Reasons Why Black Women Don’t Date White Men

January 4th, 2012 - By MN Editor

Interracial dating has been one of the biggest conversations within the black community. Black men have made it no secret their liking to white women. Regina King recently raised the argument that we as black women still have not become completely comfortable dating outside our race. I recently did a survey on a group of black women regarding their reasons for not dating men who are not of color. Through my findings it seems as though black women aren’t actually opposef to dating outside of their race. Part of the dilemma lies in women of color thinking that men outside of their race won’t be attracted to them. Below are the 5 top reasons black women are apprehensive about going there with a white guy.

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  • Kalbertini

    I am a white man & I didn^t like the statement most white men prefer thin white women. Black women especially those that have meat & potatoes(just a expression describing all women who are curvaceous & have a bit of xtra weight wise) can be stunningly gorgeous.There is one at work who is not married & certainly not thin(& does not have to be) but her smile,beautiful face,curves etc have me swooning.Many white men I know like women of colour & women in general who are not too thin.Some weight in the buttocks,bottom & even waist depict a healthy woman.Just like the painters in the renaissance.I goota find a way to talk/communicate with this lovell black lady at work,but its difficult

    • Kalbertini

      Sorry for a bit of bad grammer in last sentence. I gotta find a way to talk/communicate with this lovely black lady at work,but its difficult

    • Angieb71

      YOU SHOULD GO  AFTER WHO YOU WANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Unpaintedhuffheins

    4 of the 5 reasons – the top four at that – are in essence “why white men don’t date black women,” just lazily turned around as reasons black women therefore feel uncomfortable about the idea. 

    Anyway, I’m white and I love black women.  Yeah, the hair is goofy, but the lips and skin are wonderful.  Also, a good woman of any color is hard to find, but it seems like when you do find a good black woman, she’s the absolute cream of the crop. 

    • http://howhereallythinks.com/ Jamel Mont

       Dude…I don’t see anything beautiful about your hair.  God gave is only son our hair, that’s how special it was to him.

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  • http://hizzandherzorganics.com/ nelson

    TOLD YOU CRAZZEE CLAWZZ was gonna start back up!! Here we go people! CARRIBEAN IN THE HOUSE, is back in the HOUSE!! YAAAAYYYY!! LMFAO at his/her latest comments.

  • Latessa124

    I read with amusement your article on why black women don’t date white men. I’ve been married to one and now date one for the last four years. I’ve been with intelligent black men too. The white man I’m with loves my locks (natural hair, loves my large round bottom, and breasts….and most of all loves my mind.) And he not just says it shows it. Many white men approach me.  I guess I just don’t limit myself and that seems to work.

    Had to share…love the article and conversation!

    Cheers..

  • John

    I believe love should happen. I am a white man. Never had a racial preference or desire based on my family experience. Find a person you love balck or white.

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  • Ra

    Not attracted to white men should be #1. Just because we don’t date white men does not mean that this necessarily stems from an insecurity. Black women are just fine and don’t need a white man on their arm to establish that we are secure.

    • Napper Trey

      afro-american man love there woman steel, just respact,love your black kings in everthing will go good!

      • http://hizzandherzorganics.com/ nelson

        UHHH, What??!!! TRY IT LIKE THIS, Afro- American men love their black women still. Just respect, love your black kings and everything will be good! I didn’t mean to correct your entry, BUT WE DON’T NEED to give THAT CARIBBEAN IN THE HOUSE or ANONYMOUS( the one hating on BLACKS) more to work with. PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU ENTER YOUR BLOGS!!! 

        • HAWK

          I agree. Those two pestilence are the scum of the earth, most especially ‘Caribbean In The House’!.

        • http://www.facebook.com/RosarioRed Rosario Stefania Scarsci

          Lol. Sorry byt this had me LOL in the library. I had to control. Ha.

        • Napper Trey

          ok baby!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/ZZ5THOTZEP4T6JYUW7W37YPHYA Ace

    im not gonna lie, this is probably the stupidest article i have ever read.  there are soooo many things wrong with the first two sentences; they give the impression that the author is a generalist, bitter, misguided, uninformed, etc.

    “Interracial dating has been one of the biggest conversations within the
    black community.”
    Says who? As a black person I have rarely to if ever talked about interracial dating.

    “Black men have made it no secret their liking to white
    women.”
    This statement screams of personal grievance and bitter past experience. How do you go from stating that interracial dating is the topic of subject, to black men stating their affection for white women??  You do realize there are other races out there, and if black men are dating white women why that means… let me get this right… then the white women they date, must… like them too??  So then, I suppose white women have also made it no secret their liking to black men?  Your framing of the sentence indicates your own personal subversion to the societal stereotypes of black men.

    ” I recently did a survey on a group of black women regarding their reasons for not dating men who are not of color.”
    Based on your first two sentences this probably means you sat around with your friends drinking and bashing black men for your dating grievances.  And confirmed by the author on the next page:

    “After speaking to 6 black women…”
    Seriously, you are now citing a sample size of 6 as a “survey”?!

  • http://profile.yahoo.com/ZZ5THOTZEP4T6JYUW7W37YPHYA Ace

    im not gonna lie, this is probably the stupidest article i have ever read.  there are soooo many things wrong with the first two sentences; they give the impression that the author is a generalist, bitter, misguided, uninformed, etc.

    “Interracial dating has been one of the biggest conversations within the
    black community.”

    Says who? As a black person I have rarely to if ever talked about interracial dating.

    “Black men have made it no secret their liking to white
    women.”
    This statement screams of personal grievance and bitter past experience. How do you go from stating that interracial dating is the topic of subject, to black men stating their affection for white women??  You do realize there are other races out there, and if black men are dating white women why that means… let me get this right… then the white women they date, must… like them too??  So then, I suppose white women have also made it no secret their liking to black men?  Your framing of the sentence indicates your own personal subversion to the societal stereotypes of black men.

    ” I recently did a survey on a group of black women regarding their reasons for not dating men who are not of color.”

    Based on your first two sentences this probably means you sat around with your friends drinking and bashing black men for your dating grievances.

  • Miscmale

    I am a white man who met a black woman on Facebook and we are hitting it off just great race wise with the exceptions of other factors. She doesn’t want to spend an evening or weekend with me as well as not being sexual. I had asked if this is race related and she sys no. I love her dearly and hope that our relationship improves. If not, race had no bearing.

    • http://www.facebook.com/RosarioRed Rosario Stefania Scarsci

       It really depends on more factors than race. For example, How long have you two been dating? Most women do not want to jump in the sack so soon. I mean, I know about needs and wants. It’s okay to want sex, but at the same time, do you respect her? Have you guys gotten the chance to bond and get to know each other without sex? How about long talks and long walks? For a woman (and yes, I will say this, a lot of bw are raised to wait), giving herself up is something that is supposed to be a gift for someone she loves. She probably likes you but you can’t expect a woman to jump right in.

  • j.t mcgivering

    I am WM married to an impeccable,beautiful BW for 16 yrs (with3 tiresome kids lol)..The most important thing abt who you marry,in my view,is CLASS..Four of my ‘white’ friends/acquaintances have married bw just in the last year.They all have a lot in common due to education,tastes in art,high culture etc.BW are the most beautiful women on earth..Quit beating youself up. lol.

  • Njerimk89

    It’s also about location, and groups you hang out with. I dated a white guy in high school, and in college was constantly approached by white guys or got crushed on. I agree the ambw relationship is growing, in college I went to a couple of parties with a mixture of black and asian and was hit on by both. I also live in a city that was created for multi-racial families, so a lot of bmww, bwwm, etc., families here. I’ve never really had an issue of dating within or outside of my race, but I definitely agree with the list, when conversating with some other black women. The finger isn’t being thrown at black men, and I don’t think we’re complaining about black men dating outside of their race, many of my black guyfriends do and so do I and we support eachother and root for eachother, because it’s about the personality and their feelings not the color of their skin.

  • Njerimk89

    It’s also about location, and groups you hang out with. I dated a white guy in high school, and in college was constantly approached by white guys or got crushed on. I agree the ambw relationship is growing, in college I went to a couple of parties with a mixture of black and asian and was hit on by both. I also live in a city that was created for multi-racial families, so a lot of bmww, bwwm, etc., families here. I’ve never really had an issue of dating within or outside of my race, but I definitely agree with the list, when conversating with some other black women. The finger isn’t being thrown at black men, and I don’t think we’re complaining about black men dating outside of their race, many of my black guyfriends do and so do I and we support eachother and root for eachother, because it’s about the personality and their feelings not the color of their skin.

  • YOUHAVETOBEWILLING

    This article was a big generalization. While I do commend you for writing this to spread a word some may not yet have known, I have to say, I could have single handedly guessed everything on the list, and I’m not even a decade old. Six people not does a survey make. Unless you were surveying 60 black women from different states, then your gatherings are kind of invalid.This sort of read as if their is a pot of gold attached to the white man’s p*nis. I don’t want to be Debbie-downer here but a lot of these comments do not make sense to me. I live in Florida which is one big melting pot. There are so many mixed couples here- black/white, asian/black, latin/irish, and the list goes on. I’m not saying that Florida is exempt from the “black woman’s woes” of not dating interracial, because there are a lot of same race couples, but come on. If you see a bag you like do you not check it out. I’m very much attracted to white men, I’ve had jungle fever since I was in middle school. If I see a white guy I think looks nice, I go up to him. The same goes for a black guy or a latin guy or which ever. If any indication of your survey is correct, we have forgiven the white man and everything he’s done to us but we have yet to forgive ourselves for being born black. 

    Besides, there is nothing wrong with sticking to what is familiar. If a black man is what you want, who says you should settle for anything less?

  • YOUHAVETOBEWILLING

    This article was a big generalization. While I do commend you for writing this to spread a word some may not yet have known, I have to say, I could have single handedly guessed everything on the list, and I’m not even a decade old. Six people not does a survey make. Unless you were surveying 60 black women from different states, then your gatherings are kind of invalid.This sort of read as if their is a pot of gold attached to the white man’s p*nis. I don’t want to be Debbie-downer here but a lot of these comments do not make sense to me. I live in Florida which is one big melting pot. There are so many mixed couples here- black/white, asian/black, latin/irish, and the list goes on. I’m not saying that Florida is exempt from the “black woman’s woes” of not dating interracial, because there are a lot of same race couples, but come on. If you see a bag you like do you not check it out. I’m very much attracted to white men, I’ve had jungle fever since I was in middle school. If I see a white guy I think looks nice, I go up to him. The same goes for a black guy or a latin guy or which ever. If any indication of your survey is correct, we have forgiven the white man and everything he’s done to us but we have yet to forgive ourselves for being born black. 

    Besides, there is nothing wrong with sticking to what is familiar. If a black man is what you want, who says you should settle for anything less?

  • IShotCherylCole

    Who would be a Black woman?……we can love ourselves as much as we want but it seems as though men of all races have been brainwashed into not to liking us….I could be wrong but..

    All I can say is White Supremacy is a terrible thing and I hope theres a special place in heaven for black women…some place like a special black woman spa where we can get all the special attention we should have gotten on earth.

    Sexism and Racism are individually tricky at the best of times …combined they are an expletive@£@!$!

  • sakinamengle

    If Whoopi Goldberg can get a white guy?????  Whoopi Goldberg is an awesome, well educated, beautiful woman, and she can get any guy!!!  Getting a white guy is not some huge accomplishment!!  White men are happy that Whoopi Goldberg wants them!!  Some people here are obviously brainwashed about what beauty is.  I suggest you take a very close look at Whoopi Goldberg, and you can see she is far more beautiful inside and out than the made up, plastic surgeoned up, dumb, white, Kim Kardashians of the world that the “white establishment media”  is making you think is so beautiful!!

  • Cool1reese

    While all of these black women are saying this. Right now here in Santa Monica Ca. Their is a black woman sitting here right in front of me with a white man.  I live and work here in Santa Monica Ca.  I call out any black single or non single women to come here and hang out with me for my 8 hour work day.  I’m single and love my brown skin sisters.  We can all complain, but everything we are saying is a reflection of us.  We must change are negative attitude, be willing to let go of our past relationships and start fresh with a new you!  I have more white women speak to me, more than my own race, and that is just a good morning, good afternoon, and good evening.  The 1st. law of nation is self preservation, take care of you and the rest will follow, be happy with you, and how you’re able to love and receive love.  I work security here in Santa Monica and I see more sisters with white men here, but in LA, the Wood, and in Compton there are sisters with brothers who are struggling trying to make it, and I give phrase to those who stay true.  The sisters that work here and live here in Santa Monica Ca. date the $ not the man, so majority of the men with the $ are white, and can provide for the needed materials of a black woman.  If a sister can get a white guy who is willing to pay when they go out, why not!  It’s better than going out with a real true hard working brother who may ask if you can go dutch.  Every sister enters a new relationship carrying their old relationship with them.  It’s a black mans curse, for we may say something or do something that triggers that emotion of the past.  We always want something now instead of healing ourselves and being patience and learning ourselves and understand who we are before we move forward on a more positive note.  I love my sisters, I love my sisters, but if us black men are not the 1′s for you, then so be it.  $ is the root of all evil, we must allow our heart to love, be loved, and show love for 1 another, if we say we want to continue dating within our race, and pray for 1 another that we grow to love ourselves within our relationships, have and good/clear understanding using communication.  As I tell everyone I’ve met, I’m here!  Santa Monica Mall in Santa Monica Ca.    

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_GRZK54TCCWRAFY33A2CLBJ74IY Jane T

    ughh, reading some of the comments on this post has made my stomach churn, I gotta click away. taking a “survey of 6 women is hardly a sample, the article is stupid.

    I pray you all let go of your anger one day

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