Moore Avenue, she was escorted off of the bus and two men armed with weapons proceeded to shoot into the bus 13 times.  The bus driver sped from the scene and amazingly none of the passengers were hurt.

Unfortunately, this is the reason that many of us choose to say nothing when we witness parents who choose to broadcast their obvious lack of parenting skills in public for the world to witness.  We question if it’s really any of our business, we want to avoid confrontation or we foolishly believe that if we haven’t had the opportunity to parent ourselves, we obviously don’t know any better than those who in many instances didn’t plan on becoming parents themselves.  It truly does take a village to raise a child.   Most of us had parents or parental figures when we were children and have enough of a frame of reference to know who deserves to be “Mother-Of-The Year” and who needs to be meeting with child services.

We’ve all seen it at least once.  And while I don’t partake in social work as a hobby, I must say that it turns my stomach when I see a mother proceed to cuss and demean her child, kicking him while he is on the ground crying because she’s upset that he keeps pestering her to buy a dollar toy (which I actually have witnessed).   If a child’s own parent isn’t even protecting them, you have to wonder who is.  So I am calling out trifling parents everywhere and letting them know that their behavior will no longer be tolerated.  Hopefully none of the traits below apply to you, and if they do, there’s no better time to make a change.

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  • LadyBug

    My bills including school, clothes and food totals around $1,800-2,000 a month. I receive $500.00 dollars a month for 2 kids. If I pay my own bills and provide my kids with a good life you can go to hell telling me I can’t spend some of that check on myself.

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  • RaIN206

    my cousin has a 7 month old daughter and i have a 1 year old son. We both smoke cigarettes but i never smoke in the car or in my home. We were driving one day and she started smoking a cigarette with her daughter in the back seat. She asked me if i want one and i said yes. I knew it was wrong to smoke the cigarette in the car with her daughter in the back. I quickly put it out and regretted it. All kids are precious and i forgot that for a moment. 

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  • Someone hurt

    This is so saddening because I can relate.I am 23 years old and I resent my mother so much.She had me when she was 19 and has always blamed me for disrupting her future.My dad left her because she got pregnant (with me) so she blames me for that also.I have tried to bend over backwards to please her but she is never happy-always find fault with me.Now I am in university on a scholarship and she feels I owe her something though I was raised up my my grandmother and aunt for most parts.Anyway I share my allOwance with her because honestly I feel guilty for ruining her future.If she didnt have me she would be far in life.I know it sounds stupid but I believe it and so I am always extra careful with my bf of 3
    years.I have promised myself to be a good mother and that means planned pregnancy.I hope she can read this but I know she would NEVER click on articles like this

  • MixedUpInVegas

    Growing up poor isn’t as bad as growing up neglected. Lots of us were poor growing up, but we were kept clean, raised by vigilant parents, read to at home, taken to church and expected to do well in school (or suffer the wrath of our parents at home.) It seems that intellectual, spiritual and moral neglect is worse than wearing hand-me-down clothes or eating neckbones and collard greens for dinner 4 nights a week.

    I don’t know how we can impress on our people that parenthood is a huge responsibility that should not be undertaken lightly. The mere giving of life is no great gift if it isn’t accompanied by the resources to support and nurture that life.

    As women, we should jealously guard our God-given gift of the ability to create a new life and the sacred trust between mother and child. It is not to be given away freely and thoughtlessly or used to benefit ourselves or further our own agendas.

    • Brownielocks

      I agree with everything in this post, and there is nothing wrong with neckbones and collard greens. Or beans or sweet potatoes for that matter. :-)

  • Newz757

    One of my pet peeves is when parents teach their very young daughters to dance seductively with their *ss sticking out, bouncing around, and all of that, and they are like 3-10 yrs old…WTF is that. Anytime before 16 to me is inappropriate but to sexualize a kid that early is crazy.

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  • Raywil3

    More men should read this.  There are a lot of trifling women, but there are just as many baby daddys out there who need to stop being trifling and be a real man, a father!  This is from a brother 2nd, a father 1st.

  • GabieA

    You missed taking your child’s credit and having a ball with it!Thank god for lifelock!

  • iz_wide

    Yup definitely, the uncensored music with the super explicit cursing, sexually explicit lyrics – blaring at the house or in the car with the child. That’s so foul. Kids don’t EVER need to hear that crap at any age. But then they’ll get mad when the child cusses- if they have any sense at all. Then there are the parents that let the daughters dress tooooo adult, no, they dress them like lil hookers, when they r just lil babies. Can’t forget the lack of manners – please & thank u, and being respectful to elders just because they are older goes a long way. Kids’ mouths are so disrespectful nowadays – they talk crazy to their parents & it’s cool – I don’t think so—-I wudv had teefus missing if I said sum of the things these kids tell their parents. I’m str8t up ol skool over here.

  • Teflon Mom

    Please, say that one about not having every Tom, Dyck and Harry around your child again…somebody didn’t hear you!  I HATE that ish!

  • Meghan

    This was absolutely wonderful!  Every parent should read this!

  • pregnantbombshell

    This was a great article and the competition thing helped me put things in perspective…it’s so sad because the children suffer due to the lack of wisdom and maturity in parents.