Madame Noire | Black Women's Lifestyle Guide | Black Hair | Black Love

1. Have Fun

Do not go to a speed dating event with an uninterested approach. Let’s say you are uneasy about meeting new people. However, your friend convinces you to come along. In this instance, there is no need to tell all of your dates, “Speed dating is not my thing; I’m only here because my friend asked me to come.” Members have told me that they were instantly turned off when being told this. It showed them that their dates were disinterested in the experience. You don’t have to be excited out of your mind, but if you come in like you’re fulfulling a request or doing a chore, you’ll be wasting your time and that of the people who come into contact with you.

Also, the comments may be interpreted as snooty, demonstrating to him or her that you don’t feel you need matchmaking services to find a date. Admittedly, some of us do need assistance in finding that compatible mate, so try not to come off judgmental.

Remember to enjoy the experience because you never know who you will meet.

2. Have an Open Mind

Try not to have the mindset that you will not meet a compatible mate. Perhaps you are discouraged by the dating scene. You probably went on plenty of dates that have landed you nowhere. You may have also attended a speed dating event which may have tainted your view of unconventional dating methods. Unfortunately, everyone has had a bad dating experience. Try not to automatically assume the outcome of the event before you even start. We have all been guilty of saying that an event is a waste of time if we do not immediately see anyone that we are physically attracted to. However, if you are patient, you may later find that one of your dates has something else great to offer, and you could hit it off swimmingly. Remember to stay positive and keep an open mind.

3. It’s Not All About You

Everyone enjoys talking about their achievements. However, when you are on a date, you should always remember that it’s not all about you. No one wants to go on a first date and have their date talk about themselves the entire evening. You must keep in mind that each date is between three to five minutes, so if you spend the entire time talking about yourself, then you will learn nothing about your date. As a result, your date might walk away thinking that you are either really arrogant or were just really disinterested in the idea of getting to know them further.

4. Do not exchange information

Allow the host to coordinate the match results. There are a few issues that result when you ask your date for his or her information. For one, this can possibly make your date feel uncomfortable. Secondly, you will never know with certainty whether your date was really interested in you. For example, say two people are having their five-minute date. The date appears to be going well, so the guy asks the woman for her phone number. She thinks that he’s nice but really, she’s not interested in him. However, she gives him her phone number out of kindness (also looked at as pity…). The guy walks away believing that she is interested and plans on calling her soon, but she walks away hoping that he doesn’t contact her at all.

It is beneficial to allow the host to gather the results from each participant. This way you are assured that the person(s) you are interested in are also interested in you, and if not, you don’t have to run into those awkward moments where you have to explain why the fire wasn’t there.

Overall, you will be surprised at the number of viable singles looking to date someone like you. Remember that everyone is attending speed dating events for the same reason—to mix and mingle with new individuals (who just happen to be of the opposite sex). If you keep these four points in mind, it will make your next speed dating event (or once again, your first) rewarding.

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