Six Fashion Trends Sistas Need to Change. Now.

January 4, 2012  |  
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A well-dressed, well-coifed black woman with her finger on the pulse of style and elegance is quite a sight to behold (see any movie from the turn of the millennium starring Taye Diggs for examples).

But man, far too many sisters don’t know how to work with what they have (or don’t have), often resulting in disasters the likes of which wind up on sites like Failblog.org or Hotghettomess.com. It’s easy for me to level the blame of black woman style disasters on the bad economy and all that…but then I look at the music industry and see chicks with money completely blowing it as well.

I’m no Tim Gunn, but I know what looks good and what’s flat-out atrocious. Here are just six out of many:

Photo courtesy of nowaygirl.com

Lace-front wigs: Fine, many brothas do like long hair. Great. But the type of dude who gets his jollies from black women with hair like a blonde Norwegian chick should reassess their priorities. The lace-front is an affront to decent coifs everywhere and should be abandoned in the name of more natural or natural-looking hairdos everywhere. If a dude is only into you because of your fake long hair, then your relationship is fake in essence. Embrace reality.

Midriff where it doesn’t belong:  I’ll be the first to admit: in-style or out, I love me some bare midriff on the nice, taut stomach of a pretty woman. But I think a lot of hood-fantastic sistas don’t register the base requirement for any outfit that shows midriff: A TAUT STOMACH. I could recommend simply hitting the gym, but women rolling like this probably have deeper issues.

Baby Phat & “Urban” brand name jackets: Played. Super-played. Beyond played. This is the hood chick calling card: a waist-high, cheap-looking leather coat, often draped around the torso or with raccoon meets rabbit hair fur around the hood. Leather is cool…but find another path, though. As a grown woman, a jacket covered in insignia, or a huge label on the back comes off looking real high school.

Leggings with everything: A good pair of leggings, whether to work out in or throw a dress or something over, is fine–and most men are big fans of the seemingly painted on tights. However, let’s not get the game twisted–leggings are not real bottoms. You should not be throwing on flourescent neon tights with a shirt so tight and short it looks like it came from the Baby Gap. Chances are you’ll look like a soon-to-be guest on the show How Do I Look? Answer? A mess.

Out of control tattoos: Alright, so this is not exactly a fashion accessory. But it’s the one “accessory” that’s not easily taken off, which makes for a serious problem when you get older and don’t wish to explain to your granddaughter the “Big Sexxxy” tattoo you have scrawled across your now sagging mass of a lower back. White women also get terrible tattoos, but we take it to another level…especially considering that some women of the chocolate persuasion get dumb tattoos that fade, the only way anyone is going to be able to make out what’s on your body is with a CSI-esque black light.

Too tight when not appropriate: As you can see, some things on this list are largely dedicated to women who could stand to lose a few pounds. Just two nights ago, as the new year set on a dark downtown Chicago, I witnessed two larger sisters galumping up the street in miniskirts and five-inch heels. It took them about five minutes to clear one street block. What a sight it was to behold. I’m not sure what impression we’re giving our ladies that that mess is even remotely hot, but it’s more vomit-inducing than anything.

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