Is It Ever Okay To Call A Woman The B-Word?

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And if we are being really honest, some women are so horribly toxic that you can’t think of a more eloquently word to describe them. So are we supposed to pretend that we should never, ever, ever call a woman a Itchbay? I mean we are quick to call men bastards if they don’t act appropriately, so what’s the difference?

I think for many, it’s not the word necessarily but the power behind it.   Despite the appearance, women still have to claw their way to the top on an uneven playing field.  And sociologically speaking, words do evoke conscious and unconscious responses. The same way in which a white person’s utterance of the N-word draws upon a history of lynchings, beatings and the snarling tooth racist dogs, the B-word too can serve as a reminder about how your opinionated, confidence self may not be taken as seriously as your male counterpart.

The crazy thing is that I know men, who will never, out of respect, call a woman a Itchbay, a hoe, a Slore or any other derogatory terms, but are not above treating women disrespectfully. In some ways, my grandma’s advice that it’s not what they call you but what you answer to that matters rings true.  Nevertheless, all women are not inherently “bitches.”  And the problem with its usage is that we can never differentiate properly on who “deserves” the title and who does not.

I don’t know why Jay-Z didn’t take the chance to say “Even though I didn’t write that poem, I get it now. This isn’t just about me.”  I mean it would have been a chance to show his personal growth. Perhaps it was stubbornness or just simply the defiance of a black man, who routinely has seen his movements forced and dictated to him by society at large.  Whatever the reason, the decision to keep embracing the B-word does nothing to challenge or defy the status quo, nor does it make you a rebel, which is supposed to be at the heart of Hip-Hop music.  If anything it just illustrates a sense of false power in a world where you truly have none.

Charing Ball is the author of the blog People, Places & Things.

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