My Partner Wants to Do What? Where? (‘Girl On Top’ Column)

August 2, 2010  |  

“Girl On Top” is a weekly sex column on Madame Noire. Stay tuned for more topics, comment or write us at editors@madamenoire.com if you have suggestions!

A girlfriend recently confided in me that her current lover has been trying to pull something out of his bag of sexual tricks that doesn’t quite tickle her fancy: he wants to come on her face. “I don’t know what to do!” she texted me, shortly after he fell asleep. “It just seems…weird.”

This is kind of tricky. For starters, he’s not a boyfriend but just a friend with whom she’s having a  physical relationship. While I don’t think you should be unwilling to explore new things or perhaps broaden your comfort zone with casual partners, I do think that certain concessions may be more appropriate for someone about whom you’re a little bit more serious.

I’m not a fan of the “bust on my face” thing. It feels somewhat degrading and it’s not something I’d let a casual partner do.  Someone I’m serious about…we might be able to negotiate a compromise, but I honestly don’t enjoy it. I do appreciate that my friend’s lover asked her if he could do it instead of simply surprising her, which would have smacked of some disregard or perhaps disrespect on his part. But given the fact that she really doesn’t like the face shot, I told her she should decline.  She handled it pretty well: when he brought it up the next time they hooked up, she deflected with a coy “but I’d much rather swallow” (she enjoys that), and when he asked her about it post-coitus, she explained that she just didn’t like it. He didn’t take it personally and he moved on.  Their happy affair continues.

While my girl and I aren’t fans of the facial, some women love it and can’t get enough. If that’s what turns you on…go for it!  As with anything sexual, it’s important to feel comfortable asking for what you want and saying no to that which you don’t. Be firm and clear. If your gent isn’t trying to hear you, then it’s time to reconsider who you twist sheets with.

Till next time, my darlings!

SisterToldja

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